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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131 |
Just wanted to say "Hi" and thank you all so much for sharing your lives here. I found out my WH was having an affair on July 21, 2004. It lasted a year with a friend of ours. When confronted he admitted all and went into NC and has been since. We have been counseling with SH since Aug 26th and it has been going very well. I am on AD's but I still have my bad times though very few compared to the first month. We went to a marriage builders seminar July 25th and that went really well too. This has been such a tough road to go down and at times I just wanted to quit. I never go to bed without reading this board! Just wanted to thank everyone especially Pure Bob!! You are such an inspiration! You guys keep me going!
BS 32
WS 35
Married 13 years
Two boys 8 & 9
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome to marriagebuilders. Glad you decided to start posting. It sounds like you are doing all of the right things.
Many folks come here and get the program right away and apply it. Much like faithinme, Purebob. and Spider Slayer. For others, it takes more time. But the program does work.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131 |
I'm just so very thankful that my WH is working SO hard are re-building our M. I feel for everyone who is in Plan A or B. I'm not sure if I could have done that. I think I would have just kicked him out and moved on. I'm surprised I still haven't. I did try but he begged me not too and we found SH. If I wouldn't have found this site our marriage would be over right now.
BS 32
WS 35
Married 13 years
Two boys 8 & 9
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Marsha - Hope you will still keep posting here. There are many folks that need some hope. A lot of times it seems like the MB program doesn't work.
Please keep telling your story here.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131 |
Heck, sometimes I still need help. How do you stop the movies in your head? When will I ever feel special again? Is he really never going to do this again? Why wasn't I good enough? Just the words "Niagra Falls" depresses me for days! He took her on a three day vacation in April while little wifey thought he was on a hunting trip! When will I stop feeling like such a fool? SIGH!!
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
Marsha, its a rollercoaster but it can be done. There are lots of successful recovery stories on here!
All blessings to you and your family at this bitter time !
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 862
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 862 |
Hi Marsha and welcome -
I'm happy to hear you've been able to find MB and work on your M. It's not easy.
My WH still isn't back yet, but I have hope. I guess those questions and feeling like a fool will go away in time.
I never thought the pain of D-day would go away, but it has diminished. I believe that those feelings will be the same. Time, trust and honesty are what I expect will heal us.
Good luck to you!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Marsha -
You can have a marriage that is better than before all of this happened. It will take time and effort, but is possible.
Affairs are very common, sadly. It is necessary to figure out why it happened. Has your husband thought about that?
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 131 |
Yes, we both know why it happened and how to make sure it never happens again. Still, this shattered my view of my marriage and my husband. He knows he wasn't protecting his weaknesses and he is learning how to do this so this never happens again. He is so very sorry and is hurting too. I just go into withdraw from him I think cuz I don't trust him any more and I fear he will just hurt me again. Sigh, where's that rock I can go hide under?
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
This is still very new to you. It will get better, I promise. I never thought my husband would cheat, but he did. And he is still with OW after 22 months. But thanks to this site, I am doing just fine.
It is good that your husband is remorseful, but hard to deal with helping him, when you are sad yourself.
But many here have gone on to have better marriages. So hold on to that thought.
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