Ok,
When my WW started seeing psychiatrist, I gave Dr. info about her. WW found out about that and is now saying I invaded her privacy......mainly because she did not want Dr. to know certain things about the problems she is having. So was this a mistake?

Hoping,

IMHO, I don't think it's EVER wrong to fight for your M... in your case, it is essential that your W get help for her BP disorder.

So in my mind, I see your actions as part of the ongoing battle for your M. Your W will eventually "get over" her anger...

Semper Fi,
RIF

Thanks Rif,
I wish she saw it that way

Why would she not want the doctor to know certain things about her? That is a very telling statement. In order for the doctor to help her he needs to know the entire situation. I personally think you did the right thing.

HTF, is your wife bipolar? Just asking because my WH is and isn't on meds. Everyone who cares about H is praying he'll go on meds soon, but he's avoided taking them since being diagnosed 8 years ago. True, he has managed, but he slips up frequently and things get out of control. Like right now. H believes he's found his soulmate, and it's not me. The problem with BP is that it's like an underlying fog that's always there, and the A fog has just settled on top of it. He's always been out there searching for the greatest love of all... I tend to think it's sitting here in this dark bedroom typing on a computer at the moment, but that's just my personal opinion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

And as for your W wanting to keep things from her psychiatrist, that's typical BP talk. It doesn't make any sense to anyone other than the BP person. She'll be mad about it, I can assure you, but let it go. Just be glad that she's actually seeing a psychiatrist... Without meds, there's no way to save a marriage with a BP person, and that's a very scary realization for me because H is not on meds and therefore is continuing a lot of very hurtful, very destructive behavior.

Thanks everyone,
I guess it just ouright scares me now whenever she WW gets mad or upset with me, because it seems like all I can ever do is pull more LB with her. I don't do any of the things that are listed on the site, but no matter what I do, or don't do, I can't seem to get anywhere. I guess I will just have to be patient and ride this out....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hopingtofix:
<strong> Thanks everyone,
I guess it just ouright scares me now whenever she WW gets mad or upset with me, because it seems like all I can ever do is pull more LB with her. I don't do any of the things that are listed on the site, but no matter what I do, or don't do, I can't seem to get anywhere. I guess I will just have to be patient and ride this out.... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Realize that your W w/b mad at your no matter what you do. With that piece of vital info already in your back pocket, you will be better supported to go do what you feel you need t/d. When she heaps the guilt on you, let her know that her anger can't seem to differientate between good things and bad so you will just have to trust your own instincts instead of her. Then let her know that you feel bad she can't tell the difference and hope one day she can. Then leave her to mope all by herself.

You will have just disarmed her anger tool. She now knows that when she gets angry it will not have the same scare tactic effect on you. Will have difused her anger button and regained your santity. You will have also shown her that you wish she could improve but that it is in her ability to do so.

Don't feel guilty, just be safe and do not abuse this tool.

take care,
L.

Thanks O,

That helps out alot. I will try it next time I talk to her if she brings it up!