First of all I would like to say it makes no difference to me if a person is a WS or a BS as we are all in this life together, making mistakes, learning and growing...

EXCEPT when someone subjects their child to their OP.

I have been reading more and more lately about people in situations where their WS has/is compromising their childs view and feelings of family, protection and loyalty.

Now if there are any WS active in an affair reading on MB, please don't do this to your children. Don't harm them more than your affair already is.

Please treat them with respect, sensitivity, compassion and love -

KEEP THEM AWAY FROM YOUR AFFAIR PARTNER!

Please, for your childrens' sake.

please slap this to my WH....I really don't want the woman who has torn our family up to be around my son....

Are you talking about me......?????? Yes I got my D she will be with me all week ........My d said that WW does not want her with OM when she is not there........I know that WW is out there but I know that Meagan was always her # 1 ......Until OM came along.......now D is # 2........but deep in Ww heart D is still # 1........the fog blocks all sight.........Weaver I am not calling WW.....I am being good....D did call yesterday and left a message but WW did not call back....

Frank,

You are so funny. Meagan is going to be fine with you as her dad, and someday your WW will be back to her old self and away from you know who.


Missinghimterribly,

You hang in there girl, you too will be okay.

I just don't understand why people lose all sense of right and wrong, even as it applies to their children during an affair. Damn that alien fog anyway.

I'm worried about our children now that affairs seem so rampant. What is going to happen to our children, how will they be able to have a productive, stable, good life when this is what they grow up with. I just don't know.

This is a timely thread for me. I said most of this in Believer’s Sat. night thread. This happened last night while I was home and let curiosity get the better of me. I broke my promise to myself to not look for more evidence while in plan B.

I thought to myself, “I wonder if she still has the same Email password at work”. Yup, I broke my promise to myself not to do it, but I did.

There’s the usual Iluvu stuff, but another one that caught my attention. She’s telling someone how she spent an evening with the OM and his two sons! What made it worse is she’s sent the message to one of my friends who lives in the same city as the OM.

So when do I find out from my children that they met mommy’s new friend? I am angry, repulsed and feel cheated upon again. I can not legally prevent her from exposing my children to Dr. Rat Phlegm. My friend does not seem to perceive the amount of pain and destruction that my WW has caused two families and must be a follower of the bumper sticker philosophy of “All’s fair in love and war”.

It was not a good idea. I see now why one should stop snooping when in plan B. If I keep doing this I will be the one to file. I already question my ability to get past this and I can’t see her gain the commitment necessary to work through it even when her relationship crashes.

So here I sit; feeling powerless again. I have nothing to turn to, to even get a modicum of control over that aspect of my children’s future. I feel gut shot again. I want something to make it feel better. I feel rage towards the OM. I want him to hurt. I want to bundle up my kids and get away from this unholy mess.

God help my….and his children

Binder,

Your thread was the one that prompted me to start this thread. My daughter was spared this trauma because of an agreement her dad and I had that our daughter would not be subjected to any outside romatic interests, or his affair partner which we both honored for six years, until he married a really great girl.

If he had not honored that I don't know what I would have done. Gone insane probably. I hate to see kids hurt in this way more than they already are.

I am hoping through this thread that even one WS would wake up and start thinking about their kids and what they are doing to them.

Hope everyone chimes in.

My WW kissed the OM twice in the same night in front of my kids. My 6yo daughter told me about it right away, and told me it made her feel sick. She also told me that she and and my 3yo son wanted to sleep with thier mommy, and who was laying in bed? OM. I am having such a struggle trying to Plan A, and keep my negative emotions in tact, when she is flaunting him in front of my kids. I don't know what would happen, if OM and I were in the same room right now...but the picture in my mind isn't pretty.

And Binder, I know how you feel about your ability to get past this and not file. I struggle with being madly in love with my WW one minute, and in the next, almost hating her and wanting to file for divorce, alimony, child support, have her committed, and sue her and the OM for emotional distress and what not. Especially after my WW admitted to some of the things she and the OM have done together in bed. It is a constant state of inner turmoil.

