Sorry for the namechanges (mllc, tolduso). This is my original name & I'm going to stick w/ it. Today is Day 4 of no contact. Last night I went to bed thinking "everything's going to be all right." I was thinking of ways I was going to work on my M & almost excited about it. This morning I woke up missing OM like crazy & wanting to talk to him more than ever! I know I shouldn't & I haven't. I'm going out w/ old friends for a while, so that should help...Please pray for me!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mell:
<strong> Sorry for the namechanges (mllc, tolduso). This is my original name & I'm going to stick w/ it. Today is Day 4 of no contact. Last night I went to bed thinking "everything's going to be all right." I was thinking of ways I was going to work on my M & almost excited about it. This morning I woke up missing OM like crazy & wanting to talk to him more than ever! I know I shouldn't & I haven't. I'm going out w/ old friends for a while, so that should help...Please pray for me! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">distract yourself as much as possible. You are in withdrawal- but you WILL get through it...and it will get easier as time passes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Keep yourself busy- and if you get the urge to pick up the phone, post here, call a friend- just DO something else!

Take it minute by minute. Say to yourself, "I got through the last five minutes, let's see if I can do it again."

Call your husband

Call kids, friends

Exercise, take a walk in a park

Shop or eat chocolate, the cure of everything!!!

Following all suggestions & doing well. Still having difficulty, but making it through. Thanks for all the encouragement. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Following all suggestions & doing well. Still having difficulty, but making it through. Thanks for all the encouragement. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Following all suggestions & doing well. Still having difficulty, but making it through. Thanks for all the encouragement. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

How ya doing now Mell? The day is winding down and soon you will be able to rest. You did good today, keep it up.

Mell,
This is silly but maybe it will help....

When I quit smoking someone told me to think like this - If you have that cigarette the craving will be gone when your done (about 5 minutes) if you don't have the cigarette and put your mind on something else the craving will pass in about 5 minutes. Either way it's gone in 5 minutes. It worked for me.

Your OP is just an addiction, like a cigarette. Put your mind elsewhere and the craving will pass. We are ALL routing for you Mell, you can do this!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, again, for the encouragement. I am such a weaker person than I ever realized...It seems like any encouraging word helps.

I had made many attempts at nc w/ people looking over my shoulder (justifiable) the whole time & failed. Now, I have nobody "watching" me & I haven't contacted him once...My only point is that there is a change in me, a determination I guess, that wasn't there before.

Are there any WS's out there that have a religious background? I know it's really late & I might post this again tomorrow afternoon. If you're out there, I'd like to know how your relationship w/ God was effected before, during, & after by the A. Thank you.

Mell - Keep up the good work, it's obvious you've began the road to get back to where you can find true love, joy, peace.

My W is the WS and we are both committed Christians. Seems odd doesn't it? W is having an internet EA and it's tearing apart our marriage, relationship, trust, etc.

It's so sad to see how my once beautiful, Godly wife is changing right before my eyes. I'm doing everything I know how to do to rescue here, but apparently the OM has a stronger attraction on her that I do.

I love her so much.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Are there any WS's out there that have a religious background? I know it's really late & I might post this again tomorrow afternoon. If you're out there, I'd like to know how your relationship w/ God was effected before, during, & after by the A. Thank you.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will get back to you on this. It is a very emotional subject for myself and I don't have much time, and I don't want to be a wreck today, my boy's b-day party is today and I want to be up, but I will get back to this Q.

Just wanted to encourage you to cont. NC. If you fail, you mostly fail yourself and to fail ones self is very damaging to the soul. Keep this up for your benefit as well as for the love and respect of your S.

Don't lose sight of the big picture and the damage even one phone call will bring.

It isn't the OP you are so drawn to, it is the feelings you feel when contacting him. He could be Daffy Duck, and you would still be getting this high from him. If you wait it out, you will see this, and there will be no fog around you to tell your brain, NO HE IS MY SOULMATE!!!

It is all crap, this fog, damaging CRAP!!!!

Hugs to you, KY

Mell,
what KY says is so true! it's the feelings you get high from...having nc is something i've been working on---eveyday i think about om. it does get alittle easier eveyday, but..withdrawal sucks. you are addicted to the high you get when you see om. i'm NO expert, i take it one day at a time. i'm new here, too. keep reading...it really helps to come here when you're freaking out inside! if i can do it, you can do it!!

Hey Mel, yes - I am a Christian. My faith hasn't changed; in fact, I am more dependent on the Lord than ever before. He has helped me through the most difficult time in my life.

I know He has forgiven me but I still wonder if I am the exception, ya know. It's horribly self-centered but at times I can't help it. Especially when some fogginess (sp?) sets in. I picture Him saying, "Oh great, here we go again with her." I have to keep reminding myself that it isn't like that. I am indeed forgiven.

