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Is It To Soon - Confused?
#1195220 10/09/04 07:05 AM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 896
L
LiftedUp
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LiftedUp
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L Offline
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 896
My h had an affair. He left me for the OW for a short time. They did not live together. He moved home to his parents .It gets much worse but I will no go into it.

We have been living together and working it out. We are seeing an MC. Everything has been great!! We both want our marriage to work. We love each other very much and beleive God will heal us and things will be better than before.

Our sex life is outstanding. What bothers me is that is it to soon for things to be so wonderful? Can I beleive that all that we are doing to make it work is really working?
Re: Is It To Soon - Confused?
#1195221 10/09/04 09:19 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
San Diego County
B
believer Offline
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believer
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B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
San Diego County
Are you working on making changes in your marriage, or just sweeping everything under the rug?
Re: Is It To Soon - Confused?
#1195222 10/09/04 09:46 AM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
Tornado alley (Ks)
S
shattered dreams Offline
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shattered dreams
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S Offline
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
Tornado alley (Ks)
Believer, as usual, nailed it.

If there's still an elephant in your living room; ie, things that haven't been resolved about A. the affair and/or, B. the state of your marriage Pre Affair, then you are skating on thin ice. This euphoria is not likely to last. The baggage from the past will re-surface.

Purchase and read Surviving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs. You will then have the proper tools to evaluate your relationship, pick out the flaws, and go to work on building a stronger R that is less likely to be vulnerable to an affair. Do not discount how much counseling may be of benefit to you as well.

Think of it as buying a warranty for your newfound happiness!

SD

<small>[ October 09, 2004, 09:49 AM: Message edited by: shattered dreams ]</small>
Re: Is It To Soon - Confused?
#1195223 10/09/04 11:02 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,193
J
john3479 Offline
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john3479
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J Offline
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,193
take it from someone who has been there done that. If you dont address the issues it will return. Dont just sweep the problems under the rug. MC will help as long as you are both honest and open. As my C told me, When we get to the point of haveing sessions togeather things will be said that hurt. Faults will be pointed out. ( Wait you mean Im not perfect?? kidding) We are not to the point of seeing the MC togeather yet because my wife is dealing with other issues at the same time, but it is doing me a world of good. As she said, if you cant tell your spouse what they are doing wrong and help them correct it being there is a waste of time.

The books SD brought up are wonderful guidebooks to help you restore your relationship.

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