My H told me tonight that I can order SAA from MB & send it to him, he'll read it, then he'll send it to me & I can read it. Questions:

1. Is SAA the best book out of MB's selection for us to read in the stage we're in (nc established for 1 week)? (experiences, if possible)

2. Is it best for him to read it first, being the BS?

I know it's late, but I'm going to place the order tomorrow morning...

That's all. Thanks.

SAA deals directly with how to recover from an A, but I think that Harley's best book is Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders because it describes how people get into the situation in which they justify their decision to have an affair in the first place. It's designed for single people to figure out whether to marry someone. Ultimately, it would help you to determine how to lead a life which is works for both of you -- which eliminates building relationships with members of the opposite sex that are a threat to the marital relationship.
Cherished

<small>[ October 13, 2004, 08:41 AM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>

Mell, I have not read these, the list comes from ForeverHers, I thought I would share it with you.

The Bible
“Surviving An Affair”, by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. and Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers
“Fall In Love, Stay In Love”, by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
“Torn Asunder”, by Dave Carder
“The Divorce Remedy”, by Michele Weiner Davis
“Magnificent Marriage”, by Gordon MacDonald
“Rebuilding Your Broken World”, by Gordon MacDonald
“After the Affair”, by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D.
“Forgive & Forget, Healing The Hurts We Don’t Deserve”, by Lewis B. Smedes
“The God Who Hears”, by W. Bingham Hunter
“Intended for Pleasure”, by Ed Wheat, M.D. and Gaye Wheat
“Idols Of The Heart, Learning to Long for God Alone”, by Elyse Fitzpatrick
“Marriage, Whose Dream?”, by Paul David Tripp
“Thankfulness Even When It Hurts”, by Susan Lutz
“God’s Love, Better than Unconditional”, by David Powlison
“ ‘Just One More’ When Desires Don’t Take No for an Answer”, by Edward T. Welch
“What Do You Do When Your Marriage Goes Sour?”, by Jay E. Adams
“What Do You Do When You Know That You’re Hooked?”, by Jay E. Adams
“What Do You Do When Anger Gets The Upper Hand?”, by Jay E. Adams.

I'm going to be checking out a few ASAP from this list and here are a couple other people have recommened.

When Godly People do Ungodly things, by Beth Moore

Secrets of the Vine by Bruce Wilkinson

Did you get a chance to check out my thread? It is very good, I really think it might help you as well. I got some great insight from many people.

How you doing?? Are you still hurting a bunch? {{{MELL}}} just in case you are. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks for the suggestions to both threads everybody. I think I'm going to try to find the best price on SAA for now & maybe look up some of the others in the library.

KY4,

I've heard of several of those books. We have "Intended for Pleasure" & the Bible. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I saw your thread & briefly glanced at it when you first started it, but no more. I keep planning on it & I will soon. I've been reading a devotional for women & some of the Bible. Sometimes the conviction hurts too much & I'm "turned off" of it for a while...Does that make sense? I'm starting to push myself to read/apply, even when it does hurt. I've always known that the Bible is like a mirror that shows you your true self & right now it's painful to see what I've become.

Anyway, as far as how I'm doing in general...I'm definitely in a different stage than I was last week. I'm not quite as "weepy" & I still hurt, but the pain has dulled. Keeping busy stops me from thinking too much.

Thanks for keeping track of me. It helps. I'll look at your thread better soon.

Thanks for the suggestions to both threads everybody. I think I'm going to try to find the best price on SAA for now & maybe look up some of the others in the library.

KY4,

I've heard of several of those books. We have "Intended for Pleasure" & the Bible. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I saw your thread & briefly glanced at it when you first started it, but no more. I keep planning on it & I will soon. I've been reading a devotional for women & some of the Bible. Sometimes the conviction hurts too much & I'm "turned off" of it for a while...Does that make sense? I'm starting to push myself to read/apply, even when it does hurt. I've always known that the Bible is like a mirror that shows you your true self & right now it's painful to see what I've become.

Anyway, as far as how I'm doing in general...I'm definitely in a different stage than I was last week. I'm not quite as "weepy" & I still hurt, but the pain has dulled. Keeping busy stops me from thinking too much.

Thanks for keeping track of me. It helps. I'll look at your thread better soon.

Thanks for the suggestions to both threads everybody. I think I'm going to try to find the best price on SAA for now & maybe look up some of the others in the library.

KY4,

I've heard of several of those books. We have "Intended for Pleasure" & the Bible. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I saw your thread & briefly glanced at it when you first started it, but no more. I keep planning on it & I will soon. I've been reading a devotional for women & some of the Bible. Sometimes the conviction hurts too much & I'm "turned off" of it for a while...Does that make sense? I'm starting to push myself to read/apply, even when it does hurt. I've always known that the Bible is like a mirror that shows you your true self & right now it's painful to see what I've become.

Anyway, as far as how I'm doing in general...I'm definitely in a different stage than I was last week. I'm not quite as "weepy" & I still hurt, but the pain has dulled. Keeping busy stops me from thinking too much.

Thanks for keeping track of me. It helps. I'll look at your thread better soon.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> it's painful to see what I've become.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is not what you have become, you did a bad thing, it is not who you are.

You really need to read my thread. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Make a printable version of it, then you can read it later. I really suggest you read the link from FH, it is about forgiving ones self. VERY GOOD, exactly what you might be needing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I absolutely will keep track of you. I'm sorry your still hurting, but I'm glad it is getting better.

KY

[Has anyone read this before?

In Touch Study Series,the Advancing Through Adversity
by Charles Stanley

Dr. Charles Stanley's new series of Bible study guides feature insights and wisdom of this beloved pastor and author. Small groups and individuals who want a Bible study that's spiritually sound and practical will find a wealth of ideas to help them understand and apply the Scriptures to the real world. Each title takes a unique fourfold approach to get the most out of Bible study time - emphasizing personal identification with the Scripture passage, recognition of your emotional response, reflection of the passage's meaning and application, and taking steps to apply what's been learned. This is a sound way to explore the Word of God.


I just ordered it and am hoping it is good.