Today was Day 5 of nc. Our record is 6 days, so one more day to go to break the record...I don't mean to be whining all the time, but so far, it has not gotten easier every day. It seems to get harder everyday. Today has been the worst yet.

I spent all day at a place that I had spent a lot of time w/ OM & I had too much time to think while I was there...I was tempted more than ever to contact him, but didn't. I kept telling myself what someone posted about just making it another 5 mins & it helped. Later, I cried & cried to a close friend & that made me feel better.

I think it's going to get worse b/f it gets better, but Mon. will be 1 week & I hope it's easier soon after. Could anyone offer experience about that?

The reason I asked about the religious background was because b/f my A began, I was a strong Christian. Right b/f & during my A, I quenched the Holy Spirit. There were a few times that I'd stopped b/c of guilt/conviction, but I kept running back to it. This time, we stopped our relationship for practical reasons - neither one of us could actually go through w/ a divorce. Now that my A is over, I'm attempting to grow close to Christ again. My heart seems so empty spiritually, though! If at all possible, I'd love to find out details of how your relationship w/ Christ "faded" b/c of the A, but esp. how you were able to rebuild that relationship after the A. Any testimonies/insight in this area would be so helpful! I'm still hoping to hear back from kyellow4, too.

I've been living on 1 hr of sleep today, so I'm going to bed. Please respond. Thanks.

Mell,

Don't feel as though you are whining. We all know you are going through a tough time. Just think though, you will have made it past your record in a couple of days, right? You should reward youself by buying a little something.

How is your husband doing? Are you in marriage counceling?

I'll talk more about the religious thing tomorrow, it's bedtime here in So. Cal. and I was a cleaning fool today so I am going to snooze, hopefully for 8 hours or so!

Mell....

It WILL get easier. I promise- please trust me. Stay STRONG- DO and I promise things will get better- chew gum and with each movement of your jaws think "I CAN DO THIS I CAN DO THIS...." Sound silly? Perhaps- but I can guarantee that it will help. You ARE in a place where you are ready for this.

As far as my walk with God? I have always been a Christian. In fact, I met my first OM (yes, I had two in a row- ack) through our church- not sure what that says about me....except that I acted in ways far from Godly. Since my A's ended (2) and I experienced heartbreak and pain beyond my previous imagining, I have grown closer to my Lord. I posted below regarding a book I have read recently that I thought made a lot of sense-that God acts in ways to *prune* us when we are off track from his plan.

You know, God loves sinners- and forgives them when they truly repent. Let your soul cry to the Lord, Mell- and weep out your heartbreak and feelings of loss. He is there...I guarantee it. His love WILL wash over you and lift you up- and you will be led in ways you perhaps can't imagine right now.

Thinking of you...keep posting.

Mell, how are you doing today??? It is day 6, correct. It will get better, the pain will turn to indifference and then dislike. There are stages, and you are in a tough one. The rest of them get so much easier. Hang on, you can do this!!!!

I'm going to start a new thread, because I don't want to take yours over. I'm confussed with my R with God.

My walk with God was strong before the A. During the A, I was still walking with him, I just stopped listening to him. Now, I'm struggling to find my way back. I don't know how to get there. I just don't seem to have the courage.

Sorry, I can't be of more help.

I have some scriptures for you. The entire book of Daniel is a good one to read.

Psalms 25,38-40, 86, 103, 130, 32
I John 1:8 & 2:2

Here is also a poem for you.

Your Kindness by Leslie Phillips

Waiting for angry words to sear my soul
Knowing I don't deserve another chance
When suddenly the kindest words I've ever heard
Come flodding through my heart!
It's your kindness that leads us to repentace, O'Lord
Knowing that you love us no matter what we do
Makes us want to love you too.

No excuse, no one to blame, no where to hide.
The eyes of God have found my failures, found my pain.
He understands my weaknesses and knows my shame, but his love never leaves me.
It's your kindness that leads us to repentance, O'Lord....

KY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Tomorrow will beat our record.

I have been crying more the last couple days & that seems to help.

You ask how my H is doing. It hasn't mattered how rotten I've been to him, he has been patient, kind, & very loving. He is in Puerto Rico for 6 months on a job while I'm in MA, so we're not having MC. I'm considering maybe doing online IC. I don't know what the near future holds for our relationship, but I'm trying to look past the next year & into having kids, etc. to be upbeat about things...

I'd write more, but I'm going to be late for the pm service. I'm keeping busy w/ friends after church, but I'll for sure look/write in here b/f bed (as always). You guys are being so helpful to me. Thank you so much!

Don't have time for much now, but I am actually in a good mood & thought I'd better write something, since most of the time I'm on here I'm gloomy...

New England is the most beautiful place in the world this time of year! It's even more beautiful b/c I know I don't deserve to have anything beautiful in my life...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I know I don't deserve to have anything beautiful in my life...
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you think this, you will feel it!!!

Change your inner dialogue. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />