I am so angry right now. I called to discuss our divorce with my STBX and he is threatening to take my son away...saying that he will ask for a phycilogiacl(sp) evaluation for me.. OH MY GOD!!! How can he do that? There is nothing wrong with me other than being angry at him for doing what he's done to me. GOD!!!! I actually even talked to the OW. Boy, she's in a fantasy world. I got so angry with here. HOMEWRECKER!!!!
I just want to move near my family....what do I do? I will NOT sign the DV papers until he agrees that I can move out of state.

TR I cannot imagine why he is being so spieful. Even fog does not excuse such vitriol. You seem to us to have never been anything other than a loving and capable mother, so I doubt your crazy STBXH will take your son away.

I would really REALLY like to cave his face in about now for hurting you and your son in this way. His actions seem those of an utter swine.

I can;t advise, dear TR, as I am inexperienced in this.

I can, and will pray for you though.

{{{tr}}}

Tree,
First time i am replying to you but i have been following your situation throughout the summer.
Simple don't sign them that is in your controll not his. Besides this will make it difficult for him to procede with whatever plans he has with OW. Don't know much about FL laws though but it doesn't sound like a very fair state to us BS.
jets

Relax, it is just for talk. he can't do any of that so easily. Don't back down from him. He is just trying to intimidate you. DON'T LET HIM.

Tree, why aren't you in Plan B? I can't think of anyone who would benefit from it more than you. I mean that kindly.

You need to get with your lawyer about this and see what he/she says.

TR,
Listen to Maddyk.... this is a legal issue.
And one more thing...you need to limit contact with him...and why on EARTH are you having conversations with the OW ?

Listen.... they may start recording conversations you're having with your S, STBXH, and OW...for legal purposes.

They want to prove you spew evil into your son's mind.


Do NOT have discussion with them...#1...it's not a good idea legally... #2....it's horrible for your well being.

Don't let them bring you down. And that's exactly what they are trying to do...and doing well.

He can always request an eval. But you have the right to also get one as well as one on his OW since she seems to be a fixure in his life.
Somehow I just dont think that will fly.

Every friend I have had that went through a divorce that had small kids. Their Xspouse always made this threat. They know you would do ANYTHING for your child. Your child is now being used as a pon in a "lets get her to agree to less support" then we can have a nicer lifestyle.

I doubt he wants custody (especially the OW). Next time he threatens you dont freak out, turn it back on him "OK I think it would be a marvlous idea that we ALL have psychiatric evals, after all we want to ensure our son's best interests" Bet OW would be a little miffed
the court would require one from her as well if they are living together.
good-luck it will be fine

Tree - Take it with a grain of salt, and stop talking to your WH. Where was he when you were fleeing from the tornados? Enough said.

TR,

Follow the above advice. You know I've always thought you need to be in a dark Plan B. Just to protect yourself from the "zingers". Don't read his email or talk. Get an intermediary to filter out the hurtful babble. The only time my STBX ever talks to me is;
1. To zing me and bust my nuts or
2. When she wants something, in which she is nice.

As far as psychological evals. Get them done if he wants them. Nothing for you to fear there.
Get it all done. Go the whole route. Not to fight, but to make sure you aren't taken advantage of. He is calculating everything it appears, you need protection.

I'm counting on my Attny to protect me. I will support my kids always. But I won't be taken to the cleaners by my STBX. Everytime the attnys meet it is $1000, thats money she won't get to spend on OM.

TR, call your mom. Enjoy your fall break with Son.

Hi Tree,

Seems the best thing to do with these conversations is to cheerfully end the discussion and email your lawyer.

Plan B is good for Tree.

GC

Thanks for the advice! All I want is to go home and be with my family. He's being so cruel and it hurts so deeply. I actually hadn't planned on talking to OW....It did feel good to let her know what I thought about her and what she is doing though.. I didn't say anything in a way that could be used agaisnt me...I felt like it though. I tried really hard to keep my cool. SHe did throw it in my face about my STBX wanting a daughter....making it seem like she could give that to him. This hurt me very deeply...we had been trying to have another child for so long. That was like sticking a knife in my heart.
I feel so bad tonight. My son is spending the night with friends and once again I'm here alone.
I don't plan on talking to my STBX anymore. I told him I wanted the DV papers...I just want out of all this mess. My body, heart and soul can't take it anymore.
I am a good person and I need to be happy. I've never done anything to this man. All I ever did was give my whole heart and love to him.
I hope tomorrrow is a better day.

Tree -

Tomorrow will be a better day. Try to do something for you today. Maybe a nice bubble bath with candles, or a night out with friends.

Please take care of YOU.

believer...
I'm trying to take care of me...I really am. I usually do pretty good but I just feel so hurt right now. When will I ever be taken care of? When will anybody care about how I feel? When will I be loved for me? I just get so angry that this is happening to me and my son. It's just not fair. I just wish someone was here to give me a big hug! I'm tired of crying. I just want to be happy again.

((((((((((((TR)))))))))))))))))

Hang in there sweetie.
You are so beautiful, and caring.
Please don't let this shadow your true beauty.

Keep your head high !!!!

You're doing much better than you give yourself credit for.

Thank you betrayedinjersey!

I am trying to keep my chin up. I do know that in the long run I will be ok and probably better off....it's just getting there.
Thanks to all of you for the support.

(((((((((((((((((((((Tree)))))))))))))))))))))))))

You will find someone to love you like you deserve to be loved. You gave the gift of your love to your husband. Too bad for him.

In the meantime, it is not going to be pleasant, but you and your son will come out just fine. I promise you that.

Thank you believer!
I just feel so betrayed not only by my STBX but by his family. They will all lose in this. I truly feel like my STBX never loved me at all. He said he wasn't happy for 10 years and now he's doing "the noble thing by leaving". Bull crap!

I look froward to the day when I don't care about him anymore.

Betrayed by family too is normal when WH is having an affair. You will get over this, so try to relax. WH is rewriting the history of your marriage to cover his guilt.

If I were you I would take a little break from all of this.

I plan to. I am going home to visit my family on Wed. and staying until Sunday. I need to get away from here.
I'm getting ready to take a long hot bath and just relax.
Thank you believer!

Hi tree

Here's a big hug for you, sweetie.

((((((((hug)))))))))

Just remeember what goes around comes around. You and I both know we have done nothing but love our WHs.

Know that you can walk tall and proud knowing that you were not the cheater and the liar.

Know that your WH will end up regretting his bad choices, and will always feel the guilt of leaving his son and Marriage.

My WH is so happy now with OW, our D is now being friendly to both of them, he and her have money, nice apartment, his life is great.

..........BUT..........

I do beleive the tables will evenutally turn in time, just have to wait it out.

In the meantime, try to forget about all his **** and and dont talk to him.

I feel so bad for you, dear, please take care, and i will be thinking about you.

A/C0810