I figured out today wh is now living with ow even though he hasn't told me......now i know why he has been so short when he talks to me...like he's watching what he says.....he still thinks OW deserves more time than his own son.....the pain in me keeps growing...apparently she is really insecure about me......I'm trying so hard to stay strong guys.....but I am still having nightmares....the one that keeps current is the miscarriage....and the one with OW stealing my newborn....anyone have nightmares...and how did you get them to stop.....the more I am going throught this the more I wish i could just get amnesia and forget I ever knew him....that way I wouldn't know about them being together...I would know my son and my family but have a hole where he should be....the pain would be so much less.....he says that my loving him is a way of me trying to control him and I should just move on....I'm so tired....can anyone help?

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it hurts, but it will get better. Keep being strong and being the best person you can be. Be there for your son, let him be your focus right now.

I am so sorry for your pain. Wish I could help, but I'm in the same amount of pain, I'm afraid. Be thankful you have your sweet child to pour all your love into. My son is grown, and I love my dogs, but ...

Prayers are going out to you from me right now. Hope you feel them.

thanks guys.....I just am trying my best and miss him so much....it's hard when it feels like he's abandoning us for another life even tho he says he's not.....people have told him to go home and we can start clean....but he's gotten himself in so deep so fast....i think he wants to come home but his pride won't let him....and the fact that he's gotten himself into this OW so much he doesn't know how to get out.....thank you so much for the prayers....I pray in time god will heal us and restore our family back together.....

The papers are filed- but not finalized yet, is that right?

Are you doing plan A or plan B?

Sending you gentle hugs and saying a prayer for your family.

I've been doing my best to plan A....but he hardly contacts me at all.....papers arn't finalized at all....I don't know and haven't heard if he has moved on them yet.....but all his time is spent away from us...I have this terrible feeling he is cooking up something malichious....with all the lies he's told me....and how he says he's being honest but i know he isn't telling the truth....I'm having a hard time trusting him....he's wanted me to let him handle all the finances....he still asks for alot....he's holding onto a key to the apartment my son and I live in.....he still wants to keep some things together...but he is with her....and he knows it's killing me inside

Hi Missing Him,

If he is living with OW, I think you should plan B him now. It is only causing you pain to talk to him knowing he is with her. Also if you cut him off clean, he will probably get tired of her after a few months. Plan B gives you peace. Allows you to work on you and get yourself together. I am getting ready to do plan B myself. I just told my husband to leave because he spent the night at OW's house. Claimed he slept in the car. Yeah right. WH's are such liars, at least mine is and he thinks I am stupid enough to believe it. Plan B allows him to remember good times with you and miss his family. He can't fence sit and has to face reality of his mess. I know it hurts to miss him but it hurts worse to talk to him knowing he is with her.

he claims he has moved on.....he just isn't telling me where he is living he thinks I still think he is living with friends....he claims he will never live with us again he never says how happy he is with her....he has mentioned once why he should pass up a good thing...other than that he hardly mentions the witch.....It hasn't been too long in plan A....is plan B more effective now...I mean if I told him no contact till he gives up OW...he would say OK bye...and I'll see you in court for my son

Hi,

I think the threats to take your son is just a scare tactic. Most women end up with their children. I feel for you. I am not sure what to say. You could try plan A a little longer. You do what you feel you should do in your heart. So you are not sure he is with OW? You are in such a hard place. Take care of you. Focus on you. Do what you think will keep you the most sane.

Can you do plan b without telling him?

well he isn't living where he was I know that....and when i talk to him on the phone he is very guarded in what he says and even online...he and I will be conversing and she will pop on and off like she is looking to see if I am on....I've seen him chat with people myself and got suspicious....this is why i think he is living with her

I know how you feel. Hang in there. Everybody tells me that things will get better......I'm still waiting!

maybe we can start a club...the still waiting club...because I intend to....as long as I can....