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#1209345 10/19/04 03:51 PM
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I have lost 25lbs in 4 1/2 months. Forcing myself to eat at least once...trying for 2 times a day. My daughter is getting sick of eating microwaveable stuff! lol Had a salad yesterday....it was really good. But sometimes food just has no appeal whatsoever. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

WH likes BBW.....hope he doesnt try and push those implants he wants me to get! lol

#1209346 10/19/04 04:42 PM
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Hi Restarting & all,

I lost 35 lbs in 2 months. Put 20 back on once we were well into recovery, now taken 10 of those back off. I'd like to get those other 10 off, too.

It's the worlds WORST, yet most effective diet... sorry...

#1209347 10/19/04 08:52 PM
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<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I'm so glad to bring a little laughter into our lives! I know I've enjoyed the bittersweet tang of the 'benefits'. (gotta keep lookin' for them!)

Maybe bc I insist on looking for the good in the worst that happens to us? (painful Paollyanna)

Boy, can I identify with each and every one of you!

that feels good.

Thanks for all the updates and input.

#1209348 10/20/04 07:17 AM
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Well, I'm the lone exception, it seems. Funny, though, my H gained about 20 pounds after D-day.

So -- between the two of us, there was 60 extra pounds.

Cherished

#1209349 10/20/04 08:28 AM
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When people ask me how I lost the weight - I replied - forget the South Beach Diet, Atkins, etc. "The Adultery Diet" worked for me....

I lost about 20 - I'm down to what I weighed in high school..Finding a size 4 is tough..I have gained 5 back which I needed to do..WH said I looked like a scarecrow..nice huh...said my face was sagging - well, thanks to a little botox and restylane I look better now...

Actually, I think I look better than I ever have..some men still prefer thin women..though, my WH doesn't seem to have a preference..hahhaha as long as it's not me - they all look good..

#1209350 10/22/04 09:17 AM
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I'll pipe in here...

My wayward wife has lost more than she can afford. At 5'7" and 118 lbs she looked great. Now she is down to 107 and she can't find clothes smaller than size 4. All this in 2 months

I lost 12 lbs in the last month and at 5'8" I probably shouldn't weigh in at 133.

Interestingly enough, since we have decided to try and put our 28yr marriage back together, we both seem to have an appetite again but the pounds aren't going back on.

As an aside, SHE LOOKS EVEN BETTER NOW than when she was a tubby 118!

brian

#1209351 10/23/04 07:25 PM
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the "loose bowels" thing has me ROTFL....

Gawd. How'd we EVER get this rediculous?

Yep. We're all a real piece of work.

Size 4 IS hard to find - NOW. (It seems that when I was a 10, 12, 14 it was all that was left!)

Speaking of rediculous, how' bout finding yourself and finding out you actually LIKE yourself?

#1209352 10/23/04 09:28 PM
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I lost 10-15 lbs and also dropped under 100 for a 5'4" athlete...NOT HEALTHY! I felt nauseated ever time I thought of my WH with OW. I expended more energy crying than I did training for Ironman. I also didn't have the will to go grocery shopping or cook and I am a Registered Dietitian...ugh. People still comment how tiny I am...am working on gaining weight...have put back on about 5 lbs from my lightest, which was about 97 lbs. I know I lost primarily lean body weight. In fact, anytime you quickly lose weight which it sounds like we all have, the majority of the weight is water/metabolically active muscle mass which is unhealthy especially for those of us who were at a healthy weight or on the slight end to begin with. I have been eating lots of calorically dense foods...like nuts, avocado, hummus, dairy, dried fruit, juice...to help put the pounds back on. Sometimes, my friends/family cannot believe how much food I can dispose of in a day's span!

Happy eating <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-K

Me: 28 yo FW
Him: 30 yo WH
Married: 3.5 years, together 5 years
His Affair: 4 months last fall, ended 1/04; he dropped bomb and left me 5/04, been separated ever since; he admits to dating, I am NOT; no divorce papers filed thank god!

