Today I called D at 8:40am like everyday....D was just waking up......she should had been on the way to school.....I know WW took D to work with her last night at Mcdonalds.......till 12:00am......well D said that she is taking off because there cat that me and WW found 4 months ago was up all night and could not walk.....well WW went to work this morning and called me at 9:15 to ask me if I would call the school and tell them that d was sick...she told me that Meagan was at OM's house and that she was going to head right back home......well I told WW to call and let me know what happens with cat...an hour later I called the neighbor's house to see if D was there and tell her to call me....( I looked # up in phone book) OM cuts this ladies grass....I then 2-wayed land lord and he said D was over the houseand that if she needed anything she was told to go over there and use ther phone....He is a nice guy that I do know......well at 11:45am I get a phone call from D telling me that they are taking cat to vet ...then D asked me if I could cash WW support check..( she does not have account) I said I would if she came to the bank where I was working or after work at local bank.....she said fine and I told D to call me after visit at vet's...12:25 pm I get call from D cring because they had to put cat down......I was told that it cost WW 119.00 dollars to find out that cat could not be saved.......she probly billed them.......me and D talked and I told D that I will get a kitten in two weeks when they are weined from mom cat....It made her happy......I left a message on ww phone telling her that I am sorry for what happened and if she needed any thing at all I would be there for her.......@ 12:43 ww calls me back and goes off on me for calling neighbor house....putting on a show for neighbor.....she tells me i am sick and posesive and physco...and to leave her alone and not to call her anymore......If I did she was going to get a restaining order against me.....I told WW that it was alright when she needed me to pick up subs or call school or take meagan up her clarinet...or pay for pics...ect.then she hung up.........well at 2:00 pm the phone rang I did not answer it...........I am so mad at WW right now...well quess who called just now ...she said she is sorry about today....I told WW don't worry I will not be calling her anylonger...if she wants to talk about us she can call but I will not be calling her....She said why did you call her ...she said " I have been taking care of meagan for ten years and she is a good mother and you never took care of meagan (me)....I said no I did not work my butt off and have a home and food always on the table and clothes on her back no I did not do anything,,,,,yes I have become a better father since this happen but I was there for her.....and you........I will not call anymore...she said I give you an inch and you take a foot.......guess what she was on her way to Mcdonalds tonight with D at 10:00pm for work and I am a bad father...

<small>[ October 16, 2004, 01:27 PM: Message edited by: frankd ]</small>

Frank,
Take this information to your lawyer. Keeping your D out until midnight at a Mc'Donalds on a school night, asking you to call the school and lie about why she is absent...continued abuse of your D in my opinion. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Who was watching her in a public place while your W was working? She could have been abducted.

I do not see how continued Plan A is helping anyone. Just my opinion...

She is using you and you are allowing it. She does sound bi-polar or seems to have a mental disorder. She is not capable of taking care of your D at this time.

Why don't you have Meagan on the nights she has to work? I thought Meagan was staying with you most of the time now.

Taking Meagan to work as a last resort in rare instances is one thing, but if you are in the same town why can't she stay with you on school nights?

I have to concur with Ladysings on this one. Well obviously she is not being a good mother right now, she is living and forcing Meagan to live with her nutcase affair partner, etc, etc, etc.

I would try to convince her that Meagan needs to stay with you until she has her life in order, but in a very non threatening way. Or just ask her if Meagan can stay with you on school nights.

And if that doesn't work, then you must take this to your lawyer and try to get a better custody deal. That is your responsibility as Meagan's dad, and only you are capable right now to fight for Meagan's right to have a stable, loving, safe home. You must do this now Frankd.

Your marriage comes second now to your daughters well being.

<small>[ October 15, 2004, 06:14 AM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>

I wasn't real keen on the Plan B because for one it doesn't seem like it would be good for Meagan because WW and OM do not seem like the most healthy people...so who knows how WW would react and how she would handle it.

And also because I don't think Frank is capable of carrying out Plan B at this time.

The important thing right now is Meagan. And Frank this should be where your focus and energy goes, in fact your daughters happiness and future happiness depends on it. You need to just forget WW for the time being and figure out what you need to do to get custody of Meagan.

I agree with you Weaver,
I don't think Frank is ready for Plan B although I think Plan A is failing!

As you said, the marriage should not be the priority now, the child should be.

I don't want to be seen as anti-MB here, but the Plan A/Plan B issue at this point is not working. Frank is not ready to B and he is not making progress in A. I say forget about the whole "plan" label now and focus on taking care of the child. She is being neglected and subjected to unsafe and unhealthy living conditions.

Frank, you are a sweetheart to continue to care so much about your WW in spite of her horrid treatment towards you. Only you know when it's time to give the marriage recovery idea up and we can't decide that for you.

