Ok I am in a full on Plan A and it is going really well. I did one major LB on monday -- listening to wh vm and confirming the A, confronting him and ow. He was very pissed -- I had no angry outbursts. I just told him i need to know the truth and I feel better now that I know. wh and ow still deny the A. Ok here is the questions. Is it ok to bring up the ow -- I have been really good not to bring her up but I did this morning in a light manner. I was

not finished <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Sorry someone came into my office and I must have clicked something.

Anyway tell me should I not bring up the ow or the denied A. Also I found out this morning that she picked up my son from school the day I confronted them. She is not suppose to come to my house anymore. --How do I put my foot down with out LBing?

Hi whoami31,

Defining one's boundaries is NOT LB ing. If OW is persona non grata, put your foot down...define your boundary. Plan "A" is not about making WS happy or feel good. Plan "A" is a strategy to end the affair...by all means possible.

How is it that OW can pick your son up at school?

Put your foot down by slapping a restraining order on her.

Ron and Weaver

You are right. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Hugh ----i hate confrontations but they have to respect this one. I think I will threaten a restraining order this time around --that should scare her. Do I tell her or my wh?

Are you in contact with her?

I would send a short email to her and CC your WH.

Short and to the point --

Please stay away from my children and my home or I will be forced to impose legal measures A call has already been placed to the school that you are no longer allowed around my child.

I love my husband and so do our children ...and I intend to fight for him, and to keep my family intact.

-------------------------------------------------
And then call the school for starters.

<small>[ October 22, 2004, 01:47 PM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>

whoami31

Please read noodle's words here. I think they're applicable to you.

Personally, I like the restraining order...has alot of "pucker" (as in sphincter) factor!

Well I did it -- Not a diplomatically as you suggested Weaver but it is done. I left a message on my WH vm Sunday evening (he was MIA since 3am that morning) and a message on her vm. My message to her was quite out of character many people tell me that one of my greatest qualities is that I am nice to everyone, I don't get mad. Well I had been nice to the OW up until now. It has taken me 8 months to get mad. I told her as she knows she is not to call my house, come to my house and to stay away from my children. If I find out that she has I will file a restraining order on her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Then I told her I wanted her sick family breaking habits away from my children. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Well my WH came home at 3am that morning told me that he doesn't think I can file a restraining order on her. I said you are probably right if it happens I will have to make a descision. Then last night he told me what I said was uncalled for. I said no it was overdue. Then I said you are going to have to choose between your friendship with Melissa or me. And he said that was unfair is that what you are going to tell my son -- I said don't pull that power play on me (my IC said that was what he was doing). Then we changed the subject and that was it. I am on two days of no sleep and don't know where to go from here.

Did I LB? Our conversations are never really heated anymore. Which is strange because he is a hot head. It like he knows he is in the wrong but can't get out of the fog. I know if I just hang in there this will end. I hope. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> --My lack of sleep is making optimism difficult.