</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hopefulinnc:
She asked me not to tear up the wedding pictures. She says she doesn't have the room in her car to take them.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Somehow I don't buy that. I beleive that she probably wants you to keep them to remind you of her.

Overall it seems like you did a good job despite the breaking of NC.

Thanks Toomuch coffee. I am trying my best to survive this mess. It is so hard. She is determined to be out of this marriage. So I cannot only watch her go. She might get the wrong impression that I will be here waiting for her. I don't think that is going to happen. I am trying to conduct myself with integrity asnd treat her accordingly. As I told my DD this weekend, I never cheated on her and I did my best to save the marriage. I can and will hold my head up.

Good job, HNC,

You are living your life and doing a great job. You have the freedom and peace of mind to live your life and you are doing it! WS must see you coming and going and all she is probably thinking is I am going to be 50 years old and I've made a mess of my life. Let her stew in her own juices....that is why you should not contact her on her b-day.

I think it is great that you are visiting your kids. They are the real benefactors here. It is lovely that you visited your daughter and just "hung out." Everyone gets so busy in their lives that we overlook the benefit of just being together. Both my parents have passed on and I miss them so much esp. right now. I would do anything for them to just be with me. As a parent-less child right now, thank you for going beyond your own pain and investing time with your kids. The time my parents spend with me in the past is a comfort to me now. So when your kids have hard times in the future, they will remember the weekend that Dad came to just be with them. Priceless.

Kudos to you, NC. Live your life.

<small>[ October 24, 2004, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: SureSurvivor ]</small>

hinc:

I gotta 'fess out. I just LOVE the typos (Freudian slips?) we all put in our posts here from time 2 time:

"She asked me not to tear up the weeding pictures.'

You have pictures of you and her pulling weeds? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yeah, keep those!!!

Still, I think you're doing great, slips or no. You'll be there when your W is ready 2 wake up and smell the roses (unfettered by weeds!)

-ol' 2long

Not weeding picturs-wedding pictures. Sorry for my poor spelling. I just got in a hurry. I dont speek Englisssh vary wall.

hinc:

I know what you meant. It just wasn't as funny as what you said! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-ol' 2long

If you do decide to destroy those weeding pictures are you going to use a weedwhacker? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ October 25, 2004, 12:33 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

Using a weedwacker would be an excellent idea. However, I will respect her wishes and not destroy the wedding album. I can't believe that she doesn't have room for a couple of photo albums. If she wants out so bad why does she care?
She doesn't want to be married to me anymore anyway.

HINC,

Under no circumstances should you destroy your wedding pictures. I mean NONE. If nothing else they are your children's heritage, your grandchildren's heritage. Keep them in a safe place but do NOT destroy them got that? I am serious here.

I know you don't want to look at them because they hurt, but you are NOW the custodian of the family heritage since your W has abdicated her role. In fact I hope you are taking pictures when you visit your children, their kids will enjoy seeing their parents as young adults.

I hope you and your D were able to talk and you could help her some. Is she starting to accept this or is she still mad at this situation? I hope you let her talk things out abit. I think the idea of "hanging out" a great one and DC can be a great place to "hang".

I hope your trip this next weekend will go well and that you will have a good time. So are you polishing up on cooking a turkey? Are you going to invite the kids home for thanksgiving? You are now in charge of this HINC. Enjoy it, relish it, and make sure to create some good memories.

You are doing well HINC. Better than you think so hang in there.

God Bless,

JL

JL, I would never destroy those photos. Your right they are the children's heritage.

I did have a good time with my daughter. i gave her an opportunity to talk to me this weekend and she is still very guarded. I told her that I never cheated on her Mom and that I did all I could to save this marriage. She said I knowyou did Dad. It was interesting because she was hit on by a married man. She refused like the intelligent woman that she is. Told me she told him that there are more people involved than just her and him. Made my heart smile.

The kids will all be coming home for Thanksgiving and yes I am polishing up my cooking skills. My daughter has voluntered to help. So I am looking forward to having them all here. It won't be the same without Mom but Mom chose to leave. All my kids are smart savvy people and know right from wrong. I am especially proud of my daughter right now.

HINC,

That is cool that your kids are coming home for thanksgiving. You may not realize but perhaps you do, YOU have a lot to be thankful for including knowing the reality of your marital situation. I know it sounds odd for someone to say this, but you can now address YOUR happiness with the knowledge of what is going on.

I know we will talk before then, but I think this will be a sad one for you, and a great one for you as well. But, overall you are getting an opportunity to step up for your kids.

God Bless,

JL

My wife who is getting her stuff, said to me just now. "Have you talked to OM's wife?" I said no, I haven't. Well OM dumped me. She called here Friday night, I was visiting DD in DC. Then she walked away. All is not well in paradise. I don't think this will change her mind to leave though. Strange turn of events.

Ah Ha! This is excellent news, very promising. Now you continue with your life, making it as nice as possible.

I think things are going to turn around. Yes, your wife will have to do her "grieving" of the fantasy, and probably be by herself for awhile. Also she will have to realize that she cannot talk to OM everyday. But I think she will come to understand that.

So hang in there, and stay very calm. You are doing great.

Now where will she go? If this is true, that is.

Still, it's good she's "leaving" for a while, at least.

I agree, you're doing well, hinc.

-ol' 2long

HINC,

I would guess you are right she will leave, and it will take months for her to decide what she wants to do. After all this was/is??? a 5 year affair, and as odd as it seems a 28 year marriage somehow doesn't compare. Go figure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

But, I'm thinkin you just might have another guest to invite to Thanksgiving if only for the day. Just steady as she goes HINC. Work on your life and you just never know who may come sailing in with the tide. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Just a thought, I am sure you are glad that that the A is over if in fact it is, but it is hard to see her hurting isn't it?

God Bless,

JL

Yes JL, it is hard to see her hurting. I invited her for dinner last night and all she did was cry. I wondered was she crying because I was so nice or was she crying because OM dumped her? I bet it was the latter.

bump