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Oh that reminds me of a funny story about my renters in the bungalow I have out back.
They called one day to say that a rat had fallen from the ceiling onto the man renter. Now how they got rats is beyond me, because I certainly don't have them.
Anyway my ex went back there with a box of rat poisen to take care of the problem, which sent the man renter into a frenzy worrying that we were going to kill the rats with the poisen.
The renter says to my ex, "where are you from anyway?, I am from Northern Canada and rats don't bother us all that much"
My ex replied "well, I sure as ****** am not from Transelvania, and I don't like rats".
My renters ended up getting themselves a really good mouser. LOL
Now I'm thinking my ex was the biggest rat of all.
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My renters ended up getting themselves a really good mouser. LOL
Now I'm thinking my ex was the biggest rat of all. Hence my suggestion poison! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> -ol' 2long
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Uh -
Um -
Anyone want my lunch. For some reason I'm not too hungry right now.
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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Weaver,
I think I understand what you mean. I do love her and I don't think I could love a monster. The problem is a forest for the trees kind of thing. I no longer trust my instincts in such things. It would be like imbedding a victim’s family in the jury. My perception is clouded. I need a clear view of everything at once and there is no way I know of to get one by myself. I hoped there may be something enlightening here, I guess.
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Ap, I just found this...thank you for explaining.
You have no idea how much I understand what you have said, living with the man I lived with for five years where his lies were so big and so convincing, I questioned my perception of everything...my perception of myself, my perception of him...everything.
I seriously thought I was going insane.
I will never again live with someone who is capable of lying, love or no love because I love my sanity more.
I hope someday (if it is your desire to continue with your wife as it seems to be) that you have clarity and once again see through the eyes of the innocent. Ok, will y'all quit reading my journal?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Appy and Weaver, I feel the same way. Even when I KNEW he was lying he would twist my mind to the point that I would have believed I was wrong for believing the sky was blue!
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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Yes. Bug zappers are still available, and I highly recommend one for this case. I cite the following story, which I found on some website. And now, a word from my Mentor, Dan (It's no wonder I can't talk) Posted April 4, 2006, 3:23 PM CT Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 31st anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Kathy. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser (stun gun). The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no longterm adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Kathy what that burn spot is on the face of our microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,... right? There I sat in my recliner, my dog Asia looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Asia (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a old dog. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a wife-beater shirt with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....I'm sitting there alone, Asia looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS [email]DESTRUCTION@!behind!%!@*!!![/email] I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The dog was standing over me making whining sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-.... that hurt like heck!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the blades of the ceiling fan. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock, Daniel one of my old friends wrote wrote back when I sent this to him, that he totally could see ME as the author of this story. (no - I have not tried mine on myself...) far
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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Oh geez louise. Tonight my roommate and I polished off the last of my keg leftovers from the party. It amounted to almost nothing.
Afterward, I thought I'd be funny and send my bandmates an email where I faked like I was stupidly drunk and proud of finishing off the beer. Full of curses and spelling mistakes and self-conscious pretend-drunk ramblings. It was a masterpiece.
I sorta went "into character" to write it. This sloppy attitude affected who I put on the "To:" list, and I accidentally sent the message to, of all people, my ex's sister, who has the same first name as one of my pals. I never bothered deleting her from my address book.
Doh!
GC
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Even when I KNEW he was lying he would twist my mind to the point that I would have believed I was wrong for believing the sky was blue! Yep, and I still spend a lot of time wondering why I allowed this affront to my sanity. In what way did it serve me? I think for me I know why but I am constantly on the guard now even though he will never be back in my life. I can't imagine going through my own recovery with the same person that willingly, knowingly threatened my sanity for his own gain and selfish purposes...so I have the utmost respect for those of you who do recover yourselves as well as your marriages simulaneously. Seems like quite a feat to me, and I can only imagine how hard it is to be able to trust your own perception in the same although different (spouse has an enlightenment) situation.
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Gray, I bet she is deleted now! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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FAR,
I LMAO the first time I read that silly story. It is really funny.
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Oh dear, GC that is sorta sad and sorta funny.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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I'm still cringing over that email. Oh yeah, she's deleted now! Hopefully she deletes the message and that's the end of it.
