I have been seeing this misconception posted quite a bit lately. Although many posters do tend to use it as such, I think they are only setting themselves up for disappointment if they come to depend on the board as a support board.

This is basically a question and answer board regarding matters of infidelity and the MB concepts. The site actually suggests:

Before participating in the forum, please follow these guidelines:

If you are having difficulty resolving a marital conflict, first read Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts.

If you have a question after reading the Basic Concepts, look over the Summary of Q&A Columns to see if your question has already been asked.

If your question has not been asked in any of the Q&A Columns, or if it was not answered to your satisfaction, then we encourage you to post your question on this Marriage Builders? Forum.

This forum is open to not only those who have questions, but also to those with comments or suggestions. We recommend that all participants of the discussion forum be familiar with Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts.

When posters opt to use the board as a place to lay out details of their lives rather than ask a simple question, they should expect both positive AND critical feedback and opinion.
I think it is unreasonable to expect to receive ONLY positive feedback and "support".

Post a question, expect answers.
Post details of your situation, your actions and/or inactions, expect anything.
This way you should never be hurt or disappointed.

jmo

Actually I did notice one board that IS labeled as a "support" board.

Divorcing/Divorced
A place for support and sharing ideas.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have been seeing this misconception posted quite a bit lately. Although many posters do tend to use it as such, I think they are only setting themselves up for disappointment if they come to depend on the board as a support board.

This is basically a question and answer board regarding matters of infidelity and the MB concepts. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ba109,

This is a much needed reminder.

I sometimes fear that people are using it for "validation" too. They post here to get people to tell them that they are "right"...and to help blast their spouse. Venting posts can be counterproductive to their marriagebuilding when others jump on the bandwagon and proceed to blast their partner also.

Thank you for the reminder.

JMHO
committed

I echoe both of you!!!

This is a DISCUSSION board and not meant to be a Co-Dependancy Board!! LOL

There are sites just for that!!

Blessings,
Atruheart

p.s. EVERYone is entitled to have an opinion....and you can take it or leave it. Smart people realize that "their" opinions are NOT always right....thus "discussion boards!" wha la!

committed,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I sometimes fear that people are using it for "validation" too. They post here to get people to tell them that they are "right"...and to help blast their spouse. Venting posts can be counterproductive to their marriagebuilding when others jump on the bandwagon and proceed to blast their partner also.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have seen this also. When this happens I really think the poster has lost site of the MB concepts and is merely caught up in the drama. It's not hard to find others to jump on the validation wagon.

atruheart,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is a DISCUSSION board and not meant to be a Co-Dependancy Board!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Codependency is a fact of life and there are many that post here. It is a psychological state of mind which traps many in unhealthy relationships.
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What I think is unhealthy and unreasonable to expect is posters that rely on the board as their support mechanism.

Support in applying the MB concepts, yes. Support in their individual dramas, no. If a poster opts to post the drama, they should expect various replies (including critical ones)and have no reason to be put off. They are words on a screen. Anonymous persons POVs.

If a poster finds themself becoming emotionally involved in the threads and/or with individual posters then they may be in a dangerous place that is not beneficial to their marriage.

I think becoming emotionally involved in the drama (as the poster or the responder) can be counter productive to effectively applying the MB concepts to the marriage in turmoil. It becomes 1 step forward, 2 steps back approach to marriage building.

Thanks for the responses.