I feel like my H is on the phone with ow alot i can not confirm this for a 100 percnet but a lot of wierd stuff happens heres what usually ahppens mostly in the last hour or so before he gets off of work...
1. he will either not answer the phone at all or anaswer it and say i'm on a customer call and cant' talk right now.. If he doenst answer it he will email me and say i'm here just still on a customer call..
2. theese calls seem to last all the way until its time for him to leave.
3. he always makes a big production about the call saying this b(t** is cussing me out etc.
4. the one night my duaghter needed to talk to him he siad this is going to be awhile this customers really yelling at me. i siad oh our d needs to talk to you not me then he's likeo h put her on. i was like no you have a customer. i said call me back when your done.. he called back less then a min later. when i asked what happend to his long phone call wit the customer he said she hung up on him....

my dilemma is how to andle this i dont even want to talk to him when he calls me back as i know he will soon i'm fustrated an di'm almost certin he's on the phone with her. any thoughts guys?? thanks!

i dont know how to handle this he should be calling me soon. But i dotn knwo what to do theese are the things i'm dying to do
1. say are you in concatact with ow? b/c i sure feel like something is going on
2. not answering the phone.

i certinatnly dont feel like being nice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> its so hard.

MyLife,

It is very possible that you are correct and he is talking to OW. But that is rather hard to prove since he is at work and you are at home. How is he acting toward you at home? Do you feel like he is still holding back or does it feel like he is making an effort to improve things between the two of you?

If your gut is telling you they are still talking and it feels like he is not into recovery 100% then it is likely that he is indeed spending time talking to her.

My husband spent a few weeks after DDay talking to OW. He swore up an down that he was not. But one day I caught him talking to her at work, and he denied it. I went back to work and called her and confirmed that he had been talking to her (she was more than happy to get a chance to hurt me some more). Up until then he was saying he wanted to stay and be a family but something just didn't feel right. Of course, in hindsight I could see that because he was still in some kind of contact with her, he would listen to her tell him that it wouldn't work and they needed to be together and she kept the doubt alive in him. I told him if he ever talked to her again, I would consider it cheating and our marriage would be over. He never talked to her again. How do I know this? Because I felt his committment. He wanted to start planning trips and talking about our future. It could feel the difference.

I think you know what I am talking about. Even if he is sure that it is safe to talk to her and you will never find out, it will still keep you guys from a real recovery.

Cathy

I agree I feel that he is not totally committed and he is talking to her. someties i just dont know i mean we talk about making trips together and were plannign a cruise on this summer BUT he goes to work and i swear he is talking to her. i just dont feel like he is putting as much effort into it. at t the begging when we got back together he would page my phone all the time with i love yous etc now he doesnt even reply to mine <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . i just feel like things are not right....

last night i screwed up i didnt mention ow but told him things had to change.. He said i dont showe him any respect ... but he did finnaly agree to go to MC so i will be making that appointment.. hopefully that will help.