I feel like cr@p.

There. I said it. I tried writing a big long post about my feelings and whatnot, but it really just boils down to those four words. I miss H so intensely. I want someone to just smack some sense into him and say 'What the hell are you doing?! Go home to your wife, you idiot!"

And while I'm at it, I want a pony. And world peace.

SIGH.

Anyway, I should go buy "His Needs, Her Needs" at the Borders down the road. I had a great session with Steve Harley Friday morning... It was more like a conversation than a counseling session. He said I should do Plan A, even though H is not living with me. Said I should try to approach MB with H like an intellectual discussion, like "Hey, wouldn't it be great if we could learn how to keep love alive? I found this book here that says it's possible! Cool, huh?" Steve said it's a win-win situation for H... If MB doesn't work for this marriage, at least he'll have the building blocks for his next marriage. It's just about trying to figure out how to approach this subject without A) freaking H out and B) blowing my cover.

So, I need to buy the book and somehow get it into H's hands without making it look like I'm forcing him to read it under the pretense that it's going to save our marriage. Particularly since last I heard there was no hope for our marriage as far as he was concerned.

I am so sick with anxiety right now. I want to call H up and talk to him, but I'm afraid to. I'm afraid of the conversation... Particularly since he spent Thursday with OW. What if he's even more convinced of ditching our marriage? Ugh. I guess I'll never know if I don't suck it up and talk to him. Steve said the important thing was to keep in regular, if not constant, contact with him as much as possible. And that means diving in head first into these issues...

Wish me luck.

Sarahbellem,

Did u tell SH about WH's bipolar and he is not taking any medication for it ?.

I really think you should step back pushing MB on him. Let OW "deal" with his bi., take a good care of yourself and even get med. if you need it.

-rh-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sarahbellem:
<strong> I feel like cr@p.

There. I said it. I tried writing a big long post about my feelings and whatnot, but it really just boils down to those four words. I miss H so intensely. I want someone to just smack some sense into him and say 'What the hell are you doing?! Go home to your wife, you idiot!"

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">(((((Sarah)))))))

I have to tell you that I admire your style, intelligence and self-confidence. I've been reading all of your posts - and quite honestly yes your H IS A FOOL for leaving you. Can I volunteer to smack some sense into him????

Sending positive thoughts and prayers- and a sprinkling of fairy dust- for luck.