Hey All,
Well will go to attorney's ofc. today pay out my detainment fee and get my separation packet. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
Made one last futile effort to WW last night that we don't need to do this and that i feel it is not right and that it is almost like no turning back once papers are signed and legalized. WW response was who says we can't turn back, just because we signed them doesn't mean we can't possibly reconcile in the future. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
WW stated crying, Just give me to Jan. to work my feelings out for OM. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
I pretty much told her that we have a connection our two sons, and that it goes deeper than that, stuff that was real notible this weekend. WW states she feels it was good this weekend because we don't have this dark cloud over us and we have decided to separate. Still stating loves me for our past and as a person, but pretty much cannot go to bed with me??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Fog talk.
And do i want to live with someone who cannot give me that need. Kept trying to tell her that will come later other issues to be dealt with first. In one ear out the other.
This morning i am reflecting on her comments and it is almost like saying, "Hey if the new corvette (like to think of OM as a Gremlin)doesn't work out i will go back the old dependable glunker." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Of course WW probably has no idea that this is how this sounds to me.
So i told her i will get the separation papers, so you can be happy. Told her i need to find someone who will be happy with me,and who i am,and my needs and performance in bed. Stated i thought i found that person 14 years ago i guess i was wrong. Told her hope u have a happy life with OM. Told her OM is your priority now not me, therefore u need to get all your needs met by him. WW states but i don't want us to hate each other and never be amicable. Told her i will never hate you but i am not going to let you cake eat neither. WW states even if Om wasn't in picture she would still feel the same with me, and if things don't work out with her and Om that that doesn't mean she is going to run back to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Told her good don't expect you too I said you need to work out your issues on your plate and meet some of my some of the things i would need before i could consider it. Gave her ex. NC,Ncletter,Earning my trust back, pro help in figuring why you keep drifting.
WW didn't say much. I stated that you can't get those feelings back for me now, what makes you think you will have them in Jan. WW stated well then go with a year not Jan. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
She is messed up in her head, she battling between what her brain is telling her and her feelings in her heart, but she keeps going with the feelings in her heart so i give up. Separation packet will be started tonight, WW should move out Sun. So tired of this, maybe this is what we need to break from each other. She even admitted something to fact that we can learn to appreciate other more. I stated kind of hard to do that when in you are in a relationship with OM, again no comments from Ww.
Jets

What is a "detainment" fee?

Made one last futile effort to WW last night that we don't need to do this and that i feel it is not right
Then why are you doing it?

<small>[ October 18, 2004, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Hey Chris,
Why am i am i doing this?
Because i am tired of this being onesided. I am tired of being told that I can't love you like i should. Tired of her saying that i cannot get those feelings back for you to have SF with you.
I am tired of hearing her say, even if OM wasn't in the picture it wouldn't change how i feel about you. I have been feeling like this for last three years and am now finally brave enough to do something about it.
So if is going to make her happy to be out of this M then i going give her what she wants.
I am also tired of her not wanting to participate in efforts to save our marriage, very one sided has been mostly since DD.
detainment fee is a first time fee to a lawyer for separation write up.
The reason why i am obtaining the attorney and she is not is financial.
jets

Are you referring to a "retainer"?
This is simply up-front money you give to a lawyer when you hire them. Has nothing to do with why you hire them.

Why not simply go to Plan B?

Chris,
sorry i guess i got the term mixed up.
I am going to plan B. WW already has apt. that she is moving stuff out. WW conts. to see OM, will not write NC letter. We are just legalizing this. Seperation in VA is a year time before you can file for DV.
I am planning on sending her the plan b letter on the day she moves out.