My daughter deals with it in similar fashion. Her grades at school follow this pattern: A,C,A,C,A,C,A,C...etc. Sometimes 2 A's in a row, sometimes 2 C's. So she has good days, and bad days when it comes to dealing with this. I warned her teacher right away what was going on, so she would know. It was embarassing to say "Well, my W and I just split up because of an affair she is having with OM from work, so if you see my daughter having trouble..."

Man, now I'm p1ss3d.

bumpup

My wh told me not too long ago that the ow and my 7 yr old son have a special bond and I should not keep them apart. One of my boundries I set is that she is not to call our home or come to our house. This was his response after she broke my "rules". Now that I have more proof of the A I was wondering if I could file a restraining order against the OW so that she can nolonger come around my children.

My wh told me not too long ago that the ow and my 7 yr old son have a special bond and I should not keep them apart. One of my boundries I set is that she is not to call our home or come to our house. This was his response after she broke my "rules". Now that I have more proof of the A I was wondering if I could file a restraining order against the OW so that she can nolonger come around my children.

If I had that option I'd be all over it!

Whoami,

Get in touch with a lawyer right away. The OW should not have any access to your child, let alone a "special bond". If I were you I would most assuredly be looking into a restraining order!


weaver

Restraining orders against quite a few people, including OM when he gets out of jail, will definitely be a topic of discussion with the attorney tomorrow. If my WW wants to hang out with degenerates, I'm am going to do my best that she does that alone.

My WW's exposure of the OM to the kids, makes it hard for me to keep my cool.
For example:

"I told you that I didn't want them anywhere near OM and WW's coworker/roommate. He is sleeping with an underage girl, under YOUR roof!" (I bet my WW curbs that for now)

"You said you couldn't visit the kids up here, because it wouldn't be like visiting them, with me, your dad, and your (non A having) sister around. Yet, both times you have had them down there with you, the same band of !@$#%*@! are there everytime! And your one "friend", was busted for MJ plants months ago! GO FIGURE!!!" (nothing will change, but her guard is probably up now)

Me:"There is beer drinking around the kids every time they are there!" (I don't mind it occasionally, but thats all my kids see when they are there, before and after we moved out)

WW: "I did not drink any beer!!!"

Me: "Well our DD did tell me that, but the rest of those !@$&*! were!!!!!" (now, they'll drink beer in cups or something, so bottles aren't visible)

A few days ago, I say:
"I don't want the kids to be around OM, or anyone else having an A, can we agree on that?"

WW:(without hesitation)"NO! OM is a part of my life now, so NO!"

And the other day:
Me:"Our DD told me she felt sick when she saw you an OM kissing."

WW:"OH SHE DID NOT!"

Me:"Uh, yes, she did. That is what she told me. Are you calling her a liar?"

WW:.......

If my WW can't get out of the fog enough for the kids, then its war. She knows that she has hurt them...how can she not? But she goes on, doing her thing... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Someday, she will have to answer to her children for what she has done to us.

Also, my DD has been complaining of stomach aches lately, since all this crap started, I have read other posts from BS's with kids who have noted the same thing. So, WS's currently in an A, with kids involved, please use common sense. It STRESSES THEM OUT, and it ROBS THEM OF SOME OF THIER INNOCENCE to see something like that, warping their views! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Dimmu:
<strong> WW:(without hesitation)"NO! OM is a part of my life now, so NO!"
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yeah mine has pulled this line on me...so what do you say to them when they say this?

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Dimmu:
WW:(without hesitation)"NO! OM is a part of my life now, so NO!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yeah mine has pulled this line on me...so what do you say to them when they say this? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Its a tough one to deal with. In my case, a restraining order may be easy, because of the circumstances (WW's house getting raided, OM is currently in jail, has a criminal history, makes my DD feel uncomfortable to be with WW).

My DD knows he is in jail, as does my DS. All I can do is talk to my WW about it, and see what the attorney says I can do, when I see him later.

Some WS's have no grip on reality, whatsoever...it is a sad thing... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />