While cleaning kitchen pill basket - I found a bottle of VALTREX - WTF - It looked like the original perscription was from 11-2003 then recently refilled..I have never seen this in my house before...

My WH did have a case of shingles on his neck about 2 years ago - firgured it was stress related. I cannot remember what the dr. gave him - but they did clear up.

Then last Dec. he had a rash on is "bottom"..He claimed he had no idea - personally, I figured "cheap sheets" "cheap hotel rooms". He used an otc cream (dummy me bought) and it cleared up. It would come and go - depending if he saw his gf or not...

NOW - I find this - When he got out of the shower this am - I did notice him "looking at himself"..ok I thought - please - you ain't all that...then I found the valtrex.

Could it be genital herpes???? Yes, he's been with many OW in the past year or so. I kept warning him that he's gonna catch something...but, the narcissist personality comes out and says - NOT ME....

Thank God if it is herpes - that he shut me out sexually years ago..Though, last Feb. we did have sex..hope he didn't have it back then..

Or could it be shingles but not where I could easily see it this am...He does get cold sores now and then but he's never got a script for them - nor does he have them now...

Or is this God's 2X4 that I've been praying for?? Though, with his arrogance - he'll blame the OP rather than say - If I wouldn't have been having MA's this wouldn't have happened..If I would have only had SF w/my wife - this wouldn't have happpened...

How can I figure out what he has??? I don't even wanna ask him....Talk about lies or WWIII...look out... Boy, if he gave it to anyone - look out if their BS finds out where they got it - I won't need to call any BS - they will be knocking on my door...

This is a total blow today..that's all I can think about.....my WH never goes to the dr..to begin with..though, he probably felt like "A MAN"..with this health issue..hahahha

BOY - If it is herpes, I hope he doesn't tell his partners that he got it from me...He's such a liar that's probably what he'll say..Rather than he's a philandering, serial cheat..and hasn't a clue since he has soooooooo many OW...

You don't need a break out to pass it. Safe sex is always good precaution with WS if you choose to do so. HSV could be dormant for years w/o outbreak. You might have ti but you will never sure until you have outbreak and send samples to the lab.

If it is HSV-1, you could catch it in kissing !, specially french kiss. Educate yourself asap.

I would ask him straight. No LB'ed but ask him straight forward. You know he has it. Doctor won't prescribe Valtex for anything else but HSV+.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> too bad "DUTY TO WARN" is not extented to HSV+ . But is has been known that it could cause cancer in women.

-rh-

<small>[ October 22, 2004, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Ithurts:

I am sorry to have to be positng to you. I am a Medical Doctor and I can pretty much assure you that it is herpes. He probably has had it for some time and uses it (valtrex) to supress outbreaks or he may take it for a 7-14 day period when he has an outbreak. Outbreaks are not always the typical genital lesions that the public thinks they are. Many times, they can appear as buttock rashes or pimples. A full 25% of US sexually active adults have HSV II which is the virus that causes the "warts" and don't know it. This is a virus that NEVER goes away. Simply stated, it "lives" in the nerves, and causes outbreaks at times of stress or immunosupression. You can NEVER have unprotected sexual intercourse with him again if you want to remain Herpes free. If he had sex with you during a period when he did not have an outbreak, then your chances of contracting it are slim, but still possible. The disease is NOT life threatning, and with Valtrex, can be managed quite well. Anyone in my office who ever has ANY STD always gets a full STD screening including HIV testing. This is mandatory, and you should do the same. Please let me know if you have any other questions. I am sorry that I have to be answering this thread to you. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Valtrex could be used for shingles....I know that when my 12 year old daughter had them they gave her Zovirax, a drug that is usually used for herpes, also if he had a rash on his butt that cleared up with an over the counter cream.....it was not herpes. Checking himself out "down there" does seem suspicious though....The cold sores are a different kind of herpes, not the sexually transmitted kind, my 68 year old Mom gets cold sores, those are from people who don't have the resistance to that particular type of herpes.

According to Web MD: Valtrex or Valacyclovir(actual drug name) is used in the treatment and suppression of genital herpes, shingles, and cold sores.

I hope this helps ya!

-Caren

I think that it is a good idea for ALL BS's to get STD testing. I plan on having a full STD screening at the free clinic, because of my WW...she can't be trusted, and she won't be clear on whether or not she used condoms with the OM...or any OM she might have been able to keep secret...scary stuff indeed.

It is especially wise to get tested, if your WS acts like this (this was a yahoo IM chat with WW from the other night):

ME: I have the right to know what went on behind my back. I will be going to the free clinic to be tested for STD's soon.

ME: Did you and OM use protection?

WW: nothing went on behind your back

ME: If I was having an affair that was out in the open, I wouldn't be as secretive as you are. It is very suspicious.
ME: You let the whole world know about your affair, so what is the big deal?

WW: what?

ME: Did you and OM use protection?

WW: go get tested

ME: What kind of answer is that?
ME: Is this a game to you?

WW: then you will know the answer

ME: What are you saying?
ME: Do you like it when I feel nervous?

WW: do you like it when i am upset?

ME: No, you know I don't like it when you are upset. I did not create this situation. Why are you upset?
ME: Do we have an STD or what?

WW: no
WW: im busy chat later

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I have faith that everything is ok, but you never know. I implore all BS's...go get tested.

I agree with LM....

Herpes simplex = highly likely

Look at the date on the prescription bottle. Was it filled 2 years ago when he had zoster (shingles)? Are there future refils available? (usually will say on the label, or call the pharmacy and ask if refils pre-authorized)

And here is my point ---> ask him. "I found your medication to treat herpes. How long have you had herpes?" (Don't ask him if he has herpes, ask how long he's had it.... and stay calm. He's probably not too proud of having it.

Take care.

Pep

<small>[ October 23, 2004, 10:28 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Lemon? Sorry, I didn't read your post until after I'd just written this first one. I have a question though......why are you telling her that Valtrex is only used for sexually transmitted herpes when it is also used for Herpes Zoster (Shingles)???? For that matter I know that Zovirax is also used for shingles and for varicella-zoster virus (Chicken Pox).

Given his alleged history of sex with OW, yes, it's a likely possibility that he has herpes, and possibly other STD's, but it IS NOT the only reason that Valtrex is prescribed.

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CarenMc:
<strong> Lemon? Sorry, I didn't read your post until after I'd just written this first one. I have a question though......why are you telling her that Valtrex is only used for sexually transmitted herpes when it is also used for Herpes Zoster (Shingles)???? For that matter I know that Zovirax is also used for shingles and for varicella-zoster virus (Chicken Pox).

Given his alleged history of sex with OW, yes, it's a likely possibility that he has herpes, and possibly other STD's, but it IS NOT the only reason that Valtrex is prescribed.

-Caren </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Zoster infection 2 years ago is not very likely to cause him problems at his time. Most healthy adults recover completely from zoster .... the very old and people with other health problems can have residual problems following zoster ... usually nerve pain. Treated with other drugs.

Pep

<small>[ October 23, 2004, 10:34 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Here's the deal....and Dr. Lemonman can verify this: Shingles (herpes zoster) rarely recurs except in people with immune deficiency diseases or cancer...so the chances are much much higher (if he's been using this for some time and is refilling)...that he has herpes. I'm thankful that you haven't had unprotected sex with him....but why don't you ask him about the herpes? That "rash" on his bottom could definitely be a herpes outbreak, and probably is.

I'm not ruling out herpes, just saying it's not the ONLY reason someone could be on Valtrex...it is of course the most likely reason. Valtrex is also used for people with cold sores.

I'm not trying to contradict anyone, just simply saying that it's not the ONLY reason it's used....would I have unprotected sex with him, knowing he's taking Valtrex....hell no.

I wasn't trying to be a smart-A, just wanted to make sure she knew that wasn't the ONLY reason someone would take it. I'm always looking for the "up" side of everything.....LOL, I always research every avenue, I never want to accuse anyone of anything I'm not 100% sure of. I would definitely walk up to him with the Valtrex and say, okay.......and you're taking this because?

