What if she will not admit the affair? How hard do I push? Is this where I start branching out to tell other people that might help? If she does admit do I ask for a decision right now or do I just leave it out there that I know and hope she will come around? In reading some of the articles they talk about writing a letter is this something that is done when I confront her and she admits or is this part of the next step?

Even though my wife and the other man are in different states they still occasionally have to talk business I need to split the affair up. I am all for calling his wife, but I think that he may be leaving work to start another job in a few months. I am afraid that if I call her this may prevent that from happening. If they still work together then they will still have a reason for contact. Are there any suggestions on how I can give ideas to her to keep the conversation way from the affair besides the letter since she will have to be working with him for at least a few months?

Really freaking out right now because I have not been able to locate her for the past hour and a half. Last night she went through her closet picking out her clothes, which she rarely does. How do I keep my head straight while there is a good chance that she is off hurting me and there is nothing I can do?

Sorry for all the questions but I really want to do this right and not mess up.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hurt3:
What if she will not admit the affair? How hard do I push? Is this where I start branching out to tell other people that might help? If she does admit do I ask for a decision right now or do I just leave it out there that I know and hope she will come around? In reading some of the articles they talk about writing a letter is this something that is done when I confront her and she admits or is this part of the next step?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Her refusal to admit the truth is inconsequential for YOU already KNOW the truth. She will soon realize that it is futile to try to convince you otherwise.

As far as telling other people [other than OM's W], I would wait until the two of you have a calm, quiet, and respectful talk about what her intentions are regarding the affair.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Even though my wife and the other man are in different states they still occasionally have to talk business I need to split the affair up. I am all for calling his wife, but I think that he may be leaving work to start another job in a few months. I am afraid that if I call her this may prevent that from happening. If they still work together then they will still have a reason for contact. Are there any suggestions on how I can give ideas to her to keep the conversation way from the affair besides the letter since she will have to be working with him for at least a few months?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Irregardless of whether or not she dumps the OM and never contacts him again, you MUST inform OM's W of his affair with your W. Why? Because she has a right to know what her WH has been doing behind her back and because it will make it extremely hard for him to continue his affair with your WW because his BW will be watching him like a hawk. Remember that unlike WWs, WHs seldom leave their marriage for the OW.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Really freaking out right now because I have not been able to locate her for the past hour and a half. Last night she went through her closet picking out her clothes, which she rarely does. How do I keep my head straight while there is a good chance that she is off hurting me and there is nothing I can do?

Sorry for all the questions but I really want to do this right and not mess up. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No need to apologize but you must calm down because freaking out will not only not help but it could actually harm your chances of saving your marriage by making you LB [love bust] and pushing her further towards the OM.