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I have a pretty good one.
I was in Parma, Italy. The sparrow and OM had their first kiss a few hours before we got on the plane. She was a total jerk from the first minute of the trip, I had no idea why, and one day when I was on my own, I took the train to Parma. Walked around for a while, bought some cheese, then wandered into an Internet cafe. Read my email, then started googling, searching desperately for help. Thought, my M is in trouble, and I have no idea why or what to do. Eventually stumbled across MB.
And here I am, my M on its last legs, but my own self much improved, and still in one piece.
GC
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I was on another website reading posts on a message board about marital problems. Someone referred to MB. I read the concepts and was very impressed.
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I found out about MB from our marriage counselor. I agreed to go to marriage counseling with my then-WS so that I could say that I "tried" when I dumped the bum, which was my intention. And here I am 4 years later!
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lol! I just remembered something! I actually BURST OUT LAUGHING when the counselor told me that men's "top emotional needs" were sex and an attractive spouse!! I couldn't believe anyone would say something so....so....politically incorrect! I couldn't quit laughing that night, I was just shocked that someone would actually say that!
<small>[ October 21, 2004, 09:15 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>
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And beer!
ML, that was lucky, you finding that counselor.
GC
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I was right here the whole time.
Ha, Ha, I have been wanting to do that for years.
Gray, good work with welder boy, you were the right person at the right time.
SS
Oh, I was really at work. It was kind of an accident I found MB. Been good for us though.
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I was physically in my home office but emotionally and spiritually I was in the abyss. No less, near suicidal. And ML(and others) told me that I may not believe it but in time I will feel happy again and there is really hope for me and my marriage if I only stop being a victim and get on the program. Huh, wise @sses... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> {{{{mb}}}} I never dreamed then I would ever be even as happy as I am now. And for the first time in my life this is an EXAMINED happiness. I know the risks this time.
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I am lucky....I found MB on D-day. The computer was my source of pain because I found out about A via email and it was the source of relief because I found MB.
I confronted WH with info I found on A via phone call while he was overseas. After we spoke, I spent the day researching divorces on the computer. Then I researched infidelity and I feel God brought me to MB. I printed out most the articles. I packed them in my briefcase because I left the next morning on a biz trip. I can see myself reading the articles at the airport.
Thank God for MB and the MB board.
How ya doing tonight, GC?
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Thanks for asking, SurSur. I'm okay. Sitting up, listening to records, waiting to see if things are all right for welderboy. I should be asleep.
Bigger picture? I'm sad and frustrated often, but I also feel clean, know what I mean? I'm very tired, very tired. I think my "BS fog" is wearing off.
GC
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I was upstairs in my mom's house in Texas after being thrown out by my WH and having nowhere to stay here in IL. I was so relieved to find a site that had other people who's WS's were acting the same way as mine was. It was nice to know that my H's reactions weren't uncommon at all.
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I know it says I first logged in in Feb, 2002. Maybe it was. I was probably lurking here before that, though. I remember clearly d-day. I found emails by accident while I was at work. I couldn't stop shaking for the longest time. I think I found www.dearpeggy.com before I found this site, but I came here because of the discussion forum. I met with a counselor at work within a few days of d-day, though. Overall, my experiences on the boards has been more valuable (certainly more voluminous) than my counseling experiences. one hour at a time is just not enough when you're in that much pain. -ol' 2long
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I was at work.
It was about 2 months after d-day. We were already in MC but I was still a basket case. I couldn't work, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, etc. I thought I would do a Internet search on infidelity, thinking there had to be something out there somewhere. Like 2long, I think I found Peggy's site first.
I lurked for about a month and then registered.
I am so thankful for finding this site. I remember feeling relieved that I wasn't crazy (because of roller coaster of emotions) and that M's can be saved.
Like ML, my initial plan after d-day was to go to MC to say I tried, show my WS what he was missing out on and what a great W I really am...and then dump him.
We're still together and workin' it!
sss
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I was in a book store and bought Dr Harley's Book...the site was on the back inside jacket. I don't know how I would have made it without the support I got. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and post. Reading and knowing what was likely happening betwwen FWS and OW made the not knowing easier. THe more I hang around, the more I see that these affairs have patterns, and if the BS can or wants to stick it out, most WSs do come home.
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i was out of computer access for about a week after dday but as soon as i got back from confronting my H and went back to work where i had computer access i just started to search after search on the internet. i would put things in like "saving your marriage" "stopping divorce" "marriage and infidelity" etc. and eventually found MB. I think after reading a couple of days is when i registered.
I would ditto what graycloud says "And here I am, my M on its last legs, but my own self much improved, and still in one piece." and would go on to say that i feel i'm a better "one piece" now and also have some peace knowing that i did all i could and don't regret anything i have done or didn't do since finding MB. a lot of that goes to the credit to SH who i counseled w/for about 6 months.
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It was a couple weeks after D-day and I was basically a zombie. I couldn't get anything done at work so I just surfed the net and found this site. I printed out everything and read it. A week or so later I discovered these boards. This place has been my saving grace during this time.
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I think it was a week after delivering my DD, I was surfing the web for divorce and typed in affair, and there was MB. I feel like it has been a godsend. I would definitely be D by now if it weren't for MB, the boards and especially SH. Fogman and I have done the EN and LB questionairres twice now, and it's interesting how different they are when compared. He can't even fill out the LBusters because I don't do them anymore!!! He's still not home though, so ultimately it's a waiting game right now.
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Well, I found MB a little differently...
My FWH had been caught in the act... FWH told me about a "No contact Letter" to OW and all these other ideas he had to change our marriage. I was wondering where all of this came from. The next day after he went to work, I checked the history to where he had been on the internet, and he had been here at MB reading!! He even subscribed to the newsletter. I read everything and posted on the forum. (He also went to other marriage help sites).
I post and read here all the time, he doesn't. He just read enough to try and get himself out of trouble and one step in the right direction.
lol, I found MB after my FWH found it first.
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I was in a very very dark place when I found MB, almost exactly 1 month after d-day. This is where I got the very wise advice to get some anti-d's, and that was a turning point for me. Once I calmed down to have rational thoughts, I was able to move forward with my own personal recovery. Up to that point, I was so out-of-control, I didn't know which way was up, if I for sure wanted my M anymore even if H ever did come home, and I had no PLAN.
MB gave me support, a PLAN, a safe place to vent and ask question and seek advice.
SS
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Thanks for mentioning the ADs, SS. I was urged by people here to go on them. The day after my WW said she wanted a D, I went straight to the doctor. I don't know how I'd have done without them. It was a scary few days.
GC
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Shoot - if I knew after d-day what I've learned from MB, I highly doubt dwh and I would have a 2nd oc. I found MB about 6 mo after the second bomb (d-day#2) was dropped.
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