Wat, I love your imagery of exposure being like concentric circles. I'd like to create a model to represent that. Let me ask you if this sounds right. At the center is the WS....they are the first to be told what you know and how you know it. Just outside of that circle is the other BS (if there is one). Together...they are the first line of defense against no contact. If contact ends....exposure goes no farther. If contact continues after it has been revealed to them....close family (parents, siblings on both sides) plus a trusted pastor or priest... are the next circle. If contact ends...it goes no further. If contact resumes, close friends/neighbors who are also friends of the marriage would be informed. If contact still continues....the last circle are work and church.

Please share your thoughts with me on this. Thank you so much for this image.

You got it, Babe.

But I cannot take credit for that imagery. Another poster here first stated that analogy, at least first to me. Wish I could remember who it was.

The logic is intuitive, huh? Expose closest to the "center" of the affair and work your way outward through individuals with decreasing levels of influence on the WS until the affair ends or you run out of recipients. All the time mindful that the purpose of exposure is to remove the secrecy and create discomfort for the WS to continue the behavior - which they know inside to be "objectionable" to most others, especially those closest to them.

Of couse, another "circle" exists around the affair partner, requiring separate, but parallel exposures.

WAT

Excellent analogy! This is just the way I like to think about things. And it is also just how my situation is working out. What a great tool to explain exposure.

C.