And I'm feeling pretty icky about it.

But I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I chose to send WW a blank card, and just wrote a short note in it. I mailed it Saturday, but forgot about Columbus Day, so she'll probably get it today. I guess I timed that right, huh?

Here's what I wrote:
WW,
On a day like today, it's hard not to think back to where we were just three years ago. I didn't want to let today pass as far too many days this year have. And in spite of how fractured things are between us, I thought I'd send you a quick note.

I know that this year has been challenging and difficult for you as it has been for me.....
In one way or another.

I do wish, for both of us, that things were different for us......
In one way or another.

In the past year, life has changed a lot, for both of us, I would imagine......
In one way or another.

I find solace that things won't be this way for us forever.....
In one way or another.

So, with that said, here's to wishing you the best today, and to wishing I had the opportunity to smear some cake on your face.
Best Wishes,
Ethan


I imagine I'll get some response from her, but I also imagine it will be: "How did you get my address?" (at best)

As I reflect on the past year, and my 3 years of M, it really gives me little hope about my M. I have a lot of hope for the future for me, but honestly after my 3rd anniversary with our 3rd OM, I'm really starting to wear down.

I certainly was not prepared for the amount of stress that this week would add.....

<small>[ October 12, 2004, 02:31 PM: Message edited by: thefurnitureman ]</small>

I am sorry to hear you are going through this.

I share your feelings. I am in plan A which should expire soon. I was making plans for B and found out it would be right around our 3yr Anniversary mark. It is painful. I was not sure what to do with the date since there is nothing to celebrate. I was not sure to wait until after the 3rd Wedding Anniversary to go plan B or just do it before that date. I would not know what to say in such occassion. Your words inspired me to at least understand that there are things that still could be said in that situation. Good luck and hope to hear about your outcome.

((((Ethan))))

Happy Anniversary... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I'm sorry things have gone this way.

Did you ever meet her w. the "where do we go from here?" note?

Ethan,

I'm so sorry. My WH didn't contact me at all on our anniversary. A few days later I received a package from him, Nevada divorce papers (we live in NJ) with a note blaming me for the break down of our marriage. Not once blaming him or his affair. (to this day he still claims the affair had nothing to do with our marriage)

He told the person who serve me the papers not to serve me on our anniversary. How thoughtful of him.

Imagine the shock of divorce papers and finding out your WS is living thousands of miles away.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I imagine I'll get some response from her, but I also imagine it will be: "How did you get my address?" (at best)</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">From that quote, I'm taking your WS didn't tell you where she is living. My Wh did the same, he had a mail box rental in the area, that look like a real address so UPS can deliver there.

I hope you can do something for you on this day. I actually order some pizza, watched my favorite baseball team and did some major relaxing. Do something special for you...You deserve it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

fhl,

She never did get back with me after the text message.

I didn't send it to elicit a response from her. Just a fairly large day in our lives and I thought I would express my feelings about it.

The past couple weeks has really made me do a lot of reflecting on where I am, and what's transpired to this point. And it's not a pretty picture, to be quite honest.

I find myself wondering if perhaps I should just start pursuing the D, to try to get away from all this.

hd2,
WW (or MIL) had never told me an address or anything. I haven't "spoken" with WW since I moved my stuff out of our house in April. Our house was sold in May/June and she moved to the same apartment complex as OM3 then.

I know where she lives because I drive past her apartment complex on the way to work every day.

I don't know if she knows that or not.

As far as what I'm doing, I play basketball at my church every Tuesday, so at least I'll be with friends. Depending on how long I play, I may go for ice cream or something.

{{{{{{{{{Ethan}}}}}}}}}}}

Hugs from me. My thoughts and prayers are with you. But, and you already know this, God has a plan for you...when you have done everything you can do, just stand.

"1 Samuel 12:16 "Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!"

Ethan, take consoldation in knowing that you have gone above and beyond in trying to repair your marriage. I am very sorry things aren't any better on your anniversary. You're an amazing young man and I'm sure there are brighter days ahead. God Bless.

WOE

Ethan,

I ditto WOEs reply and you know it also.

I spent my anni alone last year without so much as a phone call from FWH. It was sad and hard. I cried for two days as we had never been alone on our anniversary or b-days in 10 years. Just stay amoungst friends and dont drink too much that just makes it worse.

Big hugs to you and I am so sorry you are still in this nightmare.

HINY

well i'm just now coming online after the long weekend. i only have computer access at work and i had yesterday off. all the things that i was going to say has already been said here. i could list more scriptures but just about everything in the Bible is applicable to these times we continue to go through so i'll just leave you with PRoverbs 3:5,6

i know you said that you didn't send the card to get a response but there are definitely pros and cons to getting a response. my H emailed me on our 11 yr anniv in june. i was not expected it at all and then he just went on to say he will always remember this date but it means differently to him now and we need to move on, etc. so i think sometimes it's almost best not to hear from our S on these even more special occasions, hence the beauty of plan B.

i do want to applaud you for the wonderful card, it could not have been more perfect. i think SH would really think it was well done as well and i had sent my H something similar (not saying happy anniversary specifically) and SH thought it was a good idea. my MIL/FIL anniversary was a few weeks ago and i had told myself that as long as i was still married i would still send cards, etc. but you know what? why should i send them a happy anniversary card when they don't even support my marriage. i know they don't because i haven't heard anything from them since april and that was only because i called. so i don't really feel bad about not sending anything.

ethan, i know you were waiting for the anniversary as kind of a time line and now that it's here and how you feel maybe you should decide on another one. you've been very smart through this whole thing and have acted like a gentlemen and you have given your W many opportunities to make a decision one way on another. I guess at this point i personally would be concerned with doing/going through a D around the holidays. now certainly our WS were not very considerate w/us in what they did and/are doing but it's just a thought. i still expect to get served any day regardless to whether or not it's nearing the holidays.

you are soon becoming a hero here to many Ethan and i'm very glad to see you are involved w/church and are continuing to seek God's will in all this. wish more people could do the same. continued prayers to you, RR

Thanks to all for the kind words.

Today really hasn't been that bad, all things considered.

I don't plan on drinking (not much of a drinker) and I honestly couldn't think of anywhere I'd rather be than playing basketball tonight.

I'm really fairly numb (indifferent?) to everything at this point. I'm trying hard not to let typical BS impatience cause headaches for me.

I think at this point, I'm curious to see what God has in store for me after all this is over.

Fun stuff!

Ethan

<small>[ October 12, 2004, 02:53 PM: Message edited by: thefurnitureman ]</small>

Well done, Eth. I like your message a lot.

Wait a day or two for the significance of this day to pass, and then you can start thinking about where to go next.

{{{{{{{ethan}}}}}}}

Sorry dude, I'm a "huggy" sort of feller.

GC