Thanks for the help!

I'm really torn right now...do I move near my family or stay here near my STBX for my son's sake?
I really can't afford to stay here but I just don't know what to do. This is so hard!

If you want to stay in FLA for you sons sake then make sure that your atty stipulates the proper support from you H so that this is possible otherwise you wont have a choice but to move to NC.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

I would stick it our in FLa for a couple of more months and see how things play out. I still believe in my heart that H will come around it may take some time but i think he will. I have hope for you and your family.

If you want to stay in FLA for you sons sake then make sure that your atty stipulates the proper support from you H so that this is possible otherwise you wont have a choice but to move to NC.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

I would stick it out in FLa for a couple of more months and see how things play out. I still believe in my heart that H will come around it may take some time but i think he will. I have hope for you and your family.

JAH...
Thanks for your advice. I don't want to stay married to my H. I know that for sure. He has done so much damage...I don't believe I could ever have a healthy relationship with him now.

I want to do what is best for my son but I also need to do what is best for me. I just don't know what that is right now. I'm so torn. I just wish I knew what was right. I've been up for several nights now crying over this. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo.

T

Are you torn between Fla and NC or are you torn about your M?

L

I'm torn about moving. I want to do what is best for my son...what is the best for my him? I just don't know what to do.

can't stop crying and everything is making me sad. I just don't know how to handle this! I do still love my H and it's so hard to know that he will be out of my life. I don't know how things got so out of hand. I wish I could rewind my life.

I know this was a ways back in your posts, TR, but wanted to say I hope you're feeling better, and to tell you that I TOTALLY understand your comment. I've spent all morning crying, or trying to keep from it (because I'm at work and it's not very fitting for a manager to cry in front of her employee).

It all seems like a really bad dream to me sometimes. I want it to end. I want my old life back. Right now, I'd take the bad parts, if it was just back to him and me together, without OW in the picture.

I can't imagine having to give up my home. It's hard enough for me just to give up my WH. In my opinion, you need support from family to get through your crisis.

LL

Thank you lordslady.
I just want to feel that moving away is the right thing to do for me and my son. I don't want to take him away from his dad but I have nobody here. I have friends but it's not the same. I need my family.
I do love my home and the way my life was. I will miss everyone here and miss my home. I'm just so torn. My son has all of his frineds here and his whole life has been here. Is it fair to him to rip him away from that??? I just don't know what to do!

Tree -

I think the best thing for you to do is to stay where you are. Your son needs stability and security. It would be a shame for him to be uprooted right now.

You need to start getting a life WITHOUT your husband. Get out and do things. Once you get over the horrible shock and pain, life does get better.

I think right now I need to just relax and give myself some time to make this tough decision. It's all so emotionally draining.
My son has a ball game tonight so I'm just going to focus on being there for him and try to have a normal day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

i have to agree with believer

Thank you for your honesty!
I will give myself some time to clear my head and weigh my options. I do want what is best for my son.
Thank you!

Tree-

How can we make you feel better? I was just like you after D-day, completely miserable. But life does get better, and you will get to the point where thinking about WH is not painful at all.

It just takes time. I hope that you will start taking good care of you. Next, take good care of your son. This will all work out.

believer...
Thank you so much. I do know that in time I will be ok. I am a good person and I know there is a good man out there for me.
I am going to give myself some time to decide what to do about moving. I do want what's best for my son. He is my heart. I don't want to do anything that will hurt him. I am able to talk to my H on somewhat of a civil level now. I would rather not talk to him at all but I am trying to talk to him nicely for our son's sake. It's very hard.
He continues to try and put some of the blam on me but I just overlook it because I know that one day he will understand what he has done and he is the one that has to look in the mirror everyday. I can't change who he is.
I can only better myself for me and my son.
I'm putting it in God's hands right now.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Tree -

Remember that you offered your husband something precious - your love. Obviously he did not appreciate it. But you cannot chain him down force him to stay with you. He may be back or he may not.

However you can move on and find someone someday that deserves your special love. So hang in there and take care of you and your son.

I am sorry to hear your story but it opened my eyes. I am from Florida. How long do you have to be married to get alimony in Florida?

It kills me it works that way here because I may be heading that way some day. He said that he knows my parents helped us to get the house (my name and my dad's on mortgage and gave us over 35K for the house)so he will leave just taking his clothes. He did not have credit so we used mine and the debt is in my name even that is was done for his previous marriage child support lawyers and buying his truck for work. He said the house will be for me to keep and he will help with debt because is because of him that we have it. How will that stand in court? Will they override what he wishes to do?

Well, He is saying that now that he stills with me (plan A still) but I am not sure if we get to plan B and he moves with OW what will she get into his mind/brain.

love of a lifetime...
Sorry to hear you are in the same boat. You have to be married 19-21 yearts to get alimony. I've been married almost 15...so all I get is rehabilitative alimony if I want to go back to school. Also....Florida is a no-fault state which basically means you won't get much. My STBX is telling me that he will give me all the proceeds from the house....my lawyer said he can do that. Also if you want to leave the state you will have to have his permission. Really sucks!!!!!
Good luck to you and hang in there.

believer....
thank you. I know I will find someone special. I don't want my H back. I've definitely decided on that. I could never live with him after everything that I have found out. Everyday I find out something new. It's awful. He will get what he deserves one day and I will get what I deserve.....LOVE!