Poor Giraffe is distraught about the neighbor's advances. She said she used to think she had good intuition about people. I told her everyone thinks that about themselves but it's probably more important to know how to handle it when you do spot the baddies.
What's weaver think, I wonder?
GC
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What I think is I didn't know mine was a bad man...heck I was engaged to a man I didn't even know was already married.
I think we need to trust our friends and hope like h*ll they spot what we miss.
As a bartender Gray, I could spot an idiot a mile away and an alcoholic after his first drink from his first drink...
but somehow, I didn't spot the rat, even after five years.
Giraffe has a good man and she needs to hold him close and tell the creeps to buck off.
Evil comes in all different forms, that's all I know...and I don't even believe in the devel or evil for that matter. LOL Some of us are just further along on our journey than others...yes, lets just put it that way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by weaver; 08/22/06 09:18 AM.
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FAR,
I LMAO the first time I read that silly story. It is really funny. Me too. You do not know how close I have come to trying that. (before the story - I mean - how bad could it really hurt - that thing is tiny!!) Gray - How much DID you drink? Oh well. Life goes on, eh? Sounds like a lot of good food. I thought I was the only one who says "geez louis". Well - me and my kids...... far
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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Weav,
“I think for me I know why but I am constantly on the guard now even though he will never be back in my life. I can't imagine going through my own recovery with the same person that willingly, knowingly threatened my sanity for his own gain and selfish purposes...”
How do we start trusting other people now? Or should we in the first place? Seems right and proper to not trust anyone, any more. Really. But that seems sad too.
We adopted a pound cat that was abused as a kitten. It never approaches anyone. Never sits on anyone’s lap. Never rubs against anyone’s legs. Never wants to be petted. I leave food out for it and it eats. It will sit in a corner where it can see us and it will purr to itself. But it never approaches.
Safe, but … but what?
“so I have the utmost respect for those of you who do recover yourselves as well as your marriages simultaneously.”
Or perhaps some of us are just cowards and we know will never approach anyone else ever again.
I don’t know.
I am safe in detachment, at least.
As far as recovering myself? I don’t think I want that person any more. Very slow learner. Still shopping around for a new me, actually.
With prayers
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out And it bites off your snout Thats a moray ~DS
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Aph, At least you look at yourself. Many of our (my) problems are because we (I) refuse to do so on a regular basis. I'm getting better at it, but still have a journey.
I suspect most of us do.
May you find joy in the journey.
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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Aph - we adopted a puppy that was likely abandoned in a house. It was in the corner of the kennel at the pound. Would not even come to us. Had given up.
It is now the most loyal dog I have ever seen. Loves like no other.
Our roommate/babysitter has a cat. It seemed possessed for the longest time. None of my family could even go near it. If we wandered too close to it's room, it would start hissing at us through the door. We just let it have it's space, and it eventually warmed up to us. (especially me). I can now pet it - it even comes to me for companionship. (I am not particularly fond of cats...)
It is interesting how time, respect, love.....
can change the other creature.
But now I have have this XW - I leave it alone as much as possible (what with three kids and all...), but do not abuse it. I am not mean to it. Just ignore it the best I can.....
far
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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"I leave it alone as much as possible (what with three kids and all...), but do not abuse it. I am not mean to it. Just ignore it the best I can....."
FAR, are you talking about your puppy or your xw? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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Still shopping around for a new me, actually. I happen to like the you you are now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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FAR, I did the same thing with my ex. Took me two years to get to the point of being able to do more than ignore her. Things have been getting steadily calmer between us, which is very good for DD and not so bad for us, either.
But... A couple of weeks ago I saw that smile. You know the one -- you probably saw your ex, back when you were first in love, smile that same smile at you.
It shocked the living daylights out of me. All I'd said was that I hoped she had a good vacation. I didn't expect that reaction. It bothered me for days.
I don't want to re-tame that particular pet. She lives in someone else house now and someone else feeds and pets her. The very last thing I want in my life is her. I remember loving her and it's a fond memory. There is some part of a marriage that never dies and I accept that. But that is all that I want.
I don't know where to go with this -- I don't have any good advice for myself or for you. I just know that I understand what you're doing.
Sunny Day, Sweeping The Clouds Away...
Just J --
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