Hey all,
Well went home last night eve of my birthday and
decided to ask WW a black and white question. Does she want me or Om. WW stated she wants herself, told her this was not part of the answer. Again asked got same response, i replied the same thing back. Finally third time asked and WW hesitated and stated that she wanted OM. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
WW states that i just don't get it that she has been falling out of love with me over last 3 years and that i have no love in my heart for you anymore. That she is tired of pretending to have those feelings for me when she doesn't.
I had never felt so rejected and alone in all my life. Cannot believe WW would choose someone who had only known her for 9mo. to someone she has known for 20years. Again WW states that she does not know what future will hold with OM or me but nothing i say will change her mind, she is bound and determined to go. I am giving up and throwing in the towel. I have bent over backwards and kissed my behind to try to save this marriage and all it has been is one sided. I will right my plan B letter as one last futile attempt and give it to her the day she leaves. This letter will have my personal time line though i cannot wait forever for her to come out of this fog and start thinking with her head instead of her heart. WW states that she doesn't expect me to wait this wouldn't be fair. and hopes i can find someone to make me happy someone that can treat me like a wife should.
I told her I thought i did,but i guess i didn't find out until 20yrs later that i was wrong.
I told her right now all i can do is try to make this house a happy memory for you.
I stated i am only the father of your kids. So now you will have to turn to OM to meet you needs.
I will be cordial to her d/t kids but for right now that is as far as it will go.
She is in such a fog over this OM that she has her future all planned out with him even after he is deployed.
She disgust me in the fact that she would chose him only knowing him for 9mo. vs. me who she has known since High School.
So tonight she still plans on celebrating my Bday. She even woke me up on the coach this morning hugged me and cried stating that it was hard to believe i am 40, wish me a good day and left. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
So tonight i will put on my happy face at least for my darling kids and pretend that life is going to get better.
Happy Birthday to me!! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
jets

When is OM's deployment?

SD

SD,
OM goes out to sea for 6mo. cruise around first of March. WW will be out of my life and into his by end of this mo.

It's a bit longer than recommended, but if I were in your shoes, I'd stay in Plan A, as perfectly as possible, until OM goes to sea.

OM cannot fill ANY of her needs, and NC will be somewhat in place at that time. If you love her, and you want her, you will need to dig down deep within yourself for the strength to do this.

Take a look at your kids, are they not worth this effort. Post here, whine here, vent here, but don't give up. You are in the "early stages" here, and you can win this battle.

But right now, it's totally up to you!

SD

SD
I don't know,right now i feel i could,but come Jan,Feb,Mar. I don't know and Won't know. Especially after all the hurt she has caused me. Beside she already has it planned that they will email each other and write letters. So NC really won't be NC. I am afraid for her in the fact that she will be let down by OM, but also in the fact that she is burning her bridges down with me. Then again WW always came out smelling like a rose. Funny her desire to leave when she knows she can go right into another relationship. If was just because she couldn't figure herself out. She wouldn't be leaving.
I will try and wait, but I give no gaurantees and she won't give any either that she could come back. I have told her it is her choice to walk out, my choice to let you back into my life.
jets

SD,
Yes my kids are worth the effort, but i have been the only one so far doing that. I can be blamed for setting the affair up by my actions to WW, but WW chose to recontact OM, i had nothing to do with that.
WW right now is only thinking of herself not her Kids. She seems to rationalize that this will be better for them , to live under split roofs a week at a time. She is in for a rude awaking,my kids as me never asked to be put in this spot.
Sad part is My Kids are the real victims here not me nor Ww.
jets

SD,
Yes my kids are worth the effort, but i have been the only one so far doing that. I can be blamed for setting the affair up by my actions to WW, but WW chose to recontact OM, i had nothing to do with that.
WW right now is only thinking of herself not her Kids. She seems to rationalize that this will be better for them , to live under split roofs a week at a time. She is in for a rude awaking,my kids as me never asked to be put in this spot.
Sad part is My Kids are the real victims here not me nor Ww.
jets

I'm sorta in the same stitch. Known and dated WH since high school, 18 1/2 years, married 15 years. He's known/been with OW a year. He's still debating, but he really wants to be with OW, says the same thing...fell out of love with me and it's been a few years that things have been bad and he's been unhappy, doesn't know if he can get the feelings back for me. So he's torn. We have 2 kids.

SW, very similar sit.
Known WW for 20yrs. and married for 14.
She ready to throw it all away for some guy she met 9mo. ago. Everyone else see's she making a mistake, but cannot tell her nor does she see it otherwise.
I feel sometimes maybe this is for the best. Maybe i really don't know how a wife is to treat a husband. I have only known her and her ways.
I just feel for my kids. They never asked for this and why WW cannot get past her selfish feelings to see this and how much she is hurting all of us. She says does but she conts. to pack.
Jets