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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 273
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Joined: Dec 2003
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It has been a while since I have been here. The divorce was final July 21 after 13 long months. The Ex never looked back and still has not. Her and the Ex friend are still together, he has picked up our kids from School, stayed with the wife during the hurricane and has been at the house where the ex is staying almost every night,
The ex was seen shopping with him and out at the clubs. She still denies the affair, even after all the proof of himn furnishing her cell phones and bank records. I keep the house and all possessions except for the master beedroom suite which I have replaced.
I have put the bedroom suite on the carport and fully put it back together. Sheets, pillows,comfortor etc. just like it was in the room including lamps on the nightstands. In each drawer of the Dresser I ha placed copies of family portraits. Is this a good idea? it still makes me sick when I go to pick up the kids and his truck is there. I also had a call last week from him, a hang up I called back and he said I dialed the wrong number, that would be ok if he ever knew my number to start.
others have seen the wife and said she looks rough. I have not saw her in months.
What do I do?
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Joined: Oct 2002
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g
I have put the bedroom suite on the carport and fully put it back together. Sheets, pillows,comfortor etc. just like it was in the room including lamps on the nightstands. In each drawer of the Dresser I ha placed copies of family portraits. Is this a good idea? it still makes me sick when I go to pick up the kids and his truck is there. I also had a call last week from him, a hang up I called back and he said I dialed the wrong number, that would be ok if he ever knew my number to start.
Classic, in my opinion. Did you take pictures? I'm sure others here wish they had thought of that. Not sure that it makes much difference in the big scheme of things. You could also soak the mattress with aqua-velva or High Karate.
I say you keep moving forward, for you and your kid's sake.
I copied this from somewhere a long time ago and it seems appropriate to post to you. A couple years ago I couldn't have said this to another dude:
After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight. You learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure that you really are strong and you really do have worth. And you learn....
God Bless
Doug
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 273
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Yes I did take pictures, dont really know why. The ex also wanted the Christmas tree, I started to assemble that as well but did not want to waste my time and dont want her and "who ever" she gets to help her remove the furniture in MY yard any longer than they have to be.
I still care about her, thats the bottom line. at school my daughters teachers just smirk at the ex, every time I turn around people are telling me how bad the ex looks. Im sure the 37 Dr. visits in 11 months and the daily trips to the tanning beds and nightly glass of wine dosent help. friends ex wife has told me ex friend was at Dr's office all the time as well.
I also know the ex friend is being investigated by DHR, he whipped his kids with a belt and their PE teacher reported black and blue marks. I am waiting for the investigation results and will act then as per my attorney.
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Joined: Feb 2002
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Steve:
It's good 2 hear from you again. Sorry it's gone this way, but it sounds like you're holding up.
Is she planning on picking up the furni2re? If not, consider renting an H2 and flattening it. THEN take ANOTHER "after" pic2re for your photo album!
I wouldn't flatten it with the photos in there, though. Keep those, but just don't look at them until you can do so without feeling hurt when you do.
Seriously, if having the furni2re out there keeps the hurt fresh, get it gone one way or another. You don't need that.
I loved that 2uote of yours, d_rose. It is absolutely excellent.
Steve, keep working with your lawyer regarding your kids' safety. If the OM is hurting his own kids, he's a danger around yours. Try 2 get full custody if so.
best, -ol' 2long
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 273
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I have put up with the furniture for 3 weeks, think Im gonna wait it out. Let her come get it and make sure the mini blinds se are open so she can see the complete remodel of the house, ALL of her decorating is gone, wallpaper, pictures, etc I have repainted every thing, including slick finishing the ceilings. , changed all light fixtures added recess lights, removed ceramic tile she picked out and had installed, put in new tile.... out with the old.
The part that hurts the worse is all of the people calling me and telling me how bad she looks. I guess they think I will feel better if they tell me how bad she looks.
ex friend is there almost every night. the kids tell me they hate it and want me there. they argure with this 2 kids and he whips his kids (boys) if they argue with my kids (girls)
It still makes me sick.
Time is on my side, be clear on that. I will wait till rapture to get/give what I feel is just.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 273
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The day is here, the OM gave the wife a ring, I asked the wife and she told me it was none of my business. The kids have told me she has the ring on.
He has been taking them everywhere, The OM also told his ex he and my ex wife are very happy and are planning a trip this summer. He also told her I was causing problems between them.
When I brought the kids back the other night he was there and started to walk outside until he saw me. He turned and jumped back in the house. I just said hey, come on out. he declined.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Steve, I am sorry it has turned out like this, for you and your kids.
How are you doing in building up your life without her? Have you been out? Have you found any activities for you and the girls?
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 273
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I have been busy, I have remodeled the entire house. I take the kids and do normal low key stuff such as take them to the movies or out to eat. I do not and will not attempt to buy them such as the ex and her boyfriend. She had gotten on the phone when I was talking to my daughter several weeks ago and said our daughter went to the counsler at school and told herwhat had happened. The wife said our daughter was upset at our divorce and I stopped her and said no. this is YOUR divorce not mine dont include me in your lies. The wife got mad and hung up the phone.
I still go to the gym. I finally got the nerve to ask someone out and got stood up. we had plans and she was to meet me and never showed or called. It was at TGIF so I just played it off. Her daughter and my youngest are in the same class. It was her idea. I never called back, maybe I will just to remind her what she done. I have been out several times and my mind wonders and I really dont want to be out with them., I go because everyone is wanting to fix me up with their friends. women, such as the kids school teachers are telling me. I wish I had some single friends to fix you up with...
It kills me when I hear women say men are pigs. I feel like throwing up when I hear it.
I also hear oh, it gets eaiser......I dont think so. its been 16 months, I still feel the same.
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