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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2 |
need advice on plan a or plan b. how do you know if plan a is making things worse in an already strained-to-the-limit relationship? i feel like i'm losing ground and the affair is getting stronger as time goes by. maybe i don't know all there is about plan a. there has been a discussion about WH needing more space.(sound familiar?) this was after WH was found unexpectedly at co-workers house which prompted a confrontation that night and a discussion two days later. since then i've tried following plan a but he admitted feeling smothered. i've been advised to follow the tough love approach but relationship is strained. please advise. do not currently have access to saa.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Start out in Plan A. Yes, he may say he needs space. What that really means is he needs space to continue his affair.
You can read all about Plan A on the link in my sig line.
By the way, welcome to marriagebuilders.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2 |
THANKS FOR THE QUICK RESPONSE BELIEVER! I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THERE WAS NO CONFRONTATION IN PLAN A. I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO APPROACH THIS TOPIC. DO I NEED EVIDENCE? WH IS GETTING RATHER BOLD WITH PHONE CALLS (SO IS SHE.) HE IS MAKING PLANS (NEAR FUTURE) TO LEAVE LIKE TAKING CARE OF PROJECTS THAT HAVE LINGERED FOR YEARS, ETC. HOW DO I BEST CHANGE HIS MIND IN THIS MINDSET? I'M AWARE OF THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS I'VE LEFT UNMET AND SHE IS FILLING THEM. I KNOW IT'S LIKE AN ADDICTION BUT HOW CAN SOMEONE ACT SANE AND INSANE AT THE SAME TIME?! HOW SERIOUS DOES THIS MAKE THE SITUATION OR IS THIS JUST FOG "THINKING"? I DON'T WANT TO WASTE TIME BUT I WANT TO BE SURE I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING. WH HAS BEEN VERY DISTANT TO ME SO IT'S HARD TO FILL ANY EN. THANKS IN ADVANCE
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