I think something good has happened, but I need some advice and feedback!
My BH called me tonight to ask me where the blank checks were in the house cuz he's having someone come over to fix the furnace tonight. I told him then asked if I could come over to do some laundry tomorrow. He said that I could. Then I said, "Well, since I'm gonna be there for a little while, is it okay if I make some dinner?" He said, "Go ahead." Here's where I need some input...

I think I'm gonna make his favorite...seafood fettuchini with baked ranch bread. I don't think I should try to make it all romantic, cause I don't want to scare him. But I want to be able to take advantage of the opportunities he does allow me to do any nice thing for him I can. I don't want to get too excited about this, though inside I'm jumping for joy. It's only been a little over 3 weeks since I told him about my A, and I realize he needs lots of time and space. I think it's been a while since he's had good cooking (not to toot my own horn, but I am a good cook). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Any responses would be great...does this sound like a good plan? Anybody have any ideas to add?

Rae03,

I think it is fine to show your husband you're thinking about him by making one of his favorite meals. But I think you are wise not to put too much hope in it being a "turning point," though it could well be.

Give some thought to how you might respond if he says something like, "that was good... what, are you feeling guilty and trying to make it up to me?"

Or he might not say anything at all.

There are lots of ways he might react. Just plan to be honest and caring with your reponses. I hope it goes well.

~ Snow

Snowbelle,
Thanks for the feedback. I hadn't thought about how I might respond to his response. Yes, caring and loving. If he did say something nasty, I'd say something like, "I can understand how you could feel that way, but I did this because I love you." Any other suggestions for responses?

Rae

You know, as a BS, validation of what I was feeling was always helpful. My FWH is king of that. So, say he makes a remark I mentioned before, about the guilt. You could say something like, "It pains me to know how much I have hurt you, and yes, I do feel guilty for the chaos I've put between us. I just wanted to touch old times, if it was possible, and show you I am thinking of you now, and not just myself." You get the idea...

Say what is in your heart. Hope this helps.

~ Snow

Snowbelle,

Oh, yes, yes, yes. That's way better than what I came up with...that's exactly how I feel too...just how you put it. Thank you so much!

Rae

Rae-

Can I come eat with you too? I haven't had a good home cooked meal in a while. Pleeeeeese!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

2scared

2Scared--

Awe, sorry...did I make you drool? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Then I will refrain from discussing my sought-after tasty, chewy choc. chip cookies...oops.

Will let you know how everything turned out...minus the food talk.

Hope you are doing well. Continuing to pray for you...

Rae

Rae-

Aaaahhhhh. Chocolate! I'm dying here!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'm so glad you're getting an opportunity to see you H. Look good! Stay soft. Don't push. Patience....

I'm praying for you!

2scared