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This whole situation just makes me want to scream out at the top of my lungs how much I love my wife! Is this normal? I mean, I feel like such an a$$ for neglecting her EN all these years and as a result she turned to someone else to get them fulfilled. I am trying my damndest to meet her needs and as a result feel as much in love with her as the day we married. Unfortunatley she does not quite feel the same way - yet. I will win her back, I just hope I am not smothering her with all the affection I am giving her. Everytime I walk by her I want to hug and kiss her. Everytime I look at her I think how beautiful she is. I can see a tiny light at the end of this tunnel after 6 weeks of hell.
MIF?
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Hello,
Clearly your feelings are very strong. Did you confront your wife? Did she go to the hotel to meet the OM? Has she shown remorse? Are you in marriage counseling? I am hoping you are not just trying to sweep this under the rug and not talk about it and hoping it will somehow go away. I wish you luck.
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Joined: Mar 2004
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Yes, we talked about it. She did not go to meet the OM. We have had our ups and downs the past several weeks, but she is very receptive to my affection and has cut off contact to OM, as of 2 weeks ago. We are in MC. Have gone once together and she had one independant session. I go 11-1 on my own then we continue together after that. I am working real hard to change ME to be the person that I was when we met and fell in love, the person she would like for me to be.
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Hello again,
Congratulations. I think you did the right thing.
I am so glad that you both are in marriage counseling and that you are now both communicating. It sounds like you both are on the right track. I wish you the best.
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Joined: Mar 2004
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Thanks. I think we are on the right track, and it feels good. Of course it could all change real quickly I realize that. One little slip. But in the meantime I am going to enjoy how things are. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <small>[ October 23, 2004, 09:10 PM: Message edited by: marriage is forever? ]</small>
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Those positive changes you make in your contributions to your marriage must be permanent. To make changes until you "get your wife back", then return to your previous behaviour, is a sucker's bet.
If I even come close from departing from the changes I made, FWW picks up on it immediately. We both expect more and better from our marriage than we had Pre-A.
Stay in Plan A, it works! Coupled with competent counseling, you are on a great path. Stay strong and motivated!
SD
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Joined: Jul 2004
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marriage in forever writes:
I think we are on the right track, and it feels good. Of course it could all change real quickly I realize that. One little slip. But in the meantime I am going to enjoy how things are.
Good luck MIF. Is your wife acknowledging her faults in this ? It almost seems like you are shouldering all the balem for this affair. I will pray for you man. The way you feel about your wife is nice to hear, I hope that you are ok going through all of this.
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Joined: Mar 2004
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SD,
Thanks, I realize that I cannot slip back to my old ways. That is why my W is not quite on the same page I am. She says she fears that after a couple of months things will revert back to the way it used to be. Part of the reason I have posted here on these forums is so that I have something to remind me of what I went through and hopefully keep me from reverting back to that. "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
Some of it may have to do with my anti-depressants kicking in too. I truly feel I have been clinically depressed for the past 7 years, and hit rock bottom after all this. I finally did something about it, got some meds, and feel good about myself and life in general.
MIF?
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Joined: Mar 2004
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lemonman,
Yes, she realizes the mistakes she made, and feels bad for hurting me.
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