I know I haven't posted in awhile b/c moving and work.

I am feeling alittle anxious about LINY going back to work tomorrow. He's been on vacation for 2 weeks while we moved. The OW wasn't there b/c she was laid-off, she came back while he's been out. But, tomorrow they both will be there.

He's tried to reassure me that he loves me and that those feelings weren't "true". He is here and wants to be.

I just keep re-reading the "e-mail" in my head, while he was telling me "I don't know" - he ended the "e-mail" w/ "I love you. I know that". I think about our very 1st conversion about *HER* and he put her so high up above me. He didn't want to give *HER* up. They were thinking of leaving their spouses to pursue their "feelings" for each other - and it was only for their "respect" that they "decided" not to. Ya know had "try" w/ the W.

I felt like the consolation prize. The "okay if I gotta try", I'll do it - probably won't change much - but okay.

We have talked about our sit over the last 3 months and I beleive he does love me and he does realize what the A really was. I know he's changed everything and is trying very hard to make our M work (so am I). But, I feel that fimilar itch that you get when a scar is bothering you. And sometimes, you can't help but remember how it got there in the 1st place and you also remember the pain it caused.

It's only been 3 months for our R .... but it only took 3 months for them to get to where they got to and almost ruin our 11 year M.

I know I'm rambling ... I had to vent.

Brown

brown, a scar is a scar. I think it's probably like a real scar probably is..at first you notice it all the time, but then you hardly ever think about it or see it until someone points it out to you, or something triggers you to look.

I do not have any great advice to you, but wanted to let you know that someone read and understands about your anxiety. I truly hope that LINY can find ways to reassure you throughout the day.