I don't know how this stuff works with the new federal privacy laws, but it used to be when someone had a VD, the health department informed any sexual partners...of course the person would have to divulge this information. My ex husband (been divorced for 17 years) got some veneral disease after we had split up, and he told the health department that I was one of his past sexual partners. His OW was claiming that I had given it to him, and that he gave it to her....that's a laugh, anyway, I had just gotten back from my yearly OB-GYN appointment when my H called and said he had VD, I was like OH FANTASTIC, so I called my doctor immediately and told him I hadn't had any sexual contact with him since I knew about the OW, but I had no idea if it had been going on before I knew about it. He said I could come back in and take the test, or he could just call something in to the pharmacy for me....I opted to just take the meds and not go back in. The health department called me shortly after I'd gotten the prescription, and told me I needed to come in and be tested, I said "No, I was treated by my doctor" They made me dig the prescription bottle out of the trash (it was something where you just took it all at once) and give them the information off of it. I have been out of the multiple partner business for a long, long time, so I have never been treated for anything else, and I can't believe I can't remember what on earth he had....guess it's just been too long. I do know that I told him I better NEVER see the OW again, because I would throttle her for telling people I was the one who was responsible for giving him, therefore her the VD.....arrrrrgh.

Does anyone know if the new HIPAA laws allow the health department to still call people? I mean I don't know but if it's the people's family doctor, and the doctor KNOWS that he's married, it's messed up that he's not allowed to tell the spouse.

Oh well...I just ramble don't I??? LOL Anyway No offense to anyone...I wasn't trying to act like I know everything and you fine people don't....just wanted clarification I guess.

Sorry and Thanks,

-Caren

Caren...you didn't offend anybody at all chere! Don't go worrying about that. I understood what you wrote and thought you had a good contribution.

ITHURTS,

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say that your marriage was the result of an affair and that your now H was the OM in your previous marriage?

Thanks for all the replies -

Wh does get cold sores (lip area) from the sun or when he has a cold.

I get cold sores too - I've had them since I was young - the dr. did give me Zovorax years ago which I only take when I have an outbreak. I rarely get them anymore..Maybe 1 a year if that.

As soon as I saw the bottle I checked the web and it did say Valtrex is used to treat - herpes, shingles or cold sores..That's why I'm wondering WHAT DOES HE HAVE - since he has had shingles (once) and does get cold sores..Though the last 2 times he had CS (4 months ago)on his lip he asked for some of my Zovorax (I said I didnt' have any) I know that's mean but it kept him for going out with OP for SF...

Thanks for all the replies -

Wh does get cold sores (lip area) from the sun or when he has a cold.

I get cold sores too - I've had them since I was young - the dr. did give me Zovorax years ago which I only take when I have an outbreak. I rarely get them anymore..Maybe 1 a year if that.

As soon as I saw the bottle I checked the web and it did say Valtrex is used to treat - herpes, shingles or cold sores..That's why I'm wondering WHAT DOES HE HAVE - since he had shingles (once) and does get cold sores..Though the last 2 times he had CS (4 months ago)on his lip he asked for some of my Zovorax (I said I didnt' have any) I know that's mean but it kept him for going out with OP for SF...

I "think" when he had shingles they gave him steriods - but I could be wrong since it's been a couple of years ago that he had shingles.

Lemonman - so that rash on his butt could have been an outbreak??? I thought it was only genital lesions - live and learn..

When he used the otc salve - maybe he was also taking the Valtrex and I just didn't know it..and that's why it went away.Though, if memory serves me - he got this rash around the same time months that the script was filled.

As stupid as he is - he probably believes that as long as he doesn't have lesions he's ok to have SF..Since I get cold sores I know that I can go to bed w/no symptoms and yet wake up w/one..so I figured GH could be the same..your right - no condom - no sex ever w/him..its' a life sentence I don't want..He shut me out but I swear since last Sept. he did come to me a couple of times - yes, unprotected...sex..Hmm, maybe he was trying to give it to me..then, I'd never leave him..I'd be damaged goods too..

I did ask my gyno to check me for STD's during my last pap - all they did was a scraping..Do I need a different test for Herpes??? I did not get an HIV test - dr. did not offer it..and I didnt' give blood.

Last year when he took a blood test for insurance it showed a HIGH level of protein in his urine. Our GP asked him to take a 24 hr. urine test - he never took it..I think it was 300 normal is low 20's or less..So who knows what that could be.

