I've only posted a couple of times. I'm reading daily and learning lots.

In August my DH of 9 years confessed to a ONS. Strangely, when he told me, I wasn't all that upset and I chose to forgive and live with it. We've been working through things since Dday and I "feel" like things are almost back to normal. Unfortunately, he is out of town on business and he has been out of town about 95% of the time since early June.

Last night I had a terrible nightmare. I dreamed that he had another ONS and I walked in on him. And he wasn't remorseful this time. He was smug and he said, "well, it's about time you knew the truth. I've been sleeping with all sorts of women for months."

I don't want to bring it up because it was just a dream. But part of me is terrified that it's EXACTLY right. That maybe his ONS WASN'T a ONS but was one in a series of ONSs.

Am I going crazy or did all of this just catch up with me??

C

You're not going crazy - you're in a sad situation.

Why not ask him? Share your fears and worries in a mature conversation. What reason did he give for the ONS? Was it some unique situation that would never have happened before or since?

Your instincts are usually right. Keep your fear in check and do what is best for YOU. 2 months since D-Day sounds like an extremely short time to be almost back to normal. Is he remorseful? Has he changed his behaviors? What is he doing to make sure this doesn't happen again? Notice I said DOING, not "saying" or "thinking".

Dreams are very mysterious to me.
(I dreamt a couple years ago that my H was with a woman with long black hair and in the dream he was cold and cruel to me) It turned out that I found out this past year he was having an EA with a woman at work with long black hair.

Creepy when I think of it how dead on the dream was. Absolutely makes me wonder how my subconscious picked up on the detail of her hair?!

Anyway. Often dreams are symbolic but put together with other factors such as your H being gone on trips often, his confession in August.......they really DO have a lot to tell us.

Well, he's been extremely forthcoming with the reasons for the ONS. He was at a bar (while out of town), an aggressive woman approached him, he let it take him further than he would normally go because he was starved for attention. He said they didn't have intercourse because he couldn't achieve an erection due to guilt. Probably due to too much alcohol, too.

What he's been doing is entertaining ALL my questions. He confessed without any provocation. If he hadn't told me I NEVER would have known. I'm one of the "Oh, my man would NEVER EVER cheat on me" girls.

Even though he's still out of town (he was home for a visit when he confessed), he calls me frequently, he's open about what he's doing, where he's going. When he was here he was very loving and remorseful. He was really sick about the whole thing. He was really ashamed of himself and he was willing to let me walk away if that's what I wanted. He did say that he'd do ANYTHING to keep our relationship and to be able to work through it.

I don't know....the dream just kind of freaked me out. I'd hate to "forgive" and accept and work through something that is really NOT in my nature to work through, only to have it come rigt back and slam me in the face.

C