I will say that I believe that your D is being harmed emotionally by the situation that she is in when in your WW's care. (or lack of) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

As a Father, your primary obligation now is to ensure the safety of your precious child. Tell your WW that you realize that she is struggling and that you will do anything to ensure your D's well being. Offer to keep her on all school nights and take care of school issues etc. Do this in a non-judgemental manner that will shed even more light on the loving Father that you are.

To not get sucked into the drama of your WW, her boyfriend, etc. etc. Be part of the solution not part of the problems. Do not add to the drama, it is unhealty for everyone! Act as an advocate for your D and leave the former marriage out of it for now.

Continued prayers to all in your family, Ladysing

Frank, are you OK today? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

lS58 and weaver I will be getting meagan tommorrow morning.....D said WW wants me to pick up d at 7:00am.....I will be keeping Meagan next week I talked to WW and she agrees....If she is got to work I will keep Meagan....thank god......I found out today that WW missed an appointment for meagan at the dentist today...I called dentist office and told them that WW lost her mind and I would like to make a new appointment for meagan.......which I did .....I am so tired of the whole thing........I give up ....a I was never one to give up but I am now............sorry .......

Frank,
You can give up on your marriage, Lord knows many here would have long ago in your situation. Only you know when you have given all you can.

What you can never do is give up on being a father and I know that you will not do that. You have to stay strong and be the stability in Meagan's life that she is not getting from her Mother.

To be the best father you can be, you need to take steps towards being a happier person without your WW. I know that you take Meagan to church, do you go also? Are there any men's groups or Sunday school calsses that you could be involved in? Many churches have great single parents groups where you can receive support and even participate in social functions.

What I am saying is that you have to build a life for you and Meagan. The drama of your WW and her horrible situation is something that you cannot change, you need to step above it and offer a safe and fulfilling home life for your D.

Please seek out some support beyond therapy. I mean everyday things like a singles and children picnic, Fall carnival, social activities to make your lives more fun. Lord knows you both deserve it.

Have a great weekend, make it a new start, Ladysing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ October 16, 2004, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: Ladysing58 ]</small>

frankd...I'm glad to hear that you give up. As the old saying goes, You can't rake leaves in the desert. This whole relatiionship was well on the way to destroying you and Megan.

As I said before, your obsession was clouding your ability to see that you needed to leave her alone. If Megan were my daughter, I wouldn't want her alone in a house with the bf. He's immoral. Don't risk losing Megan totally because of a restraining order. Don't let her use it to get full custody.

Get busy and as was wisely suggested-go to church WITH Megan.

Hi ther is no restraining order....She called and told me that she was under alot of stress because of the cat being put down......And no I am not giving up ...I don't give up that easy....I will be the night and shining armor.....That relationship is headed out the door.........I was just being stupid........I am not a quiter.......I got meagan now and yes I do go to church and I pray alot.....I do do other things and I do take care of Meagan............Yes I am backing up abit to let OM destroy the relationship.......I have seen alot of other people stick it out alot longer and sucseed....I am just watching the mivie.......Meagan said that OM an WW got into it thursday night.....come to find out the cat had internal injuries....The doctor said that the cat was either dropped or kicked.....The WW was pissed when she got back to other mans house she packed her bags again and took meagan next store and spent the night thursday night.....She did call and tell me that she was sorry about the restraining order thing she would never do that to me...she said that I am a good father.....she does not let meagan around other man....that ids why she is taking meagan to work with her.....This guy is doing a good job by himself.......Meagan told me that OM told WW that Frank don't love meagan ,last night and WW told OM that I was a very good father to meagan and to drop it......OM called my D a little bad [censored] and WW was pissed about that .....Meagan told me that WW wanted me to pick D up at 7:00 this morning....and I told D that I coulg get her at 9:00 am.......OM was pissed and told WW that the only reason frank wants to get Meagan at 9:00 am was so I could see WW......What a piece of ****.....because he has to work.....Meagn told me that Ww does not let her aroun when OM is around....I will have meagan mor because of situation....I think WW eyes or starting to open up more and more.......I will give up when I am ready to give up....The lord has it all in a plan....I have become a better person because of all this...I see where I went wrong in all this ,,,,I have to be consistant......patiences.......I have faith.....

Frank I work for a vet...if that cat was beaten by other man....contact the vet have a post mortem exam done ....and send the evidence to the local SPCA and have his a$$ charged with cruelty to animals....I would chew him out myself if i was there....taking his stupid aggression out on an innocent animal makes me ticked....

I did call the vet and they were not in...I will be calling monday ...The cat has not been buried yet but there was X-rays taken.......I will do that as soon as I get incontact with vet......I am not 100% sure yet just going by what D said to me........

Frank,
If the OM did abuse the cat and cause it's death, he is an abuser. Many abusers atart out by abusing animals and then move on to humans. I fear for your daughter being in his home. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />