Well, WH birthday is tomorrow. I have not heard from him except two times in the past week and that was by voice mail. He is living with OW in another state. He just left, was supposed to be staying with parents, but he is with her. His voice mails are short, saying he will try later, granted, he never answered my calls early in the week and my cell is always on and around me. I have only called a few times, I feel he should be doing the contact at this point. I called his parents today. They have not returned my call. THey are or were very supportive of us, not sure what is up with that. He may have told his mom not to call me, stay out of our business. I do not know.

Tomorrow is his birthday. It will be the first birthday we are not together in 8 years. I guess I will not call. In my last message a few days ago, I told him that he obviously has made his choice and we need to talk. Nothing.

I just do not understand. It is so hard when he is 12 hours away and I can not get in touch with him. He did not tell anyone that he was going. He just went. I do not know if he is planning on staying and never coming back. He still has things in the house, his personal things. He does not care about the rest of the "house" stuff.

So, should I not call for his b-day. Last year I threw a big surprise party for his 30th. It is so hard thinking how much has changed in a year..

LTM,

You have no signature line. Are you in a plan? Plan A, Plan B?

Can you give some idea of where you are in your M? If you aren't in a plan, then you need to get in one ASAP. It is kind of hard to Plan A if he is so far away.

HINY

Sorry. D-day was June 23, 2004. He immediately moved out. Stayed with a friend for one month. I exposed to her H, and OW was kicked out. Funny, he then got an apartment for one month. Then, moved to parents for two weeks. Came back here for one week. I plan A'd like a champ. He left to go back to parents, I knew ow was moving same week. 3 days later, he was not at parents and is with her. He told me the whole time he was not moving with her. but that is where he is. He has left two messages. One he was upset saying, I love you and miss you and do not know what i am doing. The other, I am not ducking you, I am ok, hope you are ok, I will try you later. Nothing since then, 3 days ago.

I have called parents and him. I just need some kind of either closure, or something.

Should I call again?

WH called this morning at 6:45. I had been up all night thinking about his b-day and last year and how things have changed. This is the first time he has called and talked to me since he went to other state with OW.

He was on his way back to his parents. He said he realized that is not what he wants. After 6months of sneaking around, seeing her after exposure, and going to another state with her, it took only 8 days to realize this.

He does not say he wants to work on us. He just said he wants me to forgive him. I want to be able to hate him. I want to not want him back. I am so afraid that if we try this again, that I will be hurt again. I guess everyone feels like this.

After so many lies, how can anyone forgive and reconcile if there is that chance. My friends will think I have gone off the deep end.