For those of you who have followed my previous thread, you know that WW and I are going to visit the OM + OMW Thursday (10/14). We'll be there from Friday - Monday, returning home on Tuesday (10/19).

I have summarized the following advice:

1. Control LB's

2. Don't let them be alone.

What other words of wisdom can you folks offer?

<small>[ October 26, 2004, 07:17 PM: Message edited by: Georgia Guy ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Georgia Guy:
<strong> For those of you who have followed my previous thread, you know that WW and I are going to visit the OM + OMW Thursday (10/14). We'll be there from Friday - Monday, returning home on Tuesday (10/19).

I have summarized the following advice:

1. Control LB's

2. Don't let them be alone.

What other words of wisdom can you folks offer? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No words of wisdom- just my thoughts and prayers. I know this is incredibly difficult for you.

Dear Georgia Guy,

I can somewhat relate to your situation because my H had an A with my "best friend". OWH and OW were good friends of us and we socialized a lot.
Unfortunately their A destroyed this friendship. I cannot bear to see my H and OW together anymore, even though I'm sure their A stopped as soon as I found out. So I found out that it's NOT ok for married people of the opposite sex to socialize too much. I trusted my H. I trusted OW. I let them spent time together for their mutual hobby because I trusted them 100%.. but that was just setting the stage for their A.

So where could this contact your W is insisting upon possibly lead to? Yes... to an A. Oh and such a romantic one, no dirty socks to be seen from 3000 miles:). I agree with the other posters that "I'll go whether you'll go with me or not" is a BIG red flag of the selfish, childish behavior that is so common for an A, EA or PA. It's like drunk driving regularly and saying hey, I never had an accident, so it's ok!! It's an accident waiting to happen.

What to do? Set your boundaries; it's no LB to insist on "proper behavior". In fact your W might think you don't care about her if you "let" her get into situations where she can be alone with OM. And plan A for the rest of the time..

Good luck to you my dear.
Take the time when you're over there to spend some quality time ALONE with your W !

<small>[ October 13, 2004, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: brownhair ]</small>

Georgia guy,

First of all...this visit is crap. There is not one thing that can come of this that will be helpful to your marriage. She wants to establish friendship so that she can continue this EA...AND she wants to see him in the flesh. Both of these things are dangerous and just another way to try and justify her behavior.

So she needs LOTS of conversation and you aren't enough....FINE...so do lots of other women. That's why they have WOMEN friends, so they can talk talk talk. You need to buy a book by the late Shirley Glass called "Not Just Friends". It will give you the language...as well as the research to back what you say with facts and logic that your wife can understand.

Your wife's desire for this friendship....one she is willing to cram down your throat whether you like it or not...is unfair, selfish and destructive. Don't buy into and DON'T go. You can't control what she does...but you can sure control what you do...and going, simply enables this affair...gives it legitmacy. They are looking for your "seal of approval" and you'd be a fool to give it. Call the OMs wife and tell her that you have no intention of enabling this affair, that you will NOT be going, and encourage her not to enable it either. You guys are fooling yourselves if you think that getting everyone together will make this okay....all it will do is make sure it continues to undermine both marriages.

star*bump

Please reconsider your plans.

star*bump

Hoping you see this.