I been in plan A I guess since I decided to stay .

H had infedelities, I found out August 11th after OC was born August 3rd.

My H says it was a poor choice, no he has to live with it as well as put me and our kids through it.

I'm creating plan A as much as possible. WE talk daily though he chooses to stay at his brothers. He 's in counseling, to learn how to stop lying etc. We are still intimate. He's always said that was never an issue. I just don't understand.

I keep asking when he's coming home. H says soon. He hasn't gotten the paternity test done, says soon. The OC is having surgery on the 29th, but he has had no contact other then letting him know of the surgery.

I asked if he plans on being there, he says probably not , not sure. All this is starting to anger me. Is this normal.

i picked a fight more or less, was extremly sarcastic this evening. Now his mad. Say do what I need to do. I'm just tired of playing mother, father to our children and then going to school full time. it's all taking a toll on me.

I feel as I'm being taken for granted. Why should he come home. He has me when he wants me. He doesn't have to deal with the day to day with the kids. I'ts getting old.

Any advice?

Lori

Lori - I'm sorry you are hear. You're right Plan A does get to be too much some days and that's when you need to take a break. Even though you and WH are having problems he is still a father. Tell him he needs to step up and start to take responsibility for them. Just because he moved out does not mean he can walk away from his fatherly responsibilities. Set your boundaries. If he can't be a father to his children on a regular basis, then something will have to change. Next time he comes over, go out and leave him with the kids.

Physically sick today. Cried all the way home from school. puked when I got there. I feel so lonely and deserted.

Last Night H said he was sick of being pushed about when he was coming home to stay. He trys to come home daily yet doesn't always. Usually to have sex, then take youngest kids to school since I have classes early in the city .

I still don't feel this is enough. i'm there 24/7. I don't feel stonge enough to take care of myself much less all 4 of them.

I've mentioned to him that if he plans to do this for awhile that maybe we should make arrangements with the kids so that I can have a break. He doesn't understand since I don't work and it's my job too. He works all the time, so he feels since he must support us financially that he doing his part.

He doens't even have a place for them to go for a day or so. He stays at brothers , or friends but never in one place.

I don't have anywhere else to go....what do I do I feel as if I'm going to go insane. Though he says he's going to be back soon, but doesn't know why it's not the right time. I don't understand this. The holiday's are coming and I don't want to be part of any of it. i just want to curl up and go to bed.

any advice...yes I'm on antidepressents/anxiety med

Lori

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by loriharris:
<strong>

He hasn't gotten the paternity test done, says soon.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lori - this confuses me. He has to take a paternity test for what? Is his OW pregnant? Or are you unsure who is the father of your OC?

Please answer, this one caught me off guard.

Other women had a son August 3rd. I found out after my H guilt August 11th. The child supposbly looks like our first born whom is 14 now.
I have never seen him...in fact my H won't let me says I'm not ready. He does not contact either since she only calls to update medical condition. has heart defect and other things. Child is having heart surgery Oct 29.

Ow planned a pregnacy to trap my H. She knew he was married and had children . She 29 said she was a virgin, never had children stc. This was the only way she knew to get H to get involved emotionally. he was there only for sex twice.

Lori

I am going on a break. I've been emotionally upset all day. Let my little ones see me break down, and have made myself physically sick.

I am not going to contact, call or ask a thing this weekend. I'm tired, and drained.

Does everyone reach a point like this. My H made me feel guilty for hurting so much and showing my pain today?

lori

Today I made it through. i didn't call, i didn't contact H at all. In fact he called me this evening to see what I was doing for a change.

Just told him playing with the kids. He also called after dropping money off for our older children whom were going to see SwitchFoot in concert. Just wanted to tell me the living room and bathroom looked great. I just said THank YOU!

I didn't proceed to talk about anything. It's lonely but it actually felt kind of good to just take a break from it all.

Just an update....My hormones are still way out of whack....still feel like crying but I made it...now to a new day tomorrow!

Lori