I came to find out tuesday my WH hacked my email and found out about my miscarriage....he was so cold and hurtful over the phone...but then last night he came over....I told him I didn't want to talk about it...but he insisted and he cried...he was sorrowful and angry...and mourning....but he still says our marriage is over....I could see all the different emotions fly across his face....from sorrow to looking like he just wanted to run into my arms...and then to anger....we did hold each other especially when I broke down.....i don't know if he understands how I feel...I lost the last little piece of him I had left....and I will never have the chance to get it back according to him.....wish I knew when he would wake up and realize what this has done to me....i asked him if he wanted me to take him to see the baby...If he wanted to visit the babys grave I would take him....he never gave me an answer.....but he kept breaking into tears.....i just don't know what else to do....

<small>[ October 15, 2004, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: missinghimterribly ]</small>

missinghimterribly

My condolences to you and your H for your tragic loss. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

The fact that your WH cried over the loss of your child, shows that he is a very troubled man. While he may feel that it is all your fault that the marriage has been severely damaged beyond repair, the loss of the baby has punched through a hole in his foggy mind and may have shown him that his affair is wrong and that his actions are equally responsible for the bad state of the marriage. He may even feel that this may be a form of punishment from God who took his child because he was not worthy to be its father. Of course all of this is speculation but his grief is very real.

i felt the need to visit my babys grave today....maybe to let him/her know that daddy knows about them....MIL called and basically told how can i not expect him to want out...and he's trying to move on so I need to stop pushing and move on too....that hurt....but she said she is praying for us....do these people not believe how sorry I am and that I want the chance to make things right....for god sakes I felt like i was tied to a stake and the fire was about to be lit....

WH and I had a nice convo yesterday...and he said somethings that surprised me....I mean really...but the "our marriage is over" thing was still there...we were having a lovely conversation and out of no where he makes a comment about something that starts conflict....I do my best not to give him a reaction at all....and when he isn't getting it he starts to get angry.....oh and when OW logs on his deminor totally changes....he goes from being nice and fun and ligh hearted...to mean and ugly....and when she logs off...he's back to nice....is there something wrong with this picture here?

MHT,

This is the first thread I've read of yours, I don't know how I've missed you up until now.

My heart breaks for you...to go through the loss of a baby, and to have to deal with the possible loss of your marriage seams so incredibly unfair.

I am so very sorry.

((((((missinghimterribly))))))


Weaver

thanks weaver......it's been a rough road....and I've heard my share of fog talk not only from him but now his mom......all I want is my family back together.....and OW is an extremly annoying pain.....I am holding on as best I can I don't want to lose everything I love...