Well we (me and W) had a major breakthrough the other night with the help of my MIL. She sat us down and put everything out on the table. She pretty much said, "You two are miserable. Now stop it! You both have done some stupid stuff and are both at fault. (She means wife's relationship with OM and my acting the way a BS acts). Do you know that either one of you could die tomorrow?" She also did a wonderful thing and shared with us how happy we were when we went to the prom and when we got married and how apparent it was that we were really in love. She also said we need to put this aside for our kids, because they don't deserve it. They weren't asked to be born. I totally respect my MIL. She is a wonderful person.

My wife has also said I don't help her with the kids and things around the house. I don't think this is true, because I actually do a lot. For example, we share laundry duty (I admit she does more than I), kitchen duty, dinner duty, bath/bedtime duty, I pack lunches in the morning and get everthing ready to get out the door, while W gets ready for work. I mow the lawn, rake the leaves, take out the trash, pay the bills, drop off one son at pre-school, and all car care. There is a ton more, but I won't get into all the details. These are more things than my father or my W father ever did. MIL said to my W, you can't wait around for H to do things, you need to make sure your kids are happy and healthy. Just get it done.

It really set things straight and got W thinking. That 1 hour session was more beneficial than the months of MC we have attended. To boot, it was free <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> We'll see how things progress.

- Just_Friends_NOT

<small>[ October 06, 2004, 08:49 AM: Message edited by: Just_Friends_NOT ]</small>

Wow JFN, that's great news. Your MIL sounds like a lovely lady. I like how she brought you back to happier times. (the Prom!) One thing about having a house, kids ect. to care for on top of work is that we forget to spend fun time together. Here's a good article on how to maximize fun time with our spouses. Life IS short, enjoy your wife, enjoy your life! I'm glad to hear that things are taking a turn for the better. Thanks for sharing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> KB

WW went to MC last night for a private session. She came home in a pretty good mood. She actually brought me a little pint of my favorite ice cream. She hasn't done something like this in a long time. It felt really good.

Even though this is such a small thing, I think it was a big step forward for her.

In a prior individual MC session, the MC asked her if she has ever done anything sweet for me. This comment from the MC was based on my feedback to MC during my individual sessions. My WW told me this and was waiting for a response from me and I didn't answer, because I couldn't remember any specific event. I think this got her thinking.

Just_Friends_NOT

WW went to MC last night for a private session. She came home in a pretty good mood. She actually brought me a little pint of my favorite ice cream. She hasn't done something like this in a long time. It felt really good.

Even though this is such a small thing, I think it was a big step forward for her.

In a prior individual MC session, the MC asked her if she has ever done anything sweet for me. This comment from the MC was based on my feedback to MC during my individual sessions. My WW told me this and was waiting for a response from me and I didn't answer, because I couldn't remember any specific event. I think this got her thinking.

Just_Friends_NOT

JFN,

What a great story and what a great MIL. I'm so jealous! When D day happened I was positive my IL's would do something like this with my WW and me, but I got zilch from them.

It turns out that FIL was busy with a couple mistresses himself and MIL is always on the verge of a mental breakdown. I know in general it is better to keep family out of the loop(other than exposure)but your MIL showed she understood her role as a parent and not just an enabler for whatever actions her daughter took.