</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mell:
<strong>
New England is the most beautiful place in the world this time of year! It's even more beautiful b/c I know I don't deserve to have anything beautiful in my life... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You do deserve beauty, Mell. ALL of us deserve beauty- we are all God's children and he WANTS a life of beauty and abundance for us.

Mell- thinking of you this morning. How are you doing?

Sorry it's not "this morning" anymore. How am I doing? It depends. Better than I was today. Thanks for asking.

It has officially been 1 week of nc tonight. I followed chackler's advice & went out to a fair w/ some friends today. Trying to save $, so didn't buy anything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I was so exhausted/sick from the rides that I took a short nap when I got home. Dreamed about OM & woke up very depressed. My emotions seem to be worse, but my ability to overcome them w/ "ANYTHING other than contact" is getting better (exercise, pampering body, hard work, socializing, learning about anything/everything, crying, long showers, coming in here, surfing the net, etc.).

I have a job interview tomorrow & one on Thurs, so hopefully a job will help consume thinking time. I am getting good at exhausting myself b/f bed, though, w/o an outside job...(fairs, etc. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) Have to start paying parents rent, though, so gotta find something.

I have a question for FOW/FWW's b/f I go...

B/f my A, I've always thought of myself as fairly attractive. During the A, though, the OM's W made some comments about how I'm unattractive in very specific areas to me & my H. Since, I've had an unhealthy complex about this (esp. my HUGE backside-I know that's true). Now that OM is back w/ W, I think about them talking about my body & it not only hurts, but grosses me out, too.

Anyway, I know none of you have ever seen me, so I can't ask your opinion about my looks:(, but I can ask another FOW/FWW to give some advice on how to get over this. My H insists I'm beautiful & he loves my face/body, but I feel like even if I was an extremely ugly "fat pig", he'd say that. Anytime I meet someone I haven't seen for a while, they tell me I need to start gaining some weight b/f I waste away...Still, the complex persists. Is this just another price to pay for what I did that will go away eventually as nc continues? or am I alone on this one?
I'm not making myself sick to become unhealthily skinny or anything, but I just want to get rid of my complex. I have been making a conscious effort to eat healthy, exercise, & take care of myself & my surroundings better...
I do feel like a teen on some hotline, so if you think it's too dumb to respond to, then I'll try to be fine w/ that. I can always blame all this blabber on being so tired...
I sure hate it being later here than everywhere else! Well, time for bed. Good night!

Ok, I'm really glad no one responded to that post yet. I've been thinking about it this morning & a verse came to my mind. "Marvelous are thy works & that my soul knoweth right well. I am fearfully & wonderfully made."

I can't remember it exactly & I haven't taken the time to look it up, but it basically says that God made each of us exactly the way He likes us. Man's opinion is just that - opinion. When H & I look at a girl, I say she's pretty & my H says she's ugly. The next girl it's the opposite. I have been worrying about OM's opinion is of me, but the only one that it should matter is H. Even if my H had an A & the OW was prettier, sexier, smarter, etc., I'd still be his W & he chose me. My H has a complex about some things now, too. All we can do is be our best. I don't know if it makes sense to anyone else, but it's helping me to write this. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Anway, this last week I've been concentrating on nc w/ OM. Now that I'm able to do that, I'm going to focus on building a relationship w/ Christ & my H. I'm going to try to make my posts/threads more focussed on that, too. Thanks for all your help.

Mell

My ww is in the same shoes you are. She says that she has not contacted om in teh last week. I am trying to believe her...I wish you two could talk...i think it would be helpful for both...i have told her about MB but she has not gone on site....or at least not that i know of...I told her that there are many other Fww on here that are willing to help eachother.

As you try to commit to NC is there anythign that your H is doing or not doing that can help you in the matter? Is it better that he just back off and let you work at it? Does it bother you if he asks about the status of NC? Do you want him to ask? It seems to me that if i ask ww about NC that she gets upset and she says that she has no desire to call or reach out. She says that she just wants to move on....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mell:
<strong> I can't remember it exactly & I haven't taken the time to look it up, but it basically says that God made each of us exactly the way He likes us.

I have been worrying about OM's opinion is of me, but the only one that it should matter is H. Even if my H had an A & the OW was prettier, sexier, smarter, etc., I'd still be his W & he chose me.

Anway, this last week I've been concentrating on nc w/ OM. Now that I'm able to do that, I'm going to focus on building a relationship w/ Christ & my H. I'm going to try to make my posts/threads more focussed on that, too. Thanks for all your help. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mell- you are on the right track!! I'm so glad that you had this revelation today. I think many of us FWW have (had) inferiority complexes/self-esteem issues that we try to have solved by OM.
As you know - it doesn't work.

Can you remind me- does your H know? are you in IC or MC?

Closing thought:
"I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength!" ~ Philippians 4:13

JAH,

It has helped me a lot that my H & I are not together right now. In the past his presence has been stifling, no matter what he was doing/saying.

I don't like my H to ask about it, I prefer to offer the info. I don't like discussing A w/ anyone unless I'm in the mood for it. W/ me & H, a right question asked at the wrong time is a wrong question.

Every person is different in personality, experience, & stage, though. This ordeal has brought me back to being an emotional teenager. I am just now beginning to feel like I can move on. Today is the first day I have not been depressed, but we're only 1/2 way there. This site has helped me a lot & I can't imagine it hurting your wife if you can get her on, but she has want to for it to help her.

Sadfww,

H knows everything. We are not in eiter IC or MC, but I will begin IC w/ my pastor soon, I think.

JAH,

It has helped me a lot that my H & I are not together right now. In the past his presence has been stifling, no matter what he was doing/saying.

I don't like my H to ask about it, I prefer to offer the info. I don't like discussing A w/ anyone unless I'm in the mood for it. W/ me & H, a right question asked at the wrong time is a wrong question.

Every person is different in personality, experience, & stage, though. This ordeal has brought me back to being an emotional teenager. I am just now beginning to feel like I can move on. Today is the first day I have not been depressed, but we're only 1/2 way there. This site has helped me a lot & I can't imagine it hurting your wife if you can get her on, but she has want to for it to help her.

Sadfww,

H knows everything. We are not in eiter IC or MC, but I will begin IC w/ my pastor soon, I think.

JAH,

It has helped me a lot that my H & I are not together right now. In the past his presence has been stifling, no matter what he was doing/saying.

I don't like my H to ask about it, I prefer to offer the info. I don't like discussing A w/ anyone unless I'm in the mood for it. W/ me & H, a right question asked at the wrong time is a wrong question.

Every person is different in personality, experience, & stage, though. This ordeal has brought me back to being an emotional teenager. I am just now beginning to feel like I can move on. Today is the first day I have not been depressed, but we're only 1/2 way there. This site has helped me a lot & I can't imagine it hurting your wife if you can get her on, but she has want to for it to help her.

Sadfww,

H knows everything. We are not in eiter IC or MC, but I will begin IC w/ my pastor soon, I think.

Mell

Thanks for your thoughts. Its good to get the views from both sides.

My biggest delima is that i JUST DONT KNOW. I just dont know what to believe. There have been so many lies and half truths.....I can only judge by actions and sometime they throw me off as well.

I hope for our sake that she searches MB more. I think her speaking to other fww will help her and thus help our M.