Hi MB friends,
Just wanted to say hello to all of you. I couldn't have survived the nightmare of the ending of the affair I had, my divorce, and longing for my husband without your help.
As you may know, we are now remarried. It's already been nine months of remarriage. We lived apart for almost 3 1/2 years.
To those of you who are new here, keep coming! These principles work. They worked in our case. I basically Plan A'd my husband AFTER our divorce, and I was the one who had an A. It took 15 months of Plan A-ing, but finally we did reconcile and things have been going wonderfully. Our marriage is better than ever.
I 'forgot' the 'anniversary' of the date of our final divorce when it came in August. It's out of my mind. The date of our first marriage and remarriage (more importantly now) are what stay in my mind.
When I think back to the time the A started, I feel sick inside. It was the BIGGEST mistake of my life. Somewhere on the site today I read a quote where someone said the WS always 'longs' for the OP. That certainly isn't true for everyone. Fortunately the OP lives far away, and I'll never run into him anywhere. I view him as a pathetic, manipulative man.
Once in a while I do have nightmares about losing my husband again. I do realize though it's just my brain coping with all the trauma I caused. When he and I were first remarried I was quite insecure compared to now, especially since he'd established his own identity at his place of business as a single man. Some of the ladies there liked to use pet names with him. Thankfully, he told them that now he wasn't single so that would have to stop. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> (Most of the women stopped on their own!) Some of them would send emails to his account, but that has stopped too and we now share an address.
I'll never take him or my family for granted again. I truly look forward to life now with him by my side. As the holidays approach I'm especially excited to be a family again.
There is hope! All things are possible if even just one of you is willing. Give it time, and the other person may be willing, too.
MY Question is: If you were in our shoes, would you celebrate the first anniversary, or the second one. At first I thought we should celebrate the first one, but now I'm wondering if it's better to celebrate the new marriage. What do you thinK? Thanks.
Take care,
HP
Married in 1981, 3 children
A began in 1998, I was the WS
Separated 2000
H filed for D in 2001
D final in 2002
Remarried in 2004
<small>[ October 05, 2004, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: hopeful_person ]</small>