#1209353 10/23/04 09:35 PM
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When I heard Peggy Vaughan speak at the Smart Marriages conference, she said that the infidelity diet is so severe that you lose weight faster than you would on a complete starvation diet. Because of that, I think it's more than just the loose bowels. (I hated it when I realized I knew what the phrase "her bowels turned to water" REALLY meant...) My guess would be that it's your body kicking you into incredibly high fight-or-flight gear, with adrenaline running through you ALL the time.

I don't have a scale, so can only approximate what happened to me. I think I was about 180 when things went to heck. I dropped, in about two months, to about 155. And then, over the course of the following six months, gained up to about 195. My healthy body weight is about 165, so I'm way above that now. All in all, I don't recommend this as a way to lose weight. The metabolic damage that goes with it has got to be pretty severe.

For those who are in the middle of it, here's what worked for me:

- GNC Protein shakes. Make them with whole milk and put a frozen banana in the blender, too.

- Ice cream (but dangerous -- this is how I gained a lot of weight afterwards)

- Milk. Whole milk, usually, or chocolate milk. If you're not lactose intolerant, milk is probably the most digestable complete food (with protein, carbs, and fat in decent proportions).

- Eat with someone who can watch you and make sure that you actually take in enough calories. My brothers, during the absolute worst of it, would hand me bits of chocolate or apple or something and then watch me eat it. Even if I could only take one bite, they made me do that much.

The other part of the infidelity diet is the lack of sleep. We had a newborn who showed up a few weeks early at the same time as some of this stuff, so I was utterly sleep-deprived. Do whatever you can to get sleep. Exercise will help, and if you can make yourself do it, weight lifting will help with the sleep. If you still can't, then get to a doctor and get a mild sleep-assist. You can't do this when your body is falling apart.

#1209354 10/23/04 11:03 PM
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Clearly I'm not doing this right...I gained 15 pounds and had to buy new pants just to go to work. I'm the queen of emotional eating. Never met a cookie I didn't like <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1209355 11/02/04 07:39 PM
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Went to the dr. today, and lost 9 lbs. in the last 2 weeks. I think most of that was the last week however. There is a silver lining.

#1209356 11/17/04 09:10 PM
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Though through a few months now, still see the "silver lining" ... will probably look into plastic surgery soon to 'fill out' those poor, deflated neglectees......

Doesn't look like WH will care.

Doesn't look like WH will be around....

WH is so wrapped up in himself....

OK.

Me, too.

#1209357 11/17/04 09:59 PM
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Yup, that infidelity diet work like a hot darn!

First EA, 3 years ago, I was GI-NORMOUS! Lost 50 pounds in 3 months. And then dieted, exercised off another 135 pounds in 8 months.

Yup, it was a HUGE wake up call for me. It was the only good thing that came out of that time. My emotional eating was sooo out of control. Then I finally saw that I was hurting myself with my eating, I became quite health concious, ate the right things, stopped smoking, etc.

This time, I have lost about 10 pounds. And working VERY hard to put it back on. I don't have that much excess fat to lose. I am 5'9" and weighed about 140. Size 6 or 8. Hard to eat though. Everything tastes like dirt, or dry or tasteless.

So I am back smoking and drinking my 3 morning capucinnos. Then I am done til I get home and force myself to make dinner for me and DD. BLECH!

#1209358 11/17/04 11:07 PM
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Yep, last year at this time, food had no taste and I had no appetite. I lost something just under 20lbs and ended up at 5'9" and around 115lb. Nothing fit. Even 4's were too big when it came to my business wardrobe. Thank goodness it happened during the winter and I covered a lot of it up with bulky things!

I couldn't afford to lose too much, so I lived for about a month on Ensure. I could chug it quickly and if I drank 2-3 a day, I knew I was at least getting some vitamins and proteins. Had I not drank that, I probably would have ended up in the hospital.

But now...I've gained all the weight back and have added a couple more pounds to it because I love rice and have been eating a lot of it now that I'm alone. I'm not heavy yet at 130lb, but in a way it was nice when I was still underweight, to be able to eat anything I wanted once my appetite came back.

So, enjoy the silver lining from a very painful situation, I suppose, while it lasts. It won't last forever.

LL

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