I've been having a really hard time since Saturday. I seem to go through spurts of good days and bad days. But, I have more bad days then good. I really hope that turns around cuz we can't take my bad days too well. I go into major withdraw in my bad days which is where I'm at now but don't want to be. I need to learn how to get rid of these thoughts but I have no idea how! Over and over I keep thinking that his affair was an unforgivable crime against our marriage that he willing did. He gave away what was special in our marriage to someone else. I can't seem to look at it like that was the past now let's move forward. I'm very angry still I guess. I don't know (sigh) just me having a really bad day and wishing I could turn it around and keep it that way. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I go through days like that too. How are you supposed to forget? Carry on like nothing happened?

I find that with mind clearing exercise things seem better, at least I feel better.
I try and do something everyday...even if it's a walk or raking leaves. Then i feel I've earned the glass of wine at night. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Do something for yourself!

Marsha, your dday wasn't long ago, time does help heal this.

What are you needing from your H. Questions answered? Sincere apologies? Love and security? Why are you down? Just the everyday infidelity sucks, or are you needing something from him?

Communicate!!!! Tell him your worries. Is he fully committed now to your M?

Set him down and tell him, today is a bad day for me, I need you to give me extra love, I need you to reaffirm your desire to rebuild our M.

You will feel so much better. I always do when my H collars me, ties me down, and makes me talk. I'm a stuffer, so it is hard for me, but he is making it so much better, with a safe place to do so.

Sorry you are down. (((hug)))

If communication don't work, try chocolate. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

KY

I don't really know what I need from him. He is doing everything that is asked and calling me every hour while he is gone from the house. He's answered all my questions and has been sincerely apologetic about the whole thing and I can see he is hurting that he has hurt me so badly. I am a stuffer too thought never looked at it like that! My husband hates that and has threatened to leave me if I can't start communicating with him about my feelings and just every day stuff. I don't like to talk much I guess. I don't understand why I'm having a bad day or really a few bad days. I don't know if I could say those things to him. To just get them out of my mouth sounds very difficult. I'm just glad I can come here when I have a bad day. Now to top it off he came home for lunch and I wanted him to eat with me but he ended up on the phone for 45 minutes and I ate alone with the boys! We are on a schedule cuz I homeschool so I couldn't wait for him. Made me upset cuz he knew I wanted to eat with him and he made the call anyway. I told him he could of waited 10 minutes to eat with me and then make the call. Now he's mad cuz I'm upset at him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Guess it's just an over all bad day!

I'm doing much better now. Not sure why but I'm so glad! I did text him that message about needing more lovin while I'm hurting so bad. I text things I can't say to his face. Not sure why I can't talk to him. Something I have to work on I guess. Guess this is why we are stuck on the conversation lesson too! One step at a time I guess and I'll just have to learn that time heals!