In the thread of aussiewife Rosiepiesix had the following post
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place to post this question, but I've been looking for a topic and this is the closest I've found.

My H has had an affair (for 2 years!) with another woman which I recently found out about. He is in love with her and this has pretty much destroyed a 21 year marriage (among other lies).

I now know about it, but the OW's husband does not. Do I contact him and tell him? I must admit, I am very tempted to do so, call it vengence if you wish. I have his address and phone number, and I actually called it one day but no one answered.

Truth be told, I want her marriage to suffer as much as mine has over the past 6 months. My marriage is ending, four children, 21 years, no future together.

Has anyone thought this through? I need some advice on this please</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Rosie some may tell you to examine your motives, but I believe you tell all. No matter your reason the OP deserves to know. I must admit I have not told, but I have told the OM if there is any contact as much a a wave, smile of "Hi" his wife will know all. So far NC.

I my case it was not a PA, extremely short lived, and my W left the job well before DD. Still I regret not telling his W.

Tell. You have too. I am the H of a W that had an A. The Other Man's wife phoned me and told me. I was destroyed. I did not know about nothing. Although my marriage were going funny, I though it was just a phase. But when the other man’s wife told me, I lost my breath and thought I am going to faint (And I am a strong man, or so I thought). But today I am so glad that she phoned me.

No you owe it to phone her H and tell him.

Listen ... YOU HAVE TOO!!!

Rosie, telling the OW's husband is one of the most effective methods of ending the affair. You should expose the affair to her husband, your family, his family, your friends and possibly his workplace. An affair usually can't survive long when the secrecy is removed.

I would suggest making a list of all persons who should be contacted [just close friends and family who are key in your lives] and calling them all in one day. And whatever you do, DON'T tell your spouse you are going to do this or you will ruin this opportunity.

Ye, Melody is right.

When my W's affair came out, I told her to everybody, I mean everybody. When she did not tell them the truth, I created an email and send it to everybody at her workplace. I got into BIG problems with my W, but it worked.

She is still working there but now they have created a more professional working environment and it turned out for the good, I hope. The OM is still working in the same place.

So now that everybody knows, she feels free and her real friends came out. Those who accepted and helped her and those who rejected her.

Do like Nike - "Just do it!"