OMG so we went together to my cousins wedding.....was ok...then we are at the reception and his stupid B*&%$ OW texts him...and in front of my whole family he responds not once not twice...but 3 times....I am keeping a bright face but screaming inside....then he is in a rush to go...so I said oh can we dance with AJ before we go....he said no....I was livid....so we left...and he started in on me on the way home and we got into a screaming match...but I got some truths out of him....he still does love me....and he truly knows he isn't healed...and his relationship with OW is rocky....oh and her pastor apparently said it was ok for her to be with him because he ended our realtionship and her pastor told her to email me because it was "tearing her up"....oh and he told her about the baby...yet he has never gone to visit the grave.....oh and because he won't sit and make a schedule to see his son and only tries to see him 3-4 hours weekly...i am taking him away from him...-_-...and now he's going to take my son away from me because he is financially better OFF!.....then we head outside to say goodnight....and he is yelling at me again causing a scene...and then he calls the cops and says I am attacking him......i told the dispatcher from a far he's trying to file a false report...so they sent cops out.....i told the cop about him yelling making a scene and even in the apartment yelling saying that I was holding a knife...and he even once again said if I don't give him joint custody....I will be driving him to kill himself and leave a suicide note so AJ and I don't get any insurance money.....now he says these things in anger....but he tried to call the cops on me....the cops told him....he had to leave and not come back tonight...I also advised the police about his OW trying to contact me.....they told him he better tell her to leave me alone.....they didn't file a report...which is good....

missinghimterribly,

If you keep LB'ng you have no one to blame but yourself. Just picture now he is crying to OW and make you an evil W.

You should stay in the party and have fun.

-rh-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by redhat:
<strong> missinghimterribly,

If you keep LB'ng you have no one to blame but yourself. Just picture now he is crying to OW and make you an evil W.

You should stay in the party and have fun.

-rh- </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Problem was we came in the same vehicle....and I tried to stay positive till he pushed me too far..and as far as OW she was constanly texting him and call wondering where he was and when he told her she went off on him....and that was causing him even more stress....I heard him on the phone with her telling her to stop calling him she was adding to his stress....so right now he is probally doing what he does when he is stress...driving....he does that alot....the thing that worreid me was his statements about suicide...he came up with those on his own.

MHT I will only advise out of m own experience, wise heads like RH are surely more reliable.

However how do you think your anger , emotional outbursts, disrespectful judgements and apparent desperation are going to convince your WH to end his affair and come back to you ?

If it were ME being bawled out I am sure I would not think "This wonderful woman is correct, I will change my ways immediately and return to her so Ican be shouted atfor my own good every day".

You have been DREADFULLY betrayed and you are being hurt more every day. I can relate to that well but your strength in this situation can only desrive from your living in a way that belies his affair-rationalizing opinion of you.

What worked for me was to reliaze the FACT that theres pretty much nothing I could do to directly end the affair. It was out of my hands.
Once realized its SAD but you can detach a little and effect the response you choose.

Now you have EVERY RIGHT to be angry and righteously indignant at every opportunity with WH. This is not proven to be a course of action that leads to reconciliation and M rebuilding very often though.

Or you can 'plan A' - live in a way that not only destroys his rationalization of you as a poor spouse but in a way that means he cannot fail to notice you rattractiveness and a spouse, and that magnifies his remaining love for you.

If you choose this path you must remove yourself from situations where you may not be able to control yourself.

my FWW has phoned OM when we were out together. I said to her " When you openly violate NC like that it makes me feel humilated in a way that I feel I do not deserve. On th eother hand, I am so very happy and hopeful for our M recovery when you maintain NC, very sad when you contact OM".

But thats it. No shouting, crying. In fact I continued bowling with the kids afterwards ! I was dying inside, but you MUST NOT let this show unless you do not want to recover your M.

So, advice from my own experience MHT. Happy family events are a GREAT opportunity to Plan A 'in his face' IME but LBing as completely as you did here will not get him back, if thats what you want. You have complication beyond my experience in that you WHs affair appears to be in revenge for yours but I guess plan A tnets hold true.

All blessings

<small>[ October 24, 2004, 01:54 AM: Message edited by: Bob Pure ]</small>

soo here is how today went....he was still pissed about last night but we took our son to the rennesance faire together....he said we could only spend an hour there tho and if I went past that....he would never forgive me *like I was the one who needs all the forgiving*....so on the way there his stupid OW texts him multiple times and i can see it makes him frustrated...I just look straight ahead and didn't say a word but inside i was screaming TURN YOUR PHONE OFF....so we get there and he is a grump for the 1st 30 min...so we get to the archery longbows and shoot a few rounds and he lightens up *of course you know I am imagining a picture of OW as the target right even tho i don't know what she looks like*...good stress reliever? and he continued to lighten up as the rest of the 30 min we had left flew by....we stopped on the way home and got some food and ate lunch....then I fell asleep in the truck....when he stopped to get off the freeway...i noticed it took along time before we started moving again and i got the feeling I was being watched...of course I was still snoozing....but then when he started driving he made sure the truck rocked alot to jostle me awake....we picked up the dog...and then we got back home...he brought our DS in and set him down on the floor and turned to leave...saying he was tired...but the day went ok....not the best but ok

<small>[ October 24, 2004, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: missinghimterribly ]</small>

You are doing good. You didn't LB'ed. Actually OW had done LB'ng <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Just picture that in your mind <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

It appears that he is in revenge A. If you step back and keep plan A'ng, one hope he would see the different between with you and with OW.

Like Bob's sugested. You could tell him that you are hurting anytime OW intefere with "family time" but it is his choice to stop it or not. No LB'ed, no threathening, no drama.

-rh-

OK so i didn't call WH at all yesterday....but then my cell rings today at work...I am like uhhhh...I didn't answer it.....but then when i check it...it's his cell phone....so I call back and dialog goes like this:

WH: Hello

Me: you called:

*silent hesitation*

Wh: is this your cell?

Me: Yes. it's my old cell phone...mom bought me a new sim card. So what did you need?

Wh: oh yeah i was calling to see if your cell phone was in here.
*I lost it over the weekend*

me: ok well thanks for looking

Wh: ok

me: bye

WH: bye

And that was it.....so he's thinking about me because?
I thought he moved on...even tho his relationship with bible studdy girl is rocky they are "together". Why care about me suddenly?

ok WH just emailed me....he paid the registration on my truck.....how should i respond?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by missinghimterribly:
<strong> ok WH just emailed me....he paid the registration on my truck.....how should i respond? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank him <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ... if Admiration is one of his top ENs ... time to blow his ego up.

-rh-