Have posted earlier under another alias, but think my H is 'snooping' on me to 'get back' at me.
reader's digest version -- PA has been going on now for 8 months. It started 2.5 years ago as a freindship then EA.
I discovered and exposed the affair back in September. He has continued to promise NC all through these weeks. I have plan A'd very well, but still lies and still he sees her.
It's getting to where it doesn't hurt as much and I'm beginning to wonder if I should bother to keep the effort up. I think it's time for Plan B, don't you?
Please review my Plan B?
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dear WH,
When I met you, I ‘knew’ within the very depths of my soul that you were the right one for me. For the first time in my life, I listened to my heart and not my head, and my heart was right. I’ve enjoyed being your best friend and lover and being the mother of our two wonderful (or soon to be wonderful) children. I’ve always loved your quirky sense of humor. Please know that I love you still and want to work to rebuild our marriage – not restore what we once had, but better. My heart is burdened by the situation we are in.
I know and recognize my part in contributing to this affair. I neglected to devote all my time, energy and passion to sustain what we once had and once enjoyed so much together. I offer my apologies and sincere regret for having missed the times you tried to tell and asked me to understand your unhappiness and unfulfilled needs. I honestly believe, had we both noticed and worked on our marriage sooner, we would not be in the situation. I regret having not noticed the changes we were going through and especially for not having the good sense to change my own habits and approach sooner.
Perhaps you have noticed some of the changes I’ve made in myself and my actions and my thoughts. I can only hope you can see that I am willing to work on my issues now to have a happy, healthy and strong marriage and partnership.
I’ve given you many opportunities to end your involvement with OP, asking you to do all that you can to make it impossible for her to have contact with her and for you to tell me when she tries and what you do. It is with a heavy heart that I must recognize that although you promised to do these things and to take every action possible, you have refused to go through with it.
Your choices and actions are a better indicator of your intentions than your words and promises are and they are draining away my love and respect for you. In the future, with your commitment and mine, I know we both can learn things from all of this, be able to forgive, move forward, mend and strengthen. I truly believe we can rebuild our marriage that it can be better and stronger. We have before us an opportunity to have a marriage where we both feel loved, safe, cherished, honored and respected again.
Therefore, in order to protect what love and respect I do still have for you, I need to have no contact with you until you break it off – completely - with OP. If in the future you do decide that you would like to fully commit to our marriage then I would be open to discuss it with you. I will need to know you are fully committed and have solid assurances you are no longer in contact with OP and that she will no longer be a part of your life – our lives.
I hope you will, in time, choose to work with me on the rescue and rebuilding of our wonderful love for one another and the marriage we know we can have. Please, respect my request that you not call me or see me until you’ve made that choice. The only contact that I will accept when you leave is by email regarding our children and finances only.
I truly love you and believe in you. I know that we have a beautiful future together. As I have told you before, I know that you are a good man and I know in your heart you remain an honorable man. I know you are hurting deeply. I know that you feel I don’t deserve any of this and you just want it behind you. Me, too. I love you and want to have our marriage together. Let’s do it hand in hand.
I love you,
BS
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, I have resorted to copy and paste of those one's I've found and felt reflected what I wanted to say.
Your thougths are welcome.
