I see signs of an EA occuring in my husband's behavior with one of my friends (who, by the way, I no longer consider my friend).

Here's what going on...I appreciate ANY feedback and input...I'm at a loss...

Some know a bit about my situation. But this is the latest...

I had a friend, G, who went through a lot last year with her H. He'd had multiple A's and the last one was the last straw for her. She is now divorcing her H. During that time, I was there for her. We became very close. We used to work together. But since I've moved on to a different school (I'm a teacher) and my H still works in the same school corp. as a mechanic.

G and my H know each other through me. When she'd come over, we'd hang out, but it was mostly G and I hanging out. My H worked on her car once for her. And they'd see each other now and then at school, but now it's going further.

In the past 4 days, G has asked my H out for drinks (he went), invited him to move in with her when our house sells, invited him to a party, and he was over at her house last night. I addressed this issue with her and asked her what was going on. I don't think anything physical is going on. But, she is pursuing him emotionally. She immediate took the offense and said that I was accusing her. I didn't I just asked what was going on. When I called her back last night (after I thought he'd left), she had HIM answer the phone to tell me she didn't want to talk to me b/c I accused her. I asked her to STEP OFF and think I'll go right to plan B on this one...not have anything to do with either one of them.

Hi,

My husband had a revenge affair against me. He could not forgive me. His affair was almost a year ago. Mine was over a year ago. I guess I deserved it, but I did not deserve him to not use protection and have a baby by OW. I found MB in May started useing Plan A. I am now entering Plan B because he is still in contact and even spent night at OW's house. I learned to set boundaries. I cannot give advise since it is so fresh. I mean if you can do Plan A for a bit, it would be good. I would confront him and tell him what your boundaries are so he knows. Maybe that will help without accusing him of anything.

HOLD ON....

You never expressed your concerns to your H and asked him to BACK OFF. He's the one who married you.

During the affair, my H told me, "She's calling me, and it would be rude of me to hang up." You know what? The issue wasn't whether he was having an affair or not. The issue underlying an affair is whether your spouse is showing more care for another woman than for you.

Go to him, tell him your concerns, and ask him to cool it because you feel threatened. If he doesn't, then he's having an affair -- EA or PA, it doesn't matter.

Cherished

Cherished and Genia-
Thank you for responding...i appreciate it.

Genia--so sorry to hear about this unfortunate repercussion from A. Stick with plan B...stay strong.

Cherished--Correction- I asked HER to back off, not my H. I'd never tell him that...he isn't the one calling her and inviting her over to hang out.

I did take your advice, Cherished, I contacted him, asked him if I could speak to him about situation with friend b/c I feel it requires immediate attention. He agreed.

I told him how I felt about her constant contacting him. Despite her intentions (whether good or bad, conscious or not), she's overstepped. Guess I won't to Plan B...will do Plan A as I have been. I just told him that I just wanted to discuss this with him and that I'd continue to NOT contact him as he wishes. Am trying to stay away from biting back when am bitten with words.

So...we'll see...this is in God's hands.

rae