Well, I wasn't planning on leaving until next weekend, but I'm leaving tonight, with nothing but some clothes.

I pay every bill in the house, she is supposed to be responsible for day to day expenses. She still wants me to pay those, and sited the seperation order which says I will continue support in the regular fashion until I move out. So I am moving.

Like I said, I already pay all of her bills, and starting this month have to start paying all of my own separate expenses and get utilities connected etc. She still contributes nothing, and she won't. She claims that is her money and she needs it. She won't even buy groceries for the children.

T.J. -

I am so sorry to hear so your impending situation. I don't know if you've been following my story, but I've obviously got some hard times ahead of me too.

As the time may come that I may have to move out if I'm going to implement Plan B, I have been curious about the financial sitation as well. Seems unfair (did anyone ever say that life is fair?) that WS will get to enjoy our nice home, car, etc. while I find some cheap apartment. Then she will be free to talk 24 hours a day to OM (at my expense, of course).

I'll remember to pray for you and your strength during this trying time. I'm beginning to see that there are better days down the road for me, and I'm sure the same is eventually true for you.

I'll be watching for your updates. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my first post.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could:

1) Instead of money, give a gift certificate of $75.00 per week from a grocery store (so it has to be spent on groceries..and 75 is PLENTY for 3 people)
2) Cancel long distance on phone and pay only basic, unlimited service (approx 22/mth). And buy one 500 minute phone card every two months (plenty for any normal person--I've had my 500 minute card for 3 mths now, it's not yet 1/2 gone and all my friends and family are long distance).
3) You're not paying a cell phone, are you?!?!?

I don't know, Tom. What are the basics?
-Groceries (approx 75 per wk)
-Electric (150 per month and she picks up slack)
-Water (50 per month should be plenty)
-Basic Phone
-TV for kids
-Mortage

What else are you required to pay? Tom, are the terms of your divorce finalized yet? Do the support payments graduate downwards after a certain time?

*hugs*

Tom, I think it will be better if you move out for awhile. She seems to be kinda hard to live with right now. A little distance will be good for you.

Tom, sure can't blame you for getting the heck out of there!
Surprised you were able to hang in there this long. Really.

Dude, did you even HAVE a lawyer at these court proceedings??
If you did, then FIRE Him and get another. Geeesh, was he on her payroll or what?

Nice suggestions maddyk.

Also don't forget to buy a TV antennae (a one time cost) and CANCEL the cable or satellite.
Its called "free" TV......anyone remember that?

In addition, Internet access (although convenient) is NOT a necessity.

Hey brother, YOU have to cut back and go bare bones......No Reason everyone shouldn't.
She WANTS this.......so she has to realize that sacrifices Must Be Made for HER happiness (GAG!!).

Sorry your getting screwed over like this........Glad I didn't have to go through it.
I'm so stubborn (and yes, maybe stupid) that I'd probably dig in my heels and go to jail (or perhaps just disappear) rather then SUPPORT the destruction of my OWN Life.
Gets me angry just reading about it.

Oh by the way, Definitely NOT advocating you DO any of that. Just me thinking OUT Loud.

If this all ends When the D is final, I'd be paving the way for a real "quickie"!
Let this OM support Her.

I don't think this ends until the kids reach 18 or maybe even 21. Thanks to FL no-fault.

It is an idea to have the internet available to your kids at your apt. and cancel it at the house. I doubt if the court can force you to provide internet for your wife. Is the condo very far away from the house? I also don't think the wife needs a cell phone. There was life before cell phones. You do still have a land line?

I certainly understand your wanting to not wait to move out.

Hey Tj...so sorry again for the continued bull$hit you have to live through...

I do have a question...

I don't know the laws, so it may seem ignorant, but, has your lawyer tried to appeal all of this?

Along the same lines as Liny, maybe you should go back and see your lawyer.

She won't even spend her money to buy groceries for the kids? I mean come on.

I never saw your answer on whether she was still using drugs or not.

This woman is not fit to be a mother with custody right now. You are probably doing your kids a great diservice by accepting this situation the way it is now.

Psssst...Hey TJ...if you've tried "everything", check out the thread I just posted for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

top rope, those are some thoughts..but don't forget that she has custody so the kids will miss out on that too. Do the kids NEED TV and internet? No..but if they don't have it, TJ is going to look like the bad guy.

You've offered to pay for education and/or training for your wife, TJ..it's too bad the courts don't take that into consideration when deciding on earning potential.

Hey LINY, funny. But STBX lurks on here to see what I'm saying. Now if there is any odd smell I will be blamed. Heck, I would have been blamed anyway. I get blamed if there is a cloudy sky.

Decided I'm not leaving yet. The condo won't be empty till Friday. I work two 24-hour shifts between then so I won't see her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'll endure two more days. I did go and buy some stuff for the kids. STBX hoards all her money.

I wouldn't cut off the internet, the kids use it all the time for school.

But there is only so much water in this well. The STBX is only used to writing checks not putting money in the bank to pay the bills. My well is about dry.

I'm so sorry TJ. Glad you don't have to be there b/c of work, but it sucks all the way around.

Sad to say, but maybe Mrs. TJ needs a good dose of "real world" for herself. Geez.

Praying for you and yours.

Kimmy

TJ,

R your little ones old enough to get a gocery type of gift card to use when the WS chooses NOT to provide for their basic requirements?

This could also be used to keep track of how much, when and even what is spent. They can give you the receipts.

BTW, if she is lurking..... let it be known that mothers don't like to hear that any mother hoards and denies their own children. Now she needs to get on the schtick and be a real mom. She is hurting our reputations out there and leaving a bad memory for the children. My little one hurts and even cries when he hears about children suffering from the A's of their parents.

Let me know if this is too much info at this time. If it is, I will remove it.

JMHO,
L.