Believer, I have no marriage as long as she is with OM. So yes it is good what I am doing for me and her. She has never had to really face the consequences of her actions. I have always been her safety net. I guess OM will fill that role now because I won't. I won't support her emotionally or financially now. She is on her own. Or as she calls it "freedom bound".

Hopeful -

Yep, she is freedom bound. So now you must take care of you. Just paint her out of the picture for now. And by the way, you are up very late. Might be time to go to bed.

Just got a phone call from OM's wife. He is still living at home and according to her trying to be a good dad to their son. OM's wife knows that he sent my wife money. I know he also bought my wife a cell phone and paid her late bill. OM's wife told me that she told him that if he ever cheats on her again she would not forgive him. Which means I will divorce you in a New York minute. I also overheard my wife on the phone yesterday tell someone that she is moving to OM's state.
I can't stop it on OM and my wife can stop it. I am ready to be out of this mess. Just go and leave me alone.

Good job, hopeful, did you change the locks?

Guess who is not here. My wife did not show up at the house today. And OM phone number is not on my call ID. Thank goodness. Well looks like she finally got the message that she can't disrespect me in my own home. So I am going to change the locks now I will check back later.

Good for you, hopeful. Maybe she has finally figured it out. So now it is time to work on you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hopefulinnc:
<strong> Guess who is not here. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">bwahahahaaaa! I got a kick out that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

hinc:

"OM's wife told me that she told him that if he ever cheats on her again she would not forgive him. Which means I will divorce you in a New York minute."

Does she realize he is cheating on her now?

"I also overheard my wife on the phone yesterday tell someone that she is moving to OM's state."

Did you pass this information on 2 the OMW?

-ol' 2long

2long-yes i did pass along the information to OM's wife. I also noticed that OM's wife tried to call my wife today at home. I think I will give her my wife's cell phone number or better yet maybe OM could give it to her.

Welll as I was changing the locks in walks my wife. Says I have to change clothes. She looked haggard and down. She went to the bedroom to change as puttered with the locks. She said I see your changing locks. I said yep. She then asked if she could come into the house to pack. I said sure. When do you want to pack? She said Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. I said OK.
I asked if she was buying her sister's car. She said no. The car is expensive to repair and I don't want to deal with my sister. I said OK
I was cool, calm and detached during the whole encounter. I didn't offer her anything nor did I LB. So I am going to settle down now and watch a little college football on TV. Thanks everyone for your support during this trying time.

hinc:

By all means give the OMW your W's cell phone number <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

She's paying for it after all.

-ol' 2long

Actually, I found out today when I checked nybank balance that I paid for the phone for cheat with. She violated a part of the separation agreement. But I think I will let it pass as long as she stays out. Now it's OM's turn to meet all her needs. I think I will close the joint account tomorrow.

HINC,

There is no need for the joint account so closing it makes sense. So who do you root for in football? Can't be Duke right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I think as you calm down many things will go through your mind, but I suspect without her in your face with OM it will help alot. Just a word to consider. If there are little things that you value and don't want "lost" to another state, you might want to take care of that before Monday. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

God Bless,

JL

Well hopeful, she is a little late on the Oct. 3 date for departure. I still doubt that she will leave. It will cause too many problems for OM at home.

Hope you will relax and rest up for the next chapter in this saga. I'm glad you changed the locks in your home.

Did you give her a Plan B letter yet?

JL-I am an Auburn tiger during football season and a Dukie during basketball season. So right now my teams look pretty good, keeping my fingers crossed.

I am starting to feel sorry for my wife. She has lost everything to be with OM and he hasn't even made a move to leave his wife. She has walked the plank. By her own choosing. I am beginning to as she said have a physchological shift. I know I don't want her back as long as she is talking with OM. So I'm gonna play some golf this afternoon and hopefully get up a game for the weekend. The appraiser said yesterday-no problem getting the money I need to refinance.

Here is my Plan B letter. I appreciate any and all critiques.

Dear Dearest WW October 8, 2004


I could never have imagined being where we are right now with you involved in a relationship with another man. I am heart broken and sad beyond belief, especially knowing that I helped create an environment in which you chose to have an affair rather than work together on our marriage. I am truly sorry for neglecting all that you needed to make our marriage flourish. I am truly convinced that we have what it takes to make an incredible life together filled with love, affection, and joy.

Your continued affair with OM hurts me very deeply and I feel it eroding the remaining love I have for you. When I see you or talk with you, knowing you are with him at least in your mind right now it fills me with too much pain. To preserve the love I have for you, I must insist that we have no contact with each other. Your sister L has agreed to act as an intermediary. Any and all communication with me needs to go through her. Please do not call me, email me, or come to the house.

I will not try to keep our children from you nor will I engage in any character defamation about you to them. You are free of course to contact them whenever you choose. Don’t cut yourself off from our children. They love their Mother and need to see and hear from you as often as possible. I’m sure DD, DS1 and DS2 will miss you as will I. I am certain that contact with OM does not serve the best interest of our children. Let’s protect our children as much as we can.

I want us to be able to rebuild our marriage some day. I want us to be able to meet each other’s emotion needs and avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We need to build a lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend.

I loved you when we married and I continue to love you right up to this day. When and if you end your affair with OM, then we can discuss our future together and work on our marriage. But, I will need to know that you are committed to our marriage and the reunion of our family and that OM is no longer part of your life.

With all my love,


Me

I have taken parts from differnt letters to come up with this one. Tell me what you think.

That is a picture perfect letter, hinc. It is short, sweet, not too mushy and puts the point across nicely. Excellent job!

HINC,

I like it. It is short, it is to the point, and it does offer the olive branch. Nicely done.

JL

HINC
The only thing I would leave out is the comments about what she should do with the kids. It's a DJ. I know you didn't mean it like that, but it sounds like you are telling her what to do. I would also leave out how the kids will feel. She knows this, but chooses to put her A above the kids. Yes, this sucks, but I wouldn't point it out to her. It will piss her off. That's a no-no whatever Plan you are in.

Otherwise, I like it a lot!

The letter looks pretty good.

WAID,
The only thing I would leave out is the comments about what she should do with the kids

Actually, I recommend you make the following portion stronger.
I am certain that contact with OM does not serve the best interest of our children. Let’s protect our children as much as we can.
You might not think that but she might think it's "good/okay" for them to see him.
Make it very, very, very clear what you expect.

I suggest you change it to "I am certain that contact with OM does not serve the best interest of our children, therefore please do not bring the children around the om at any time."

I would make sure the letter states exactly what must be done for her to return to the home and work on the marriage. I'm not sure what those things are for you. However it should be made clear a no contact letter will be written, I'm thinking you would want mc for the two of you.

They should be in there clear as day.