Pep - the date on the script is Nov 03 - it basically looks to be an open script - good thru Nov 04 - to me that means unlimited refills..

I thought with GH/Valtrex you should take it everyday to keep it in remission - I doubt he takes it everyday.

We use the same GP - I don't know with Hippa if our Dr. would tell me why he prescribed it..Though, IMHO I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW...Does anyone know if our dr. would tell me????

Since he's had the script for a year now - why is he only setting it out now???? Could he be saying w/o saying - You know everything else hot shot - bet, you didnt' know this though....hahahhah,...it's not like he's hiding the bottle that's for sure..

If he have me GH - I'll go nuts...How dare he have sex w/me and not tell me....I'd try and sue him believe me I will....

What type of symptoms would I have??? External/internal???

toomuchcoffeeman - YES...my WH was the OM in my M...Yes, I screwed up...I allowed a serial cheat/sex predator to stalk and capture me...I fell in love..I still love my WH very much even through all that he's done to me with many OP. I don't regret the last 12 years of my life w/him. I'm sorry where it has ended up. I regret pain I've caused others..and I've learned never to cheat again..I left a M where I didn't love my spouse for what I thought was a happy ending..

Here's another thought as to why the bottle has appeared..

Maybe - he figures this will the the final straw for me - that once I know this I will go and file for a D...since he doesn't have the B@@@s to do it....

We fought last week - and he thinks I have some secret reason as to why I won't file that I'm not willing to share with him..The only reason I haven't filed for D is becoz I still love him and I can't do it..I can't walk out the door...YET....

Chiming in a little late in the discussion here....

You may be right as to why the bottle appeared now.

However, do yourself a favor, and have all the testing done.

Blood tests can reveal herpes....chronic or acute phase. Also, can reveal TYPE of herpes.

I found out that my WH was having an A when I contracted genital herpes from him. He said that I didn't get it from him, but came 60 miles that day from work to the clinic where I work to get blood tests. (I couldn't believe he was letting me draw his blood. I told him I could arrange for it to hurt bad if I wanted to.)

They showed he had BOTH types of herpes (acute phase). His story then changed to OW gave him herpes by having oral sex with him. Now, my guess is that he thought it was better for me to believe that he was just having oral sex with OW,
not REAL sex.

Anyway.....first things first. Get yourself tested. Go from there.

K

K- Yeah - I guess some people think oral sex is OK - it's not cheating...Mine keeps saying: You don't know what I was doing in that room - I never bought rubbers...I never F@#$#@ her...(them)...

So you need to have a blood test to be sure if you have Herpes?

A pap scrape isn't enough???

Right now - today - I don't want to know..I think I'd be pretty radical if I showed Positive...His pretty Corvettes would be the first brunt of my damage..I can't even think how I would accept knowing that he knowingly gave me Herpes..I know it can't kill you but that's not the point..I'd feel soooo dirty....ruined - damaged..he would pay one way or the other...

Could I sue him??? Naturally, after I file for D..

ITHURTS,

Forgive for asking you that question for I was not trying to be a smart a** and make you feel guilty for it, but to make you reflect on the quality of the man that you married. Nonetheless I have nothing but admiration for you for your love towards your WH and perseverance to save and rebuild your marriage. It is my sincerest wish that you achieve the goal of turning your marriage around.

Have you read Tom Mcknight's 'Love Tactics'? Its an excellent book and I highly recommend you reading it.

I wish you the best and God bless.

Can you sue him? Of course. In a civil trial..and you may very well win some pretty impressive damages.

Genital herpes may double the risk of cervical cancer and if you were to have a child while having an outbreak would guarantee the need for a caesarean section delivery which is more risky for both mother and child.

What he has done is serious..and I would make him pay for it to the greatest degree that I legally could. I would screw him to the wall so tightly that he would never forget what it feels like to have someone wreak destruction in his life without mercy or concern for his future.

There are all sorts of medical expenses in your future..he is responsible for them..he should pay.

He has also greatly harmed your ability to move on..because frankly..if I were considering marriage..an STD would be an absolute deal breaker. No way would I put myself in harms way intentionally.

Go for it. You have nothing to lose. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

--Noodle