My heart is in a blender. One day he wants to come home to me, the next day he doesnt know. One day he loves her, one day he knows it wont work with them. One day he says he chooses me, the next day he is unsure. How much of this can I take? How much longer can I keep telling him how much I love him and want to work out our marriage? That I feel it would be God's will to do so? How long do I have to hear that he is in love with her but still has some feelings for me? Complicate all this with 8,000 miles between us and you have my life this week.

I guess I need to step back, put my focus back on God not on WH, and pray a lot more. I just feel like I cannot compete with what she is offering him. New life, more fun, not the same old stuff....soul mate, love, romance... How can a stay at home wife and mom compete with that?

Life pretty much sucks today. Sorry, I just had to vent a little. No need to reply. We all feel this way at times. Thanks for letting me spill.

K

Hi KatieGirl34 - There are others hear that will give better advice that I can so I will refrain. I would just like to offer you some encouragement and to say that I'd love a stay at home mum as my wife, especially one that loved me, was a good mum and was faithful. Don't put yourself down. WH will eventually realise what he is giving up for the superficial life. If he doesn't appreciate you, someone else will. I am in same boat at present, wife loves me, doesn't love me, is seeing OM cheating (but telling me she isn't). I can understand why you are tired of being on this roundabout. What has helped me is lots of posting and my friends (online friends included). I wouldn't have gotten this far without them. Keep focused on the positive and if prayer helps you then all the better. Stay strong and a big HUG (((((((((HUG))))))))

<small>[ October 07, 2004, 07:17 PM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>

Amen sister. I'm not religious in the least, but in the last week I've found a lot of comfort in praying, finding a lot of those "what if's" answered either by myself or by a higher power. I completely feel ya on the big question of whether we can compete with the newness and the wonder of "true love" (which is how my WH describes being with OW, anyway). I don't know how to answer that except to say that we have to keep pushing forward and make ourselves "new" and "exciting". Somehow.

At least we are not going through this alone, right? We have everyone here on MB giving us the support we need.

Take care of yourself. You're the only one who matters right now. Remember that.

Thanks for the encouragement to know that I am not alone in my thoughts. I hate that we are all here, brothers and sisters in this pain that "they" call love. But it is a love/hate relationship. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Much like my marriage at this point. ha!

Maybe they will get a clue. Maybe they wont. Maybe by that time I wont care......

K