I'm new here - not sure if I know all the abbreviations. I've been married many years and recently ended a 2 year affair with someone from my past. It was not a good ending and I'm devastated. My husband doesn't know and I don't know if I'll ever tell him. This was more of an emotional affair than anything else - there was adultery, but not much - it was more emotional. I was very attached to him, and don't know how to get over it. I'm open to any advice.

Welcome to MB.

I'd like to suggest you read everything on this website [if you haven't done so already] as well as Dr Willard Harley Jr's books 'Surviving An Affair', 'His Needs Her Needs' and 'Love Busters'.

There are some wonderful people here that are FWW [former wayward wives] and they can help you with what you are going through at this moment. Some of them are FinallyLearning, KiwiJ and sadfww to name a few. Seek them out and they will share with you their experiences and make you realize that you are not alone.

Hi Pup,

Welcome. TMCM is right. There are some great people who give great advice. I'm relatively new, but have been using this forum quite frequently. I really don't know how I'd get through some stuff I don't know how to handle without the support of these people. The good thing is that they don't know you...they're objective, more or less. It's not as though you're getting advice from your family or your friends or people who have relationships with you or your H. Advice from pariality isn't necessarily gonna be the best...and that's speaking from experience.

I'm a FWW myself. My H found out 4 wks. ago this Sat. It's been really really tough. Like you, I had A with someone from my past. It was only a one time thing, but the damage has been done.

MY H found out b/c my ex called him in the middle of the night, if you can believe that move. Terrible way to find out your W cheated on you.

If you're experiencing what I did for the month after the A and b4 my H found out, you're ridden with guilt. You're so afraid to tell your H b/c of the consequences that may follow. You're confused, lonely...to name a few of the numerous emotions you're feeling right now.

As tough as this might be to read, my advice it to tell your H. It's the right thing to do. Period. I never had to b/c my ex beat me to the punch, but I was so afraid to...I didn't want to hurt him, first of all. But I didn't want him to leave me either. But honesty in a relationship is the first step to moving on. That's my advice.

Right now we're separated. As it's only been a month, I see some slight signs of progress. Obviously not as much as I'd like, but I've got to be patient.

But back to your situation. The sooner you come clean, the sooner the recovery can/may begin. Just a warning if you do tell him. If he's anything like my H, he may very well mention divorce initially...that's a natural reaction. But gently ask him to think about working things out at some point...when HE is ready. If that's what you want also, obviously.

Hey---it's difficult...it's terrifying, and it's aweful. But be strong. People are here to support you...I am here to support you. Anytime I can help...I'm here.

Stay in touch...we're hear to help. 2Scared is a FWH...he has helped me a great deal.

Rae