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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 0
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 0 |
Here is my story. I have been hanging around this site for about 2 months.
Married 16 years, have two DS's 15 and 8. A year ago I received the I love you but I am not in love with you letter. This was a wake up call and I started trying everything I knew to begin to win my wife's love back. Then on 7/20/04 received a call from OM's wife to inform me of an on affair. OM and OM's wife were friends prior to DD. OM is a co-worker of WS. On DD yelled, cried and made things worse. Got angry, depressed, lost weight could not sleep.
I am much better now. Still have trouble focusing at work.
WS is a typical WAW. ME not great at addressing conflicts. Wife said she would end the affair and non work related communication with OM. Wife and myself are in IC. I have stated clearly that I want to work on our M. WS feels she is in no place to work on M. She needs to work on clearing the demons in her head.
Trying to 180 by performing the following.
No pursueing, no begging or pleading to work on the marriage.
No frequent phone calls.
I am going out with friends. Sometimes spur of the minute.
I am not buying gifts.
No scheduled dates.
I am taking classes for myself.
Limited how often I say I love you.
I have learned how to be cheerful when around her and the boys.
Working on what I want in life.
Wearing nicer clothes, wearing colgne.
What I want is some input as to whether I am on the right track here? I understand this process takes time but it has been 4 months since DD and all I want to hear is she is ready to commit to the M. Then we can start Plan A. What else can I do to speed up this process in my favor.
Thejoker1.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome to marriage builders. It sounds like you are doing the right things. Also it is suggested that you spend 15 hours a week doing enjoyable things together. Will she do that?
Is she still working with OM?
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