I'm really looking for some more input on my situation. I'm a newbie Plan A'er.....

I've been posting on Just Found Out, but it doesn't seem real busy there. Star*fish suggested I link or move over here. I'm trying to do both.....

Here's a link.?

more of my original posting info

bump.
Seeking advise......

freshpain,
I've read up on your story through your link...thank you..that helps so much.

I understand your reluctance with exposure...and let me just tell you...we find that more often or not..concerns from the BS about exposure.

The reality is the BS has cornered themselves into a position that they think EXPOSURE...will destroy ANY chances of having the WS stay in the M.

This can NOT be any further from the truth. I'm hoping some older members will jump in and give their experiences with exposure...how things did or didn't progress until exposure was completed. Many BS stand firmly on not exposing...only to have this come back and bite them.

It's not about doing damage...it's about saving your M. How are you going to save your M if your W continues to see OM ? Is he M ? Tell his W...tell everyone...expose...... READ SAA....it says simply...many affairs fade quickly once they are exposed to the light of day.

Your W will be angry...but lets face it...it's step ONE. How are you going to do an effective Plan A if you ignore the first crucial step ?

Plan A isn't about negotiating with your W...she's a fogbound alien right now....common sense has left the building...Plan A is about YOUR actions..consistency...it's a PLAN...follow it...stick with it....read Bob Pure's thread....he is a fantastic Plan A'er !

Consider anti-depressants...to get through the day easier. But stop thinking emotionally...start thinking logically.

Your story also reminds me of a thread started by Pepperband...about what women love about men...and that's their ability to be strong..set boundaries.

Set your foot down...firmly...decide for YOURSELF...that you want to give your M a fighting chance...this decision is yours alone. Make it with conviction...the ups and downs are on the way...make sure you're standing on firm ground.

Betrayedinjersey,
Thanks for for inputs….

I have been reading up on some of the links on exposure.
Lots of different points of views here.

I’m not necessarily against exposure, but it has to be to someone who could help, someone that she might listen to. I just don’t see a lot of options here:

OM is divorced. No spouse to help.
In my mind, our children are off-limits. I would be causing them pain.
ILs would have absolutely no influence.
Her closest friends, she has recruited as accomplices.

Thanks, I’ll keep posting……..

<small>[ October 09, 2004, 10:02 PM: Message edited by: freshpain ]</small>

Bump....
Seems that most responses are coming on my original thread that I have a linkto at the top of this thread. It could be because it is easier....

Looking forward to more inputs!!
FP

Bump....
Seems that most responses are coming on my original thread that I have a linkto at the top of this thread. It could be because it is easier....

Looking forward to more inputs!!
FP