2long- Hey. I have not been on the board much lately because I have been bummed out a bit. their R being over lasted about a week. I found out that she is seeing the jerk again and decided that I need to cut her out of my life for my own sanity. I still feel ok about it, but I am sad that my life has gone in the direction it has. I am just fed up about being lied to, played with, and everything being on her terms. She had many chances to really try to make things right. I wanted to take my power back and take the option of me always being there away from her. I can't go thru this anymore. In a way I wanted to hurt her for all the hurt and bad treament she has given me. That is probably wrong, but I also feel ready to move on. The reason I said I will let you all know if anything happens is that I wasn't sure if she would call me asking why I left the messege or beg. knowing her, she will just front that it doesn't bother her and bottle up more garbage inside.

Juke:

Okay, I understand better. Because you are so young and you have no kids and weren't married a long time, I do agree that cutting your losses at this point is probably the wisest thing. She's got a lot of growing up 2 do before she's marriage material, if she ever is, and you certainly don't need 2 take her on as a rescue mission. Like CSue said 2 me once, it's futile 2 try 2 rescue adults.

I just worry a bit because it doesn't sound like you're emotionally recovered yet, and so something akin 2 a plan B letter, without LBs might have been a better thing 2 send your message. But that might also give her hope. And if you have none, then it would be the wrong message 2 send.

best,
-ol' 2long

"Because you are so young and you have no kids and weren't married a long time, I do agree that cutting your losses at this point is probably the wisest thing. She's got a lot of growing up 2 do before she's marriage material, if she ever is, and you certainly don't need 2 take her on as a rescue mission. Like CSue said 2 me once, it's futile 2 try 2 rescue adults." Yes, you are right on with all of those statements. It is the smart thing to do to protect myself and my sanity. Life without her doesn't scare me anymore. She is definately not marriage material now and it will take years if ever for that to happen IMO.

As far as no plan B letter, she doesn't deserve one. She has given me nothing thru this so why should I give her hope? I just need to move on with this toxic person out of my life.

I didn't realize that you were still so bummed out. Take care of yourself. Like you, my marriage didn't last very long. It makes me wonder if there ever really was a marriage. Sure there was a wedding and all the motions were gone through but does that really constitute a marriage? Sure technically we will always be labeled as being divorced, but we don't have to let that baggage bring us down. You may have had the fairy tale life you thought you always wanted and you may think you've lost that main piece of the puzzle, but maybe that piece didn't fit quite as well as it should have. I can tell you now that someday you will find that person who will slip into your heart and will hold the same value to having a loving monogomous life with you and then your puzzle will truely be complete. Good luck to you.

There comes a time when enough is enough. It may not be the place where we envisioned ourselves being in but we all can get through this and with a little effort we all can make a better life for ourselves, be it with our spouses or on our own.