My favorite lawyer jokes...I'm sure you've heard some of these before. Feel free to add some- I always love them contrary to what the first joke says.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
1) Q. What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.
2)Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down a street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred-dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
3)A quote attributed to Founding Father John Adams in the play “1776â€: “I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, two men are called a law firm, and three or more become a Congress.â€
4)For a good time, hire a hooker,
For a lot of time, hire my attorney.
-- Anonymous prison cell graffiti
5)A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.
The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.
The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
“Aren’t you going to have a drink yourself?†asked the doctor.
“Sure, after the police leave,†replied the attorney.
5) Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body?
They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
6) A surgeon, an architect an a lawyer are having a heated barroom discussion concerning which of their professions is actually the oldest profession.
The surgeon says: "Surgery IS the oldest profession. God took a rib from Adam to create Eve and you can't go back further than that."
The architect says: "Hold on! In fact, God was the first architect when he created the world out of chaos in 7 days, and you can't go back any further than THAT!"
The lawyer puffs his cigar and says: "Gentlemen, Gentlemen...who do you think created the CHAOS??!!"
and last but not least...
7) "It was so cold last week that I saw several lawyers with their hands in their